AlliH…hope ur ok…as can be…it is the simple little reminders that hit you…cant bring myself to watch the shows we used to watch together.it is a lonely empty place to be.the days are long…the evenings even longer.especially now its lighter…go to bed…get up and go thru it all again…
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Hi guys…not had any notifications atall for ages so hope your all doing as well as you can be…still basically the same.missing her sososo much…been fixing the fence coz the weathers ok.people pass by saying hi…happy as happy people are not knowing how my heart breaks with every damn paintstroke…am so dreading the really light nights…hope ur al well
Hi Eddie777
It will be 3 months to the day on Sunday since i lost my wife. I know i will be a mess.
At 3 months people expect me to answer ‘I’m ok’ when they ask me how i am.
No-one gets how impossible it is to just carry on like nothing’s happened.
I have fallen out with her son, as i felt he has treated the whole thing with no respect for his mum. He told me everything was my fault not his, as i was not considering ‘his loss’. If blaming me makes carrying his own guilt better, so be it, but i won’t ever see him from now, as i can’t be bothered with selfish and bitter people.
Oh well on to the weekend, and then the following Sunday which will be two months after i buried her. Bad days coming.
My best to you in your own struggles.
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I lost Mark on the 8th January, it was such a shock, I thought he was healthy, fifty eight years old, eight years younger than me, I thought I would go first, now I am living in a nightmare, I miss him so much, how can I even contemplate a future without him, I don’t know the answer.
I feel your pain, people ask “are you okay” they don’t understand, how can I be okay, when the person I have spent thirty years loving has gone from my life, all my dreams for the future, gone. It’s such a lonely life without the one you love.
I send you my love xx
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Well I made it to Colchester and back in one piece [physically and emotionally] even though I had a lttle bump [ literally and figuratively].
After a nightmare 7 hour journey back [ 2 whole hours just navigating my way through a Bradford full of the worst driving I’ve seen] I was almost glad to get home - until I walked in to an empty house.
How are you now? I hope things are a bit kinder towards you now .
Hi @Eddie777, I’m doing ok sometimes, had a better week last week but tbh this week has been awful, so many thoughts and an overwhelming longing to see my husband again. It’s nearly 14 weeks for me now and sometimes I feel like I’m moving forward and then backwards. Do you feel anything has changed in your grieving process at all? Nice to hear from you.
Glad to hear you made it home safely, did you travel through Suffolk in the end? Did you have a bump with the car? Hope it wasn’t too bad. 7 hours sounds like a nightmare journey.
I’m ok I think, had a good week last week, but not so good this week tbh, I guess that’s how this grief journey plays out, how are you doing?
A12 to Ipswicj then A14…
I’m a week behind you but I know you’re right about the process of grief - it moves forward at an irregular pace, jumps back and forth with no obvious triggers. My pattern seems to have settled to difficult Tuesday mornings and Friday afternoons though and late afternoons. Oddly, I seem best about 2am!
I’m not sure why but I’ve gone from a good week to a bad one too.
All we can do is to be grateful that we now know we can at least have good spells and hope we get more of them…
Goid luck.
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I spent last week in Plymouth, which is full of triggers. Hazel loved it down there, like i do. It seemed to be a good or ok day, followed by a not good day, almost as if I felt guilty about it.
Now I’m home, its a standard ok-ish with periods of tears and misery. Life goes on though and nothing will cure it.
At least i have a good family and friends.
Take care of yourself
For the longest time i feel guilty if i enjoy a day out with the girls, my wife would have loved being there with us, but the girls have done without days out as i dont want the guilt. Now i feel bad that theyve missed out so im getting more comfortable going places again. Having our first holiday since 2021 next month and im actually excited about. Hopefully this guilty feeling will go, i should be enjoying every moment with the kids.
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I went to Scotland a few weeks ago. I enjoyed being there, but was also really sad because my wife always wanted to go, and we never made it. I only went because i did not want to be on my own on what would have been our 20th Wedding Anniversary.
It did fill me with guilt, but i know she would want me to carry on without her. It is still too early in my grief to not feel the guilt and pain, but i do believe we have to try to push ourselves forward and try to live.
Your girls would also want you to start trying to live again. It must have been incredibly hard for them too, and your strength can be their strength too.
Good luck to you all.
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Thankyou all for ur replies.Jrthorn.Flints.PSHm3.AlliH.phil668.judge17…means so much…hope ur all as well as can be…im now 5months in…and it really is no easier.iv been out with a daughter today which was nice…but we both wudv been ther.which you obviously think about…been doing some gardening coz of the weather.which wed planned to do and now im doing it…but thinking wots the point…coz shes not here to see it …it does seem impossible to just carry on…and anything is still a trigger.anywer…i keep going.but with no point…i cant seem to understand how the kids although grown up sèem to be doing ok…i hide it from them…but im a mess…anyway…dont want to bring you all down…take care everyone❤
I have to hide it from my two still at home, try not to bring them down, they have been through enough, their Dad meant so much to them.
I cry in bed or when they are at work, although two weeks ago we went to Paris , I cried in a restaurant all over my lasagne. My son had to assure the waiter it wasn’t because of the food !
Goodnight, sleep well xx
I feel guilty about going out, even more so if i enjoy myself. I spent a week in Plymouth, which Hazel loved. Without her it seemed to be one good day, then a guilty and upset day. I caught a train to Penrith today, rather than be lonely at home. I was lonely in Penrith instead and miss her company so much.
I keep plodding on a step and a day at a time…
I think Hazel wouldn’t want you to be sad and guilty, I am sure she would want you to enjoy yourself, even though, I realise how hard that can be to do xx
Yes, i know she’d be telling me off, but that’s how it feels, however hard i try.
Thanks though xx
One Phil to another, I suspect I know exactly where you are emotionally at the moment. Your words could easily be mine.
I’m just 14 weeks in today and have spent the last 4 hours beating myself up because I’d got through the morning without it registering.
My thoughts are with you and everyone else suffering as we are.
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Went out for a family meal on sunday.all the kids+gkids…was really good.but not coz loz wasnt there with me and us all…spiritually maybe…coz i have things happening round the house.which i cant logically explain…things moving…falling…turning on.on their own?..so…i dont know?..any of you had similar?
It was our 37th wedding anniversary today. I was upset first thing, but I went to Lytham St Anne’s to do my son’s garden for him. I saw two of my grandchildren too, and showed them the wedding photos, without getting upset.
Sat at home this evening a felt numb and empty, then got upset because i felt so desolate.
But another “First” survived. Another step and another day
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You have done well to get through this memorable day, today for me was three months from the day my husband died, and it’s been a real crying, screaming, begging day. Still cannot believe I will never hold him again, but as you say, another step and another day, all we can do is keep trying to survive
Sending you love xx
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