Hi
I’ve taken another break from this site and catching up. Your messages totally echo how I’m feeling 10 weeks in. I have gone to certain places we used to go but all I felt was sorrow. The problem is they mean nothing to me without my wife so I now realise it’s not visiting the places that I miss it’s going anywhere without her. I’m sure that in time it will change but I don’t know how long that will be.
It’s the same with me, I used to spend hours gardening, I went out there this morning, and thought “what’s the point anymore”
I just can’t find a reason for making me, the garden or the house look good, he is not here to see any of it, so why should I bother.
What a terrible journey we are on, it’s one we didn’t choose, and it’s unbearable.
Sending love xx
I know exactly what you mean I’m just keeping the house ticking over. If you liked the gardening maybe now the weather is better you could try to do something in there. Maybe you’ll find that better for your mind than letting it go. I have decided to force myself to keep on top of the garden because we both liked sitting out there.
Sending love to you too and hope you can gradually get your life back to a bearable level.
Thank you, I hope the same for you xx
If it’s a journey, then I don’t like thr itinerary. Two steps forward and a another couple back. A lot of standing around, not knowing where i am or where I’m going. I don’t like thee look of what’s in front of me because it looks bleak and desolate, in this lovely sunshine. I sense another storm brewing too, and i had to navigate another “First” (wedding anniversary 
) yesterday. I thought i did ok but have a guilt hangover
Otherwise I’m ok and carrying on as best I can, as we all are 
Yeah, its tough isnt it. Its my wifes birthday tomorrow, so the girls have got cards laminated (5 year olds has been made by hand), and we’ll take flowers there after school. Seems weird wishing her a happy birthday when theres nothing happy about it
That is tough !!
I don’t really see a time when I will ever be happy again.
Hopefully your wife is somewhere happy, I am hoping my husband is happy, wherever he is.
Sending you love xx
I second that. There is a lot of standing around, not knowing what the heck is going on, or where my life is heading, and all we can really do, is keep on getting up every day and doing the best we can xx
Iv been doing lots of work in the garden with the good weather…with help from my daughters boyfriend…new fence and patio…hard work.kept us very busy…it was always the plan…so now its done…just loz isnt physically here to see it…i totally get ‘whats the point’?..i feel like that now its done…im not gonna sit out ther on me own. …my bday this wkend.and hers very soon too…which i know will be tough…so gonna be a rough week ahead…hope ur well as can be
I hope you find yourself able to celebrate your birthday somehow, but I know it will be very sad for you, I believe your wife would want you to be alright. You were together a long time, it’s difficult trying to make sense of it all, being without them is alien to us.
We just have to keep going as best as we can, although some days it seems pointless, we still have people here who love us, and for me, my children and granddaughter are the reasons I drag myself out of bed every day.
I send my love xx
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I know how you feel. 3 months from my wife’s death last Sunday, 2 months since i buried her this Sunday, 4 months since the last night she was at home next Tuesday, and to top it all off, it’s our eldest granddaughter’s birthday tomorrow. The days are horrible at the moment.
People say that you should not think about dates, but how can you not?!
I post stuff related to losing your partner on Facebook. I know oeople will be saying ‘here he goes again, why can’t he just move on?’ I don’t post for sympathy, i post to tell her how much i love her and how badly i miss her. I know she probably won’t see it, and it seems stupid to do it, but i feel i need to…for her. If others don’t get it i don’t care.
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Thanks flints and Jrthorn…your wirds mean alot…got thru the day. went out to a country pub with family…in the sunshine. it was nice but didnt feel right…the sun was shining and everyone was happy.kids wer playing on the park… and all i cud think was i dont belong here…everything still seems pointless and we do what we do.just to get thru the day…i think remembering dates is important… its who we wer together… and posting things i think is good. .who cares what other people think.theyr obviously not going thru itif it works for you and it helps in anyway…do it…any little positive to you is a positive…take care.x
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I do exactly the same, like you say I do it for me as I miss my husband so much, its my way of telling him how much I miss him.
Today I asked one of my old coworkers how she managed to get through the day after losing her husband a few years ago and she said with great difficulty, we both ended up in tears in the middle of the supermarket
We all feel the same on here, we feel your pain. Nothing seems right any more, but we have to go on, one day at a time.
My brother has passed today, I am numb and sad, it’s all too much for me to deal with, he was 63. I pray he is now pain free and at peace.
Sending you love xx
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Flints, I’m really sorry to hear that you lost your brother. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Take care. Much love too. Nigel xxxx
Omg, im so sorry for your loss, there’s no words that I can say but I’m here for you.
Love and hugs xx
Thank you Nigel xx
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Thank you Poppet, I am worn out by it all and feeling sad. Take care, lots of love to you xx
Take care of yourself, love and hugs xxx
Sending love and care Flints.xx❤