Its now coming up to 4 years since i lost my soulmate and things, if anything, have become harder, the people i thought were friends have all but deserted me, and when we were entertaining all and sundry they flocked round to enjoy what was offered.
I recently contracted Long Covid and not one person has rallied round, apart from ‘I’m sorry’ on facebook, and i still feel terrible 4 weeks on.
Its very hard to acknowledge that very few care, and the most disappointing ones have been relatives,they are the worst, not one has been near me.
Its a lonely road we travel alone, the silence is deafening. As a couple we would go out often and be invited to many events, but once you become alone, you become invisible to most.
I have joined several groups with varying success, plus i have become rather larthargic in putting myself out there.
Unfortunately the effort of getting out and about on my own is proving harder today than it was 3 years ago and i drift into a world of aloneness and i know its not a good place to be, but i really have tried.
Until now i have always been outgoing and full of fun, but not anymore.
So sorry to hear about your lonliness. I think we are expected to move on, create a new life - as if its a case of doing the right things and then reaping the benefits. But life is more subtle and complicated. I dont have a car so it isnt easy to get out. Luckily I live in a small town with all the facilities I need within walking distance or a taxi ride. I attend several groups, mostly older ladies, many widowed. I am grateful for their sympathy and support, it has helped me through 18 weeks.
But I dont feel I am really moving on. I know its early days but do worry about the future.
I am 70 but beginning to feel my useful life is over. I hope you find new meaning in your life. The pain of bereavement is a burden we willingly carry, out of love, but we shouldn’t be condemned to endless misery. I hope we all find the hope we need.
I know exactly what you mean my wife’s funeral was last November not had a text call or anything thing in almost 11 months it’s as if we have all got some sort of contagious disease to be honest i am now getting used to being on my own with the lovely memories of my lovely wife we were married for 44 years
I’m so sorry you feel so lonely. I can empathise thoroughly as I feel it overwhelming at times. It’s been four today since my wonderful husband/soulmate died. We did everything together so weren’t great socialites. But since I’ve been on my own, I have tried to go out a little and have joined a group of very nice ladies (mostly widows) at the nearby park where I take our dog for her walks. It’s nice to chat, but then coming back to an empty, silent house and ‘talking’ to my husbands photograph starts me starts me feeling lost, alone and frightened all over again. It’s getting harder now with the the days getting shorter. I’m dreading the winter and Christmas. this is such a surreal existence. I hate it. Take care everyone.
Four months
Aw … i know what you mean ! The dilence is deafening ! Good one ! And relatives ! Huh ! Whatvrelaruves cos they all seem to have disappeared since the funeral ! I really wish they hadnt bothered coming tbf … they just think come to funeral and then goodbye !! Xx
Its terrible and very sad that people soon forget our existence, its life i suppose but i dont think it was always like this.?
No it wasnt ! I think covid has a lot to do with it you know ! When we were all shut away and we werent communicating ?? X
I am quiet shocked too at some relatives. I am sicked by one who actually started messaging me and saying my wife had promised to leave them £1500. I have no information on this at all, then they told me never to speak again and two others refuse to speak.
Agh people dont understand or care about the grief we are going through. Om really sickened at times.
Yeh its pretty bad when people just boil down to money when our hearts are broken ! Grrrhh xx
Relatives are the worst people to deal with, often they are utterly ruthless.
I completely get what you are saying I’m the same as you it doesn’t get easier gets harder . I’m sorry you have now long covid .
Most people think once the funeral is over that’s it and fir them it is . We are the ones that have to deal with this terrible loss and our life changed in the most shocking way forever…
take care hugs to you xx
They so are … !!! Just horrible …i am so disgusted with my siblings - hard faced and mean … all you need is support but thats too much to ask from some people !!! Xx
@Deb5, I hope you have a lovely evening, remembering your dear husband. Sad, of course, but think of your wonderful memories. Xx
Thank you @Rome18 im feeling really upset today … its really knocked me back … but thanks for your kind words bless you. Xxx
It is bound to knock you back, I know how I felt on my dear husband’s birthday. He would be proud of you and how you are managing,. Xx
Thanks @Rome18 but don’t feel like im managing today … feel devastated again … its strange isnt it what sets you back … xx
Hi Rhody, i can empathise with all you’ve said. I often get the, “oh they wouldn’t want you feeling that or thinking that or not doing that.” Like i/ we don’t know that, we do, but easier said than done. Your world is turned upside down & you’re no longer a we, your’re a single. People do disappear, the ones that ask how you are, are ok, if you say, “oh yeah, i’m fine.” If you dare say, “no, not good,” & then start to say why, even if on the phone, i can see theircryes glaze over & ears rdfuse to hear it. The subject is just changed, so i just don’t bother now. I genuinely have no one i feel i can talk to about my lose, but other things that i would’ve shared with them. Kniwing they jad my back & full support. All that has gone & yes it’s very lonely & isolating. Yhe world in general is not a happy place now & i can’t share hiw i feel about it all to the person that understood me the most & supported me 100% 
Thank you so much ,and you understand completely, when lots of people have no idea what you’re going through.
Rhody, thank you, yes i get it.