So this will mark two months after the murder of my partner I simply can’t cope With this it’s my worst nightmare come true … it was a very brutal murder people say I’m lucky I was not there but I don’t think this at all just now I wish I had been there to stop it or to go with him or instead of him… how do you get over this 
1 Like
I am so very sorry for your tragic loss. How utterly devastating, I don’t have any words, there are no words really for the desolation we feel. Sending love and strength 
xx
2 Likes
Thank you for the kind words I’m carrying deep pain guilt for we had a bit of an argument the two weeks running up I was in hospital and struggling to deal with certain issues we had and now I feel terrible for this like it’d my fault
2 Likes
Oh Amy, what a dreadful time you are having. Please, please do not blame yourself for this. It couldn’t possibly be your fault. As for the disagreements, well, I have trouble believing couples who say they never row. There may be some, but the majority of us are normal people and we can’t possibly agree on everything. What I am trying to say is, in my view, there is no way your disagreement could have caused what happened. It was just the wrong time.
Nothing I can say will take away the pain. We lose someone and we have to bear the pain as best we can. I hope you have family and friends to support you. Maybe you might feel like getting counselling at some point. You can get that through Sue Ryder.
I send you a virtual hug. Ann x
3 Likes
Hi @amy1444, I am so sorry for the loss of your partner in the most horrific of circumstances too. I agree with @AnnR it was not your fault and no amount of disagreements could have lead to this. We all argued and said things we didn’t mean but you have nothing to feel guilty about. Your pain will be with you for a long time but like us all you will get through it with help and support. I hope you have family and friends as you have to use them even if you feel you don’t want to. Also we are all here and going through the same as you so use this group too. Sending hugs and hoping tomorrow will be just that bit easier than today.
Shona x
2 Likes
Hi Amy, I am so sorry for your loss in such a tragic way, please know I understand the feeling of your loss, I lost my beautiful fiancé in April tragically too he collapsed and died in the street but in no way shape or form am I comparing your loss to mine and I hope you find some comfort here voicing your thoughts and that you get some peace to help you through this horrendous time in your life xxx
2 Likes
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your partner in such a terrible way. We have many supportive users here who have lost partners to various causes, and I hope it will help even a tiny bit to talk to them.
I’m not aware that we have any other users who’ve lost a partner to murder, but we do have two users called @Lindylou1 and @linzy1980 who have sadly both lost their sons to murder: Is anyone on here lost a child to murder?
my gentle son murdered
There is also an organisation called Support After Murder and Manslaughter, which has a helpline and online support. Find out more: https://www.samm.org.uk/support-for-the-bereaved.php
1 Like
My heart aches after reading this xxx As said by others no amount of disagreements could ever ever be accountable for such a tragic loss. Me and me husband disagreed daily, but I loved him and him me!
God bless you , stay strong n stay safe
1 Like