I lost my husband Steve to brain cancer just three weeks ago. Three weeks from diagnosis to death.
He was my soulmate for 38yrs - we were so close.
Alone, hopeless and feeling like my life has ended with his.
Trying every day to hold on.
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@dietcokegirl84
What a shock for you to hear that diagnosis then to lose him so soon after. You must be feeling as if you don’t know which way is up.
The disbelief is horrendous with a sudden loss and takes some time to finally take in that this is real.
Please post any feelings and worries. We are here for each other very much in the hard process of grieving our loved ones.
Sending love to you,
Karen xxx
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Hi
So sorry for your loss, such early days your head and heart will be all over the place.There are no words.
My husband passed 16 months ago,7 weeks from diagnosis and I had him at home with support from our nurses. Our daughters were 18 and 21, it was horrendous, and I thought I would go mad, but we came through it, well I exist and take one day at a time.
Take care x
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Thank you for your messages.
Life is overwhelming in so many ways. We were originally told Steve had a year to live and we went ahead and bought a puppy that we actually picked up not long after he died and that in itself has been horrendous but it was what he wanted us to have as a family.
Having lost Steve so quickly and coping with the financial and legal issues and having a very demanding puppy in the mix has been relentlessly exhausting.
Will this ever get better … i feel my better half has gone. I’ve gone from a young spirited fun loving youngish woman to an empty emotional exhausted shell in weeks.
I do love the puppy btw and he does get me out of bed in the morning so it is a positive. Just very hard work when I’m trying to navigate through the raw grief.
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Oh yes at the moment you will be all over the place, your future blown into pieces and a future alone.Time doesnt heal, it just kinda softens the pain a bit.
The sorting out of the financials life insurance- pensions- mortgages will drive you mad well it did me.
We had a business so I had to handle the financials on that too on top of all the other things.
Our youngest was due to start uni and move to the halls,she went and thankfully she did.Both our girls have done so well a credit to their dad.
We have 4 dogs I actually got another one to replace one of our old lads who had died,another rescue blind old and Romanian, then another rescue puppy!It helped me focus and gave me a purpose.I hope your puppy helps you too dogs are amazing.
I did return to work which I didn’t think I could ever do but it really helped.I didnt rush back.
There are no clever words, as you will find your feet and move through the stages, ups and downs good and bad days.
X
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Yes im in the middle of a years career break - I took the year off to travel and we’d done a few trips by the time Steve died. Not due back at work till September. Not sure if i want to go back-seems part of my old life and my life with Steve and has no reason to be in my life now. Work is unaware of what has happened.
Hoping the puppy who’s now ten weeks will give me purpose. He’s just v hard work atm and I guess I’d forgotten what the puppy stage was like. Again, I thought Steve would be here to help.
Another Monday morning and I’m wishing my life away. I want to move on, find a new path, build another life and wait for puppy to grow ! Feel very isolated atm.
Aw yeh im so sorry for you ! My husband passed 7 weeks ago actually and i only had 6 weeks from terminal diagnosis to his passing ! Its flipping heartbreaking isnt it ! Your whole life turned upside down within a few weeks !!
Im the same ! Trying to hang on in there … god bless us both ! 
i hope he is helping us
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Oh yes i want a dog / puppy … i really do ! Not easy to sort though !
Today I’ve been in touch with mortgage company and probate people-im there thinking why aren’t they talking to Steve about this. He always dealt with that side … and then realise they are talking about him … in such a cold matter of fact way. I want to shout out to them do you know my heart has been ripped out !!!
I don’t understand it all but just hanging on as there is no other option.
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To deb5
Yes, its horrific.
Steve started getting headaches mid nov. Brushed off as stress of work by doctor. By early Dec he was confused, jumbled up and looked like he’d had a stroke. We went private to get mri scan. Doc still saying nothings wrong and ordered blood tests.
Two days before Christmas mri showed stage 4 brain tumour which was inoperable. He went downhill so quickly and ended up in hospital first week of jan. One night he had a massive brain haemorrhage and was then unconscious. Thankfully we could spend that last day with him at the hospital as a family and then he was gone.
Since then its just been a whirlwind. I feel like a tiny boat letting in water on a choppy sea. Some days its a bit calmer somedays im hanging on for dear life.
Ive lost Steve but ive lost myself and really can’t think of a future. Our future has gone. That life has gone. Im still breathing but not living.
Nearly four weeks since he passed and I just don’t know how I get through the day.
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You are not alone we all know it’s so hard, remember we are here when you need us. Take care xxx
Thank you so much for all your messages. So good to have that support. So many of us in such pain.
I feel sometimes im too hard on myself and expect too much of both myself and all the legal/financial side of things. Nothing seems to move as quick as I would like it to !
I sat down last night and worked out its been less than 700 hrs since Steve died. 700 hours … no wonder im struggling. Seems so few but seems to be forever too.
My daughter and future son in law are coming for the weekend and so looking forward to that. I find weekends so lonely and empty but this weekend will be time to regroup and share the love.
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It’s so hard, I know exactly what you mean. I found it hard when they came to value our home (even though we’d been together 40 years, the tax man wanted his share and our home was included all because we weren’t married, I found that so hard having to let them look/value our home, I wanted to lock them out) I really felt this was a step too far.
This answer was ment for what dietcokegirl said.
Right as you can see I am getting in a muddle (forgive me but I’m sure most have is have been there) It’s reply to probate comments.
As for last comment when Mark was alive we worked together renovating properties and there was never enough hours in the day, we used to say another 6 hours would have been perfect, now it’s the complete opposite. Take care xxx
Yes im luckily able to pay the mortgage off but apparently they still want to value it ? Feels such an intrusion at this time. Its like life is continuing but im not living it. I want to scream do you not know I’ve lost my husband, my best friend and soulmate. Leave me alone.
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So get it my beloved partner died 2.30 am at home monday day had coroner phone me today as gp notes not clear had to go through the whole pancreatic cancer diagnosis , treat ment , time of death etc could hardly talk xx I’m not sure I’m going to get through this even though family and friends here , basically I don’t want to be here with out him xxxx
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Martju
Thank you for your message. Virtual hug for you. Had a cry this afternoon. I have an autistic adult son who lives with me. He’s lost his dad but his thought process is very black and white and he doesn’t really get how wretched i feel. I also hate dumping my emotions on him.
Today I was thinking of when im due to go back to work and all i could remember was how happy i was at work - yes i really like my job - but now I feel its part of my old life. Thats not me now. Am i mad ?
Haven’t cried since Sunday but it just hits me and the tears just don’t stop.
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I feel guilty that im still here. I know so stupid.
Steve was such a lovely guy and a much nicer person than I. He didn’t deserve to die as he did at 56. Just so quick and unexpected.
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I know … you just dont wanna be here without them do you ? I know the feeling … its so cruel ! I find when i cry i cant stop and people are unbelievably rubbish ! I found my own family are the worse at supporting me ! They never been that good at supporting me anyway ! It was my husband who did that and now hes gone … and i feel lik i have got nobody ;(
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