I lost my husband in October last year. In fact on 4th Feb, it’ll be 4 months. I don’t know how I got through Christmas and New year. I guess I was still numb.
But that’s not my current issue. I’m working through all the “normal” things, the guilt, the anger, the sadness, those I expected. What I didn’t expect was a jealousy and complete resentment of everyone I know that actually still has their “someone to go home to”. That came up this week, and honestly it was a complete shock. I didn’t expect to feel that way at all. I guess I’m a way I should have done, but… What do you do when things like that hit you right out of left field? Is this normal? Or rather not normal, nothing about this situation is “normal”. But am I alone in feeling that way?
Not at all, my partner passed away 2 months ago and I already have that jealousy. I also have a bad habit of looking at people and asking myself why are they still here and my partner isn’t - sometimes just a complete stranger walking past on the street can trigger it for me and it’s something I never expected I would do. I’ve even wished for other people to have died instead of him since his death (which I know is horrible)
@Hannah12 This is quite common from comments on threads on this site. I lost my wife in October. Often if I see couples the same age as us walking arm in arm I have to go home to cry as the shock of not having her there and not being able to hold her hits me and triggers physical and emotional pain. Anything that reminds you of the loss seems to release all sorts of emotions you can’t control. It helps to talk about them here as everyone knows what this pain is.
I feel the same way when i see couples i think why my husband what did he ever do to deserve what happened to him i miss him so much and do not think i will ever get use to him not being part of my life any more
Everything you have said (and you @Ellxox)
Not sure on others, but that seems to have grown more recently? - lost my husband November.
I seem to be finder things harder each day x
I would say that sounds perfectly normal for many grieving this kind of loss. I find myself feeling sorry for others who love deeply knowing that one of them is going to go through this one day.
I feel the same way as you do, I lost my husband suddenly in September last year, and you hear other people saying bad things about their partner and you just want to scream at them “at least yours is still with you” everyone handles their own grief in their own ways, most of the time I smile, laugh at things with family but inside I’m lonely, and want my life back.
Hugs to you. X
Omg, yes i totally agree. I hate seeing couples together not even loved up couples, sometimes couples just doing their shopping together or in the car together. I think how much i would love to have that again. And whats really annoying is when theyre having a go at each other. I want to shout at them…you dont know how lucky you are to still have each other, appreciate each other and your time together cos you never know whats around the corner!
I hated Christmas, New year and my first birtday without my gorgeous Bri, but hid myself away from everyone and found this community no one wants to be a member of. But Valentines day seems so much harder again, its everywhere!!
Love and hugs to all x
Lol same here !!
Yes you do wanna hide away ! My brother invited me out with loads of couples at xmas !!! Really !!! I couldnt hsve thought of anything worse after only losing my husband a few weeks before !!!
I just dont think people realise ! Im givibg uo on couples for now its just do annoying !!! People in general are very annoying i find !!!
Thank you all, it’s so nice to know that I’m not being completely irrational in this. I guess there are just so many unknowns with the situation, I have to wonder whether what I’m feeling is “normal”. No, that’s not the right word. Shared. Shared among other people that are going through the same thing I guess.
How I agree with you. Feel so guilty when I see older couples together and have thoughts of why me and not them. Selfish I know ( did have 30 years together) but still want longer . Still struggling after 17 months
I also agree with the things you’ve been through, after the loss of my lovely wife, Viv. I’ve done it for nearly 3 years now and for me it does not get better so far. Just coming up to 3rd anniversary of her birthday and later passing… Dreading it! But it is a normal process, jealousy and revenge is natural. I’ve done it by doing online dating. It hasn’t worked for me (in fact disastrous) and now I don’t go there anymore. I take solace in the people I know. So, no, you are not alone in your feelings. Things still hit me everyday that bring back memories.
Yeh i totally agree 
No, you are not alone. I see couples of a similar age to me walking along holding hands and , yes, I am envious. It’s so difficult to get used to being single again after 50 years but in my mind I will always be married to my one and only love. Who am I to give advice but I will say try counselling if it’s offered and keep busy. If you get invited out, go. Time with other people around you will help. 
Too true. My husband died in November and I’ve only just managed to shop for food on my own as I hated to see couples choosing things together. Wasted money on Sainsbury’s deliveries instead. I’ve done it now but can’t wait to get out of the shop.
Yep just go straight in and straight out of shops ! Know that one well! !!! Xxxx
It’s three weeks till the first anniversary of losing my husband and I thought I was doing well! Whatever well is….
All came to ahead in the supermarket on Saturday last week all the valentines goods on display. after visiting the doctor on Monday I have been signed off work until March.
Everyday is a rollercoaster and working through my feelings are going to take time and I’m sure I will never ever get over grief and loss.
We met on Valentines Day and married on Valentines Day a year later. He died in November. Yesterday I found all the cards we had sent each other over the years. I am in pieces and have arranged to stay with a friend next week. We won’t be going near the shops
Hi Sarah. It was a year yesterday since my wife died. It was a difficult day but her sister came to stay with me for a few days and kept me occupied and I do feel slightly better now that anniversary is over.