Loss of my husband

LGBTQ+
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Hi, I lost my husband in October suddenly at home one minute talking the next minute gone. He had a cardiac arrest we were together over 30 years and I just want to be with him. He was my everything

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So sorry :cry: sending love and strength to you, I lost my husband in January very unexpectedly he was texting me then nothing, he too died of heart attack, today Christmas Eve would have been our wedding anniversary :heart: 38 years first anniversary with out him :cry: I just want to say take each day as it comes it’s ok to cry scream rant and feel completely alone and numb it’s part of grief and believe me we are all going through this do what ever you want that helps you cause it’s okay, just remember he’s still with you inside your heart forever and always x

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I hope you will get through today thinking about all your lovely memories you made. I’m getting comfort to know I’m not in this alone as never known pain like this. Take care M

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Thank you x grieving is a pain you can’t describe to anyone it rips your whole body apart the ache in your heart :heart: is enormous It comes in waves, I hope you have family or friends around you take care x

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Hello, I too lost my husband in October after 40 years together after a two year battle with cancer. It’s really hard isn’t it, particularly for us in the community. Hopefully, knowing others who share our loss and understand our loss is as great as everyone’s, will give us all some comfort.

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Hi albayzin, I’m so pleased you have posted one here. I still can’t believe it’s real at the moment just want my Jonathan to walk through the door. Have you got a good family and friends supporting you? Never really thought about grief before we always said we would only part through death. Please message me anytime to chat. Mark

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Hello Mark,
My name is Paul, my husband was Steve. It’s raw isn’t it but thank you for taking the time to reply because we all feel so lonely right now. Unfortunately, due to various circumstances, I find myself quite alone and far from friends so it’s great to hear from you.

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I hope you have support from family and friends where you are. It would be good to share experiences and memories. Paul.

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Im Mark and my husband was Jonathan I would definitely be up for chatting it’s so helpful to find others dealing with such pain I never thought existed. Heading towards 3 months now and I’m still in disbelief. Mark

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Morning Mark, I think I am an hour ahead of you so missed your message last night. I’m so sorry you lost Jonathan so suddenly. That must be a terrible shock to deal with. I suppose for me it wasn’t unexpected as Steve had fought a courageous battle against the cancer for two years. As his carer, I had a purpose while he was ill and it was losing that purpose as well as him which I have found hard. One isn’t quite sure what to do with yourself.
I’m glad I thought about this charity website. Chatting together will certainly help us both I think. Hope you have a good day today.
Paul

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Morning Paul, I’m so pleased we can talk to each other about the passing of our true loves. Mark

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Hi Mark, how’s your day been. It’s been quiet here with rain at last….we desperately need it. Have been thinking about you quite a lot today as it’s that 3 month thing…… it was 3 months for me last week and it was hard but my mood has changed and I now am beginning to remember the good times and not be so angry. I suppose that is the best we can do…… our memories will be with us always and they are private and precious and we will keep them in our hearts. I came across a lovely saying the other day which said; “ you still live in the silence between my thoughts”.
Take care, Paul

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Hi Paul, it’s been a hard today just keep crying and so alone. Need to find things to do in the evenings I find the hardest time off the day. Where are you based? Mark

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I live in Spain. I’m sort of getting used to being alone or at least accepting it. Have you got support where you are?
Keep talking if is helps you through the evenings.

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I do have a good family and friends supporting me. It’s just so different isn’t it without our husbands being beside us to talk.

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My family and friends are supportive but all live in other countries so my support is all “on line” if that makes sense. It is a huge gap when someone is not at your side. I’m forever thinking to myself… oh, I must tell Steve that …or …… he’ll like that. Are you in the UK? If you are retired like me, then the days do seem very long sometimes.

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Hi Paul, yes I’m in the UK. I still talk to Jonathan a lot and I’m 3 or 4 minutes walk from his grave which I go al least twice a day. I’ve gone back to work part time. I’m 49 and Jonathan was 64.

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Evening Mark,
I know what you mean about talking…… I often do too. I’m 73 ( ancient!) and Steve was only 62 and had 41 years together of which 8 years when we were both “retired” so luckier than many.
It’s good that you have part time work…. I wish I had something to do. People suggest charity work and all that…… but really? Take care of yourself and make the most of your friends and family who want to support you. Paul

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Hi albayzin, long time since we chatted how are you feeling my friend? Hope you’re looking after yourself. M

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Hi Mark,
Good to hear from you. How are you doing. I’m ok but very lonely as you might expect. Go for days without speaking to anyone. I’m naturally shy so finding it hard… but getting by.
Are you ok?
Paul