Hi Paul, it’s been a tough week again but we must try hard to carry on. Im sad to hear you’re lonely and don’t speak to anyone. We should maybe exchange numbers I like to talk . Mark
1 Like
Hello everyone,
I just wanted to post a gentle reminder about sharing personal details on the community.
Our terms and conditions ask you not to publish your contact details or identifying information on our site to protect your own privacy and security.
Please remember that this is a public community, so remaining anonymous is the best way to stay safe.
If you’d like to contact another member more privately, you can send them a private message through the site. For more information on how to use private messages, please see our help section.
Take care,
Seaneen
1 Like
I have tried to follow their instructions to send you a private message but can’t even find the first step where is says click on profile pic top right! Had tried to send you my number but the message was deleted. I’ll have another look later…I must be missing something.
Hello @albayzin, if you visit Mark’s profile by clicking this link:
then click, “Private message”, you can send a private message to Mark.
I hope this is helpful
Seaneen
Thank you very much for your help
Hi I lost Mal my partner of 23 years last August and you are so right about the loneliness. After everyone not unreasonably moves on with their lives, the sense of loneliness can be almost crippling sometimes. I’m trying hard to move on but it just feels like I’m existing now not living as we used to. I don’t have any really close gay friends and I think that makes it harder.
1 Like
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss Marchon and I can so relate to that loneliness but also an emptiness inside where I feel I not only lost my husband in February but feel I’ve lost a big part of myself at the same time.
You don’t realise you have almost become one entity. I feel I will have to reinvent myself as well as my life but it seems too much of an effort just now.
I often think that as gay people we are fishing in a much smaller pool when looking to develop long term relationships and so they feel so much more valuable.
I know we always felt so lucky to have found each other all those years ago and when society was so much more judgemental.
We too had no gay friends and our families live at the other end of the country. Other friends have been supportive but I’m not sure if they quite get it.
You have hit the nail on the head there. Fishing in a smaller pool is spot on and just what I’ve been trying to explain to one of my friends who thinks I’ll have no problem moving on and finding someone else. He just doesn’t get it. I guess that is what makes what we had with our partners all the more special.
We were together for 44 years and it was our 10th wedding anniversary last week an awful day when the loneliness felt just crushing. We were such a self contained unit in many ways and although we had good friends and family we didn’t really need anyone else. I just know I will never be able to recreate that closeness and sense of being just one.
You must appreciate every one of those 44 years DRG. I had but 24 with my partner and I cherish every one. As with you, we were ‘a unit’ and my life will never be the same without Mal, I know that but it doesn’t help that overwhelming sense of loneliness I get whenever I come home and shut the front door. We had a great life and always said how lucky we were so you just have to try and remember the good times, the laughs and the fun and try and move on. Don’t know how but I guess it’s just taking it day by day and trying SO hard to remember that he wouldn’t have wanted me to give up and instead to try and enjoy life. I expect that it’s the same with you?
I think that’s a key thing Marchon, to remember what my husband, Graeme, would have wanted for me and indeed what I would have wanted for him if it was the other way round. He would want me to try and pick up the pieces and go on - but going on seems so pointless without him just at the moment although I know it is only 5 months since he died. I have that same empty loneliness feeling when I come back into the house and I only have to see a photo or something of his to trigger the tears. It is so wearing but I guess it’s because we meant so much to each other. By the way don’t say you just had 24 years - I think the duration of a relationship is less important than the content and the depth of your connection which I can tell by your comments was as deep as ours. Take care.
1 Like
You too. Thanks for your comment about the years - you are so right. People were amazed at how much we seemed to fit into our life together, so I have so many memories to look back on. Thanks again, all the very best and do hang in there!