I went to see my husband in the Chapel of Rest yesterday evening. His son and daughter came with me. It was very emotional and the tears flowed. He looked so peaceful and we were pleased that we’d been. The last time we’d seen him was in a hospital bed in a hospital gown so to see him at peace, dressed in his own clothes, although deeply emotional, was strangely comforting and I don’t regret going to see him.
Problem is I wake up this morning in floods of tears again. I know he’s gone and he’s not coming back but my heart says he shouldn’t be lying in a coffin, he should be here with me, going shopping, planning the garden, sharing a joke, sharing meals and I don’t know how to face the future without him. The thought of going on without him fills me with dread. I know he’d want me to be strong and carry on with my life and would probably tell me off, in the nicest possible way, for all these tears, but he’s not here, is he and I love him so much. He was the kindest most understanding man I’ve ever met and he was taken too soon, we weren’t ready. I miss him so much and just don’t know how to cope without him. 
Morning Harriett ,
Life stinks I know how you feel. The last 2 days have been really hard. I really dont know how we are supposed to do this. Like you Gra should still be here sharing all the daily things. I miss him beyond words my heart is broken. I hope one day we feel some peace. Love jo xxx
Hi @Harriet4Bill I think we all have those thoughts about our partners. I know I do. When I’m driving anywhere I think you should be here driving not me. I say out loud “where are you?” I don’t know if that feeling ever goes away but hope it subsides. Thinking of you.x
My husband had a small mobility scooter of late. We used to stick it in the car and go off shopping or to the garden centre. He loved nipping round the garden centre and the thought that I can never go there with him again absolutely creases me up. I don’t want to go anywhere we went together. I am dreading the funeral on Tuesday because I know the church will be full and I don’t want to end up a soggy mess, but guess it’s inevitable. The thoughts of the days and months ahead without him are indescribable. I just can’t see a point to anything anymore. They tell me it gets better. How can it when the person you’ve loved so much just isn’t here anymore.
10 weeks tomorrow my husband died suddenly, in the morning, while we were chatting in bed, after he gave me a feet and back massage. He’d had a busy week. Sunday leading a fellowship service in our small church, Monday preparing his boat for launching, Tuesday the same plus picking me up from my Art group and putting the heavy tables away for us, Wednesday launching his boat, Thursday acting as Verger at the funeral of a young soldier and Friday spending a lovely sunny day with me in Salisbury. Saturday morning he died.
He was an active ‘young’ 70 year old who seemed more like 60, still with his mop of dark hair. Such a huge shock after 45 and a half years of a happy marriage. Its hard to believe that was only 10 weeks ago.
My life has totally changed. There is a huge sadness and emptyness in me. I believe that he has just gone on ahead of us but I still keep asking him ‘Where are you?’
An unpleasant coincidence that 8 weeks ago tomorrow my husband died. He had a cardiac arrest in bed whilst asleep. He was in a coma for 3 weeks and eventually life support was stopped. We had been away for a lovely few days in Salisbury.
He was a fit and healthy 69 year old with no history of heart problems.
I am still reeling with the shock, some days are better than others.
I am so sorry to read your post. I hope you get some comfort from posting here. Although everyone has a different story and different circumstances and at various stages of grief, there is always love and support offered.
Xx
I lost my partner of 38 years very suddenly to a cardiac arrest last year.It’s a terrible shock that I sometimes still can’t believe what happened.I hope you are okay because to suddenly have your world so suddenly changed is awful.
Thank you. Its so hard isn’t it. It does help to know that we are not alone, as it sometimes feels. Dealing with problems that crop up, alone, is so stressful. I get very anxious at times. We have such a lot to learn. I’m so thankful that I have a good neighbour I can go to at any time. I hope you have support too.
Yes it is such a terrible shock. You just can’t get your head around it can you. All of a sudden our lives have been completely changed, in an instant it seems. How can that be? Far too soon. There was so much more life to live together. I never, ever expected this. It is so, so sad.
It is horrible. I don’t have neighbours really, living down a country lane. But I have a son living not far away, he is very supportive, and two handy nephews if I really get stuck. But I don’t like to be a nuisance.
It’s just so lonely when you are used to being with someone 24/7.
I think I am still in shock.
Xx
Yes, it is so lonely. I’m crying for all of us who are in this situation now. We need to cry xx
So very sorry for your loss Lydia.
I understand how much you miss your wonderful husband.
He sounds amazing and obviously lived his life with you to the full.
It is absolutely wonderful when you meet the one I know how that feels.
To live our lives together with that special person is a privilege.
To lose that person is so so hard.
Hopes and future plans just silly little things even taking our dog for a walk mooching round the garden centre gone now and with that
Sickening realisation it is just me now.
I am finding my life so very difficult with out my amazing man it is twelve weeks now and I am reeling.
I hope you get a bit of comfort from the people on here all going through the same thing.
I wish you much love and comfort .
Thinking of you.
Dot I think we all feel the same. I have family and I love them but it’s not the same as being with my beloved husband . Like you, the thought of the future without him is unbearable,
I wake in the morning sick and shaking at the thought of carrying on like this. No peace no joy.
With regard to the paperwork, try tackling one thing at a time. I too hated the thought of getting my husbands name removed from everything so I’ve left it on Netflix and Amazon. I’ve kept all the scraps of paper I’ve found with his writing in and put them in a folder. I’ve kept lots of things that I knew he had been interested in. Still got razor and comb in the bathroom and his headphones on his table,
It’s so hard to find a point in carrying on but others have done before us and we are all in the same boat. Supporting each other we will get by
Just want to say guys…i lost my husband 31st july 2023 he had cancer and was given 6 months he passed away in 7 weeks we had been together for 40 years i was 18 when we met…i never ever thought in those dark days i would feel sunshine but time is a great healer …its awful a d id never want to go back to those early days but step by step slowly things feel a little better …different lonely but it does get more managable the tears that were uncontrollable are less and the deep pain in your heart 
is different …more excepting
Thanks for your word of hope and encouragement @Sunset2023
Gives us all something to aim for in these darker days.
I hope you continue to find your inner strength and share your positivity with
Others who may be a bit more lost. ( myself included)
Xx
Hello every one hope you are all managing to somehow get on with your days.
For myself today it is twelve weeks today since my husband passed away.
I know the weekend is coming up and I approach it with dread.
I feel so sad and miserable and I just can’t help going over and over every thing.
Nothing helps,my dear and special long term friend calls me every single day mainly early evening and we are on the phone for a couple of hours to chat .I look forward to that very much as she knows her self what it is like.I can talk and unburden my self as she has known us both for 43 years
My brother also rings me every day but I don’t think he realises just how awful this is .
He knows my guy has gone and now 12 weeks have passed I think he thinks for me the worst is over.I feel that I am not able to reveal to him just how bad I am feeling and I wouldn’t want to burden him.
Can anyone tell me how to cope with the weekend every weekend what is the best way to
To try and carry on .
Much love to all.
I arnt much good to you i am only 5 weeks tomorrow and life feels like s**t . All i do is cry I feel life is not worth living at the moment. I am told it gets better , heres hoping . Love and hug Jo xxx
It’s twelve weeks tomorrow I lost my wife so I can fully understand what you are going through,like Jo I can’t offer any advice,I try to find things to do,I start and think why bother,just try somehow to keep going.love Ron.
I’m afraid I can’t offer much advice either. It’s coming up 4 weeks since I lost my husband and as many have said, I can’t see any point to anything. Nothing has any meaning anymore. My husband was my life - we did everything together when he retired and I can’t bear the thought of carrying on without him. Tears keep coming by the bucketload and I don’t seen able to stop them. I know we’re all going through this, and it’s proving to be much worse than I ever thought. Where do you turn when the love of your life isn’t there any more
I so related to your post. Everything you said could apply to how I feel. I thought I was alone in dreading going to the supermarket without my partner. Just find myself missing him so terribly. I wish you strength.