Your are not alone yet you are as the love of your life has gone
Every one here can totally and absolutely relate to how you feel.
I know people who have not lost their partner well meaning I know tell you it gets better easier and in time you will be ok.
My answer is how can it ever ever be easier.
How am I to get through each day.
I did think I was the only one who felt this level of grief and since reading all the posts I know I am not alone on that respect.
I go out with my little cocker spaniel who is my best pal and she is also missing her dad
I meet neighbours on the way and they ask how I am.I tell them Iam ok.
I simply could not start to tell them how it really is they don’t really know me that well.
I get home and cry.
I hope you are managing at the supermarket and I am thinking of you.
I wish you comfort. Dol
Firstly I know the pain your in, it is four & half years since my hubby left me suddenly, what can I tell you, it does get easier I promise, at the moment in the first few months it’s all raw the feelings of loss, and you feel alone, vulnerable and if the truth be told you would rather be dead than alive, but life goes on and time stands still for no one, take your time as you need to build back you and who you are as a person, a new you with strong foundations so you don’t keep crumbling, you need to eat, sleep, and keep busy, as sometimes we ourselves make the situation worse in our heads by letting too much play out in our minds, best advise find somewhere new to go, to get a change of scenery it helps and when the house is quite put on music or tv too fill the void take away the emptiness
I know your advice is good and I should take note but at the moment I can hardly bring myself to do anything. It’s only 4 weeks since I lost my husband and the thought of going anywhere without him is just too painful. He loved his music so I can’t even even play CD’s because he’s not here to share them. I must sound totally useless but that’s just how I feel.
It will, I’m sure, get easier and you give me hope that things will start to feel better at some point. Your advice is good and in time I’ll not be crying so much nor feeling so alone. It’s just such a struggle but you are so right - your mind keeps taking you back to when you had someone’s hand to hold and I must stop thinking too much and keep busy. I know you must have been through tough times too to be able to give such sage advice so thank you for passing it on to give us all support. I am truly sorry for your loss which must still be very hard and I’m sure you will still have tearful moments especially at important dates. My partner’s recent loss is still very raw and I’m unable to look at photos of happy times without crying. My husband’s death 12 years ago has never left me and I still think of him every day but I can look at memories with a smile now. So dealing with the journey of grief is something that must be the hardest journey we take.
Your not useless your grieving, your heart it hurt & you feel like your left arm is cut off, you don’t want to go out, and sorting out affairs takes it out of you, play music but new music not memory music, it helps a great deal, the music you shared together you will play again but at the moment it hurts to much, trust me please it’s one day at a time, I’m four & half years down the road now, & I still miss him every day, we celebrated 35 years a month before he was taken, you will pick yourself up and get stronger but I’m afraid it takes time especially if you were in love
Hi hun my partner was my life we did everything together, soul mates, when he passed I didn’t want to go out, do anything, I went into myself, and I took it one day at a time, we do the most damage to ourselves by letting things play over & over in our minds, get yourself a hobby, and get yourself into something new, for peace of mind. Life won’t always be this way promise 
Hi.I am in the same situation.We would have been married 41 yrs nxt week.My husband died very suddenly 2 weeks ago today.It’s so hard.I feel for you too.I’m hoping it gets easier but right now it’s agony.
I’m so sorry to hear of your recent loss Jamfaz. It’s difficult to remember happy times when we smiled and laughed. Going back out and finding the last time you were there with your loved one is so hard. I can’t even cook things without thinking how we used to share meals. I know it will get better but it’s hard to imagine at this time. Keeping busy and meeting friends or walking the dog is helpful. I wish you strength and my thoughts are with you x
Thank you for your kind words.We had had a holiday to Greece and only been back 3 days when he passed away.We had a fantastic time and I am grateful for that.
You do not sound useless.
You are grieving and in shock.
Your brain is struggling to process what has happened.
I think many of us have eaten what is quick and easy or near to hand.
I know I did and still do
There are many different ways people will try to deal with the silence, music, a radio station that is people talking or perhaps the tv.
When I first went out for shopping, I went to a shop we didn’t usually use.
It wasn’t easy but shopping somewhere that didn’t hold memories did help a bit.
Do you have friends or family, I read you have step children, who would go with you?
Also, you know you will get understanding here.
Take care and big hug,
Rose xx
Thank you Dot. It just feels so lonely thinking you are the only one feeling this way. Your little dog will be a comfort to you and the house won’t feel so empty. I have some ok days and some days bad but the yearning never leaves me. I hope you find solace from the messages of support.
Hello Dol1
I lost my husband in June only 5 weeks ago today. My emotions are raw and I crumble very easily. I also talk to him at home and find eating alone so lonely. I can’t sit at the dining table. I have my ‘supermarket meals for one’ on my lap watching TV. I say watching TV but mean staring at the screen. I find puzzles help to occupy my mind for a short time. Grief is horrendous. I find talking about it and writing about it helps . I’m still trying to make sense of why I was so emotional after the council came to collect his disability equipment. Sobbing about a hospital bed, a commode, a swivel bath chair plus other things. I’m guessing I was so upset because they were very personal things that I as his carer helped him with. The reason I mentioned those things is because nothing is normal at the moment.
xxx
The sun is shining and I’m sat here in floods of tears because my husband isn’t here with me. He passed away almost 4 weeks ago and I just can’t stand this heartbreak. I know I’ve posted on here before and am in danger of repeating myself but I just don’t know where to turn. He’s being taken into the Church tomorrow evening to rest until the funeral on Tuesday. I am told it’s going to be standing room only on Tuesday and I just don’t know how I’m going to cope with it. He was my world, I love him so much and I don’t know how to go on without him. 
How can it get better when the person you love, who was your life, who you did everything with is no longer there. Everything is hopeless.
This is so hard I am so sorry.
I hope you have people to support you.
I, and others, totally understand.
I also wondered how I would get through the funeral.
I took a diazepam a while before the funeral.
I know that is not the way for everyone.
Don’t worry if you cry, no one will be surprised.
Sending a very big hug,
Rose xx
Don’t worry about repeating yourself, we all know what you are going through, and we don’t mind how often you do it.
I wish I could answer your questions on how to carry on, but I can’t.
Having been widowed twice, (and now I am repeating myself), I can tell you that all you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again.
The agony diminishes very slowly, so slowly that you don’t even notice feeling slightly less desolate.
All you can do is hang on in there. It’s 8 weeks since my second husband died and I am hanging on by my fingertips. I sometimes think I am going to fail but the lovely people here cheer each other on. So, keep posting.
Sending you a big hug. Xx
Hi.I am the same just two weeks ago for me.I am dreading the funeral.His work are putting coaches on for people to attend.it’s overwhelming.My heart goes out to you and I know exactly how you are feeling.
Four weeks on Tuesday for me. We have had the funeral and today (Sunday) two of my girls who were staying with me are on their way back to Heathrow and the States.
My flat is empty the silence is deafening. I talk to my husband all the time but he is not answering me.
I took all the cards down today and a beautiful photo I have of his hand holding one of two hearts - the hospital gave us a pair, one each, when he passed. I have put it in the bedroom for when I say goodnight to him.
No idea how I am going to get through the next few weeks and beyond but I know my dear Dave would want me to be strong and find a way.
Thank you for listening.
I am sure Dave is answering you,my wife had a touch of ocd,something simple like I replaced a toilet roll in the bathroom,walked back into the living room and clearly heard in my head “turn it round”there have been other occasions too,hope he gets through.
Hello sheshe
I could have written your comments myself I am so sorry I as I know exactly what you are going through.
I too don’t sit at our table any more I have a supermarket microwave meal on a tray when I actually can be bothered to eat.
I look in the wash basket and there are no clothes to wash for him.
Had to sell his lovely new jeep and saw it drive off but he wasn’t in it. I just broke down as I will never be out in our car together again.
Just this week I too had all his disability aids collected.Such a lot toilet frame , zimmer frame,
Walker,shower stool and other things so helpful
and grateful to have had them.
So difficult to watch them go and just cried and cried.
Like I was wiping him from our lovely life.
I have had tons of phone calls to make. Very stressful and I can barely keep it together.
Bank accounts to delete him from.
I am glad this is me and not him as I know he wouldn’t cope with out me.
To know other people are having to endure this also is heart breaking.
I wish you and every one else comfort.
Thank you Dol1. Like you I am glad he wasn’t the one left behind. He would not have coped .I can just about handle the paperwork it’s the practical things I find the most difficult. I don’t want to dispose of his belongings. I feel as though I am betraying him if I throw something away. It was a relief to know how upset you were when his disability aids were taken away. I thought I had truly lost the plot when I cried over a commode plus a lot of other things being taken away. We, sorry (can’t get used to be a singular person) I have a salt lamp and he used to say it was like a light at the end of a tunnel when we had a crisis. Its turned on a lot at the moment. Hopefully we will get through this tunnel of despair. Sending cyber hugs xx