Hello, I am in the same boat, married for 30 years, dating for 10 before that.
It is so hard, lost my soul mate 2 months and 4 days ago.
Miss him so very much.
I am assured that things will get easier find it hard to believe.
I have no other family.
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Hi Harriet4Bill no, nothing is wrong with you, the more posts I read the more I realise how so many of us post almost identical experiences or situations, my wife and I would watch some tv in the afternoon and again after the evening meal, she also sat doing Sudoku or other puzzles, I watched the telly.
Bereavement messes with our head, normal thinking goes out of the window, why did I initially become a bit obsessive with cleaning? the house was always clean ( to be honest, my wife did most of it) but I was trying to take it to a new, unnecessary level, I do wonder about my thought process’s over the last 4 months, don’t beat yourself up about these things, just go with the flow, our brains are trying to understand, get to grips and accept the most awful trauma that most of us will ever face.
Take care.
Hi Jo Jo welcome to the club nobody wants to be in,the lovely people on this site will over you love and support,keep posting your thoughts it helps,sending you strength.Ron.
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I lost my husband Philip 11 weeks ago he was given 3-6 months but died within 2 months. We talked about how I would cope after and I thought I would be prepared but nothing can prepare you I feel so lost and lonely I get this awful feeling inside me like I’m caving in. People say you’ve got your children and grandchildren but I still feel like this if they are here. I feel guilty cos the grandchildren don’t make me happy I just want life back to how it was . I don’t want to just sit and cry
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Hello
So sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband.
I also lost my wonderful husband 12 weeks ago
He was and is still the love of my life
Married 40 years and going out for three.
How can any one who truly loved and adored
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Hi Lilly278 I am so sorry for the loss of your husband, everybody on the forum are here because they are going through the same anguish, their words of comfort, sympathy and even advice come from a real understanding, we are all going through it. Don’t be afraid to get anything of your chest, writing it down does help, you won’t be judged just understood, don’t try to suppress your sorrow and pain, all it will do is build up, I find it best just to go with it.
Yes, you have your children and grand children, sadly even they cannot solve it for you, unfortunately people who make comments like this think they are helping but are doing so from a position of having no idea what you are going through, it’s a common problem.
take care and try to be kind to yourself.
Hello jojo
Missed of some of my post.
How can anyone who absolutely loved and adored their partner not be absolutely devastated at their passing.
How can anyone ever continue to go on.
I want what I had and not what I have now got.
I just hope we can all of us find some sort of peace eventually.
Wishing you some comfort.xx
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Hello lily
So very sorry to hear about your husband Phillip.
Life is truly terrible without the love of your life.
You still have your children and grandchildren
and you say it doesn’t help.
If I have learned anything over the last twelve
Weeks it is make sure you grab onto and hold
those people who mean the most.we never know what is around the corner.
I don’t have children and a small family a wonderful brother and a few very dear friends.
They do try their best but really they have no idea of what my life and my future which looks so very bleak is.
I offer you my support and comfort.xx
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I do love my family but it’s the every day chit chat the quietness of the house thinking of all the things we had planned that consumes me I feel like I can’t breathe
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Hello swift
After reading some post I was amazed to find out the things we all did.
I thought it was just me and my wonderful Sam
Sitting in the conservatory in the morning
chatting over coffee mainly me as Sam called me his little chatter box.
Then watching some Tv mainly him glued to the news or politics.
Me doing some baking him doing the eating.
The pair of us in garden then evening meal
Then more Tv and watching quizzes.
I will never do those things again and I don’t want to with out him.
I didn’t realise those every day insignificant things would mean so much .
The knowledge those things are gone is agony
and nothing helps.
When I look around at our home and garden and I know he will never see them again is so very hard to bare.
I hope one day for myself and everyone on this site can find some peace.
Wishing comfort to all.
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Hi Dol 1 I really hope we can all find some peace and comfort with our new situations.
I would love my old life back xxxĺ
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Lily I know what you mean I talk to myself now
and I talk to my husband sounds bonkers I know.
We had lots of things planned ,trips out ,new plans for the garden.
It Will never happen now, like you I ache all over.
My husband Sam always used to say never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.He was always proactive and positive and he was right.
Wishing you comfort xx
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I also talk to myself a lot. And to the plants in the garden! I also procrastinate, which Neil would never have approved of. I don’t know what has happened to the person I used to be.
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I went out for lunch yesterday with my brother and his wife and my stepson and his son. All went well until the subject of holidays came up. My brother was talking about his latest holiday in Cyprus and encouraging my stepson to look at going with his family. My brother lives in Lincolnshire which is where my husband came from. My stepson was saying how much he’d like to go back and revisit the places he remembered as a child. I know they didn’t realise the effect all this was having on me but I’m sitting there thinking - excuse me, am I here - I’d love to go and see where my husband was born and places he’d visited (we’d had holidays, obviously, but never to where he came from). I can’t do anything or go anywhere now with my husband because he’s not here. Tears flowed when I got back home as they have again this morning. I feel like my life has nowhere to go. I don’t want to go out, I can’t do any gardening because we had plans for it and now he’s not here to see it. I can’t even go and sit in the garden - too painful.
I know I’m repeating myself but he was everything to me, my world, my life. We did everything together. I loved him with every ounce of my being and just can’t see any future without him. 
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I am so sorry.
I have read your posts and totally understand.
The pain and everything else is so overwhelming and very familiar to those in this awful club.
You got through the funeral you dreaded.
You did it!
The time after the funeral is a very difficult one.
We understand.
You are doing absolutely the right thing sharing how you feel on here.
I think it was a strong thing to do to go out to lunch yesterday.
Sadly, people talk about things, without thinking. I had that recently and had the same thought as you.
We are all here for you and recognise how you are feeling.
Sending a very big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
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Hi Harriet,I can relate to what your saying,just finished some chores,I keep the house spick and span,washing and ironing,tidy the garden,then I sit down for a coffee and think why bother,hardly anyone comes round,I hardly get seen,it must be just pride.
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I think we carry on so we don’t let ourselves go. Our husbands wouldn’t want us to give up and not bother.
No matter how easy that would be
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My husband also died almost 11 weeks ago. Such a short time but it seems much longer. Adjusting to the reality that he is no longer here, after over 45 years of marriage is so, so painful. How can he no longer be here…he has truly been ‘my other half’ for most of my life. I have been so proud to be the wife of a good, generous, intelligent, knowledgeable, faithfull, funny, capable, humble, pro active man. He was busy and active up until the morning he died. There were no warning signs. It just came out of the blue. I, along with so many others posting here, am heartbroken.
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Just 4 weeks since my wonderful husband left me. I was sorting out his pensions yesterday and also fixing the tariff for the energy company. When I’d finished my first thought was - I must go and tell him what I’ve done. Then reality hit - I couldn’t tell him, could I. Floods of tears and once again that awful feeling of hopelessness, of not wanting to go on - what’s the point
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Hi.Three weeks for me.I know exactly how you feel.So hard.x
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