I too, have ready meals on a tray in front of the TV. My husband loved to cook and was always looking for new and interesting recipes. Consequently my freezer is full of the items he had planned to use and now he won’t and I just can’t. I just feel like my world has come to an end.
I have a new firepit sitting in the summerhouse which he was so looking forward to using - now it will sit there forever because there’s no way I can use it without him. I just can’t, I don’t want to 
I just feel so overwhelmed. The tears won’t stop no matter how hard I try. He was so kind, so understanding, so loving and he loved people. Being a retired Vicar helping people was part of his vocation and it carried on into retirement. I know he’d want me to be strong but nothing can describe how much I miss him and his lovely smile. I just feel like I’m drowning.
Hello Harriet. Grief is cruel it’s exhausting and prevents you sleeping so its not surprising you feel like you are drowning. Your message shows what a wonderful man your husband was. One day you will be able to sit by that firepit and eat one of the meals he cooked, smile and say thank you out loud. It’s delicious. Keep heart stay strong as he wanted you to and enjoy the memories. Cyber hugs xx
My husband would cook and also cook with me.
Certain things bring back memories and tears.
With the freezer, I have tubs he labelled and tubs of things for 2.
More tears.
There are so many parts of our lives that does this.
Big hugs everyone xxx
Hello Harriet
When I saw your comments about your freezer I could and did have a little cry.
Mine is also packed with lovely things we meant to eat together a leg of lamb for his birthday in April and a massive whole stuffed sea bass he brought in with much laughter his other favourite prawns and scallops.
I can’t even look at them and how and what is the point of just me.
I am, was the baker as I don’t do it now.
His requests for cheese scones and corned beef pie I will never hear again.
He used to say you would think a bomb had dropped in the kitchen and go and cheerfully clean it all up, while scoffing warm scones.
To never hear or see those mundane requests again is now as I am fully understanding he is actually gone is just too hard to bare.
I never knew those small things would mean so much.
I am glad I made the effort and he got so much enjoyment he would say they are delicious.
Lots of comfort and hugs to everyone
Big hug for you xx
My husband gave me to 10 happiest years of my life. This evening he will be taken into the Church to rest overnight before his funeral tomorrow. I think these two days are going to be the worst days of my life. I really don’t know how I am going to get through it. It just feels like the end of my world. I want to be strong and not end up in a soggy mess in front of everyone, but I don’t know how to stop the tears from flowing.
He was my life, my whole world. I love him so much and I don’t know how to go on without him. I can’t see the point to anything. Nothing has any meaning for me. I am led to believe it gets better - I don’t know how. He’s gone, he’s not coming back. How can being without the love of my life for the next x number of years get better. I am totally heartbroken
I am so sorry.
There are many, many people on this site who totally understand how you are feeling.
Will anybody be with you today?
I hope so.
If not can you during the day talk to friends and family, if you feel you can?
There will be someone on here I am sure.
Somehow we got through the funeral, with or without crying.
Friends, family and those at the funeral understand how you are feeling.
Today and tomorrow take it step by step. It can be hour by hour.
Sending you a very big hug.
Love,
Rose xx
Hi Harriet there’s no need to be strong,you have lost the love of your life and are fully entitled to be a soggy mess if you want to,I know I was an utter mess at my wife’s funeral,you have more than enough on your plate to worry about without concerning yourself with other people,the very best for today and especially tomorrow.Ron
Thinking of you xx
Thank you very much having a bad few day xx
Harriet I cried with you on your post.
I sincerely and lovingly hope you managed to get through the funeral of your wonderful husband.
I know you were dreading it.
Like you I can’t get myself to understand how I or anyone can’t go forward with our lives so shattered.
Life is here but not the one we all want.
Friends tell me it will get easier a different life.
I send you all my heart felt wishes xx
Thank you Dol1 for your kind message… Yes, I got through the funeral and I think we did my husband proud. Everyone said what a lovely Service it was.
We had a short service at the crematorium following the church service and that was the hardest. Having to walk out and leave him there. At that point I lost it, as did his son and daughter.
Everyone talks about this “new life”. I don’t want a new life, I loved the one I had. I know I can’t have that back but just wish people would try and understand how we feel. We’ve lost that wonderful, special person who meant the world to us and we cannot just move on. I held back the tears for most of the day but now the family has gone home I sit here on my own and I’m afraid the tears have come. Never to see my husband again is heartbreaking and the thought of having to carry on without him is beyond words.
Hi @Harriet4Bill, you describe so well how many of us on here feel. Being expected to ‘move on to a new life ‘ and adapt to losing our beloved is just simply ridiculous.
We don’t want to move on, but somehow we have to find the strength to keep going even when we don’t want to without them.
I’m glad ( if that’s the right word ) the funeral went as well as it could , but sadly it’s just the start of the next phase of our grieving journey.
I’ve come away today with my daughter for a walking holiday, but we both feel awful as my husband / her dad isn’t here as he should be. His memory is in my head constantly and I whilst I long for him to be back with us, I also long to have some relief from the constant sadness and pain.
In time hopefully we will all start to heal.
Sending some strength and hugs xx
Just counting the donations received in memory of my husband. I suddenly thought I have to tell him and just as suddenly knew if he had still been here there would be no need for donations.
Tears - AGAIN - do they ever stop.
He was a retired vicar and had often wondered how people really thought of him and I know he sometimes had doubts about the past. If only he could read the comments on so many of the lovely cards I’ve received he’d realise he was loved and respected by so many people and it makes me so sad to think he wasn’t certain of the impression he’d made. 
Which brings back the tears yet again.
Hi roni52, it’s now 4 months since the sudden and unexpected death of my wife and I have found a little comfort in rewriting things to suite my feelings, one of them is this business of “moving on” as you say we don’t want to move on, it gives the impression of leaving behind the thing you are moving on from, I look at it as moving forward taking my wife with me although not here, I am not moving on to a “new life” I am continuing my life with changes, there are always changes in life and we have to adapt to them, so hard in this case. I also try to redefine grief, it has always been a word interpreted as immense pain, it is but the pain is alongside the grief, to me grief is the continuation of the love I had for my wife, that will not change so grief will always be part of my life, the pain that lives along side grief, that’s the bit that can and will change, i find the intensity of the pain, the raw, constant, sometimes overwhelming pain is now changing almost imperceptibly as I learn to cope and adapt but the grief/love is still there.
My tuppence worth! take care, you will adapt and cope but always love
Hi @Harriet4Bill thanks for responding. I’m glad that you managed the funeral and everything went well. It’s so hard having to face that final farewell. It’s two and a half years since my husband died and although I carry on it’s just not the same. I don’t cry everyday now but the missing him has not eased. My heart aches for him daily. I miss his funny jokes, well I miss everything. Well I said I don’t cry everyday but just putting down these words has brought on the tears again. We just have to keep going I suppose but it’s no fun. You take care.X
Just been out for a lovely lunch with some of the family but still felt totally on my own - does that make sense. Four weeks now since I lost my husband, my world, my everything
I feel so angry that he’s not here. I’m not angry with him, he didn’t get a choice. I just feel angry with everything around me. I feel angry because no matter what I do it won’t change anything. What is the point of carrying on. Nothing matters any more. Nothing ‘s important. Life has no meaning for me any more. We did everything together and I’m sitting looking at some lovely garden ornaments he bought which we were waiting for the better weather to put out. Now he’s not going to see them and I don’t want to put them out. They’ll probably end up in the loft. It’s no use people saying to me it’ ll get better because I know I’ll never stop missing him.
You have put my feelings down exactly,I am getting physical aches and pains and don’t know whether they are real or psychosomatic quite frankly don’t care.sending you hope. Ron.
Can someone answer a question. My husband passed away 4 weeks ago. Before that he would sit and watch some TV in an afternoon and then again after our evening meal. I sat next to him and sometimes watched the TV or more often than not did some sudoku or other puzzles or maybe read. Now I can’t settle to do any of these. I can watch tv but can’t do the puzzles or read. What is wrong with me.
You are in shock.
You are grieving.
Your mind is also trying to make sense of what has happened.
Rose xx