Oh @Poll6
It’s such early days for you.
I won’t try and say the pain and heartbreak ever go away, but it does get easier to bear as time goes on.
I’m 5 months into this journey now and while I still cry every day I am learning to cope.
Hopefully one day I’ll come to fully accept it and start to move forward.
And so will you, but it takes time, I can’t say how much time, we are all different.
So cry as much as you want, scream and rant if you want. You will get through this.
As you said when 2 people love each other so deeply one is going to be heartbroken in the end.
Thank you so much Liz for your encouraging words. Today is particularly bad as it would have been my husband’s birthday. I hope you continue to feel stronger every day.
Love
Polly x
Just collected Alans ashes, I bought a beautiful urn.
I am sure he would approve.
I chatted to him on the drive home, I find it a great comfort to have him back, where he belongs with me.
Hi Lilly I am so so sorry for the loss of Phillip.
He sounds lovely.
He was obviously was concerned about you and knew a dog would be a comfort to you .
I have my little cocker spaniel and she certainly gets me out.She doesn’t stop crying and whinging until I get her lead and off we go.
Once out I am so pleased as she doesn’t ask for much just company and love a bit like me really.
Neighbours stop and say hello and I ask how I am.
I tell them I am ok.
My little dog really misses her dad and looks around the house she can’t understand why he is not here and probably wonders if he will be coming back…
He is not.
He can’t ever tell me things will be ok or grumble about stupid little things He is not there at the drop of a hat when something needs fixing.I can’t do those sort of things.
He was so handy and proud of his skills and I was
also so proud.Now I feel so terribly alone and lost.
I came back from the dentist today and there were no soothing words before I went.
However when I opened my front door the welcome and hysterical barking and absolute love I got from my dog brought me to tears
She missed me so much.
I know how she feels.
I M so pleased you have a companion they are wonderful and love us unconditionally.
I hope you can find some comfort.
Oh I know how you feel Dol1 he snuggles in with me especially when I’m upset Philip really was thinking of me he got my daughter to buy me a thick warm dressing gown to keep me warm after he had gone.
I know we all have our lovely memories but sometimes it’s hard for us these emotions wear you out. X
I am so very sorry for your loss. I’m hoping to find some comfort here like you. My husband died just over three weeks ago after 55 years together and I feel like you and everyone whose posts I’ve read. I’m drawing strength from the advice I’m reading and hopefully you will too. I’m thinking of you. X
Hello Frankie
I am very sorry for your recent loss .after many years together it is horrendous to find the love of your life gone.
I lost my wonderful husband 13 weeks ago
I never thought he would die or I would ever be on my own,silly I know but prospect of it was
Unimaginable.
Now it is here it is hard to bare.43 three years we had together and I just can’t believe he is actually gone.
Nothing helps I have phone calls every day and some visits and texts .
I take my little dog out every day she is my faithful constant friend and we love each other.
It does help to look at the posts on here.
I thought I was the only one .
to find out all these lovely people on here are going through all of this is truly terrible.
I just hope you can get some comfort and I am thinking of you.
I read all the texts on here. I know we’re all in the same boat. Trouble is it doesn’t stop the tears from flowing. It doesn’t hide the fact that I’m sitting here on my own. My stepson and stepdaughter have their families to support them and get them through. Don’t get me wrong, they have been supportive but they seem to have forgotten that I am now on my own, because their dad, the one I loved with every ounce of my being is not here anymore. But hey, they say I’m doing well - if only they knew.
Harriet my heart breaks for you, I’m a lot longer on my journey, even though I have three children I still felt very alone, like you I hid it , cried in the shower, or at night when the house was quite, inside I was really suicidal , just wanted my Ian , love of my life, 35 years we were together, until your step children live in our our shoes they have no comprehension of what we’re going threw, death of a father is not the same as your partner , as you said they have partners to support them, and were left alone, but also because we hide the pain we do so much damage to our minds and in the end what we do ourselves can cause more damage. Have you got any friends to confide in ? Or your own family members to help ? My solace came in the shape of an old friend from a different country who rang me every morning to make sure I got through the night, I hope better days come for you and you find your own solace in life
Just had a text from my stepdaughter. She says “morning looks like being another nice day”. I know she’s talking about the weather and I know she means well, but how can it be another nice day. I’m sitting here, on my own, in floods of tears. I can’t go and sit in the garden because my husband isn’t with me, to chat to and make plans with.
My stepdaughter lost her husband many years ago but she wasn’t left on her own. She had two children to care for and her mum and dad were there for her. She has since remarried.
My stepson has never been on his own. He married after university and has a lovely family. I know he’s lost his dad and is naturally upset and has been supportive but he has no idea of how I’m feeling. He’s no idea of what it’s like to be left on your own when all your plans, hopes and dreams have gone. Everyone says “you have your memories”. Yes, that’s true, but you can’t talk to a memory, you can’t hug a memory, you can’t fulfil plans with a memory. I know I’m repeating myself, for which I apologise, but my husband of almost 10 years was my life. We did everything together, we looked after each other and were so happy together. I loved him more than any words can say. I just can’t stand the thought of being without him for the next however many years
So sorry that you are having such a hard day. You are not on your own. We are all here for you.
It’s hard to see any possibility of any kind of life without our partners, especially in the early days. But what choice do we have, short of the unthinkable, we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other for now in the hope that the pain will subside.
It will get better, it has to. Million’s have gone before us that say it gets better.
Xx
I try to focus on what many people say about things getting better, although never forgotten, over time. My husbands funeral will be at the end of August and I am dreading it. I am told there is some closure but can’t imagine it. Has anyone else found some solace during or after a funeral.
There is a relative who keeps in touch and means well but really doesn’t understand.
Communication from them mainly consists of the two of them (married couple) going shopping, having barbecues, meals with others including going out to restaurants with other relatives and holidays.
I think part of it is not knowing what to talk about.
However, It upsets me as they are doing what I so long I could do,
enjoy everyday life with my husband.
Somehow, they do not to seem to grasp that it just emphasises the loss and how my life has changed.
I’m so sorry you’re having such a bad day
But I do know how you feel
People are so insensitive because they don’t understand the incredible pain we feel.
They think they need to cheer us up, when all they need to do is listen.
