I know how you feel.
I too was dreading the funeral, I think we all do.
It turned out to be the most wonderful day. So many people came to show their love and respect. I was so proud of him
Unfortunately next day was bad, it felt as if I was back to the start. As if I’d just lost him
But as the weeks go by you will find you are starting to cope.
You will have tears, lots of them. I still do
You will have days where you don’t know how you are going to get through but you will
Then one day you will realise you are starting to cope
You will never ‘get over it’ but it will get easier to bear.
Here on this forum we all understand and will be with you every step of the way
Thank you so much for your supportive comments. It is so helpful to share feelings with someone who understands. This is a wonderful site and must help so many people. I take comfort from your words and will try to see the funeral in a different way. I know that afterwards, the warm feelings from everyone will stay and comfort but as you say, afterwards is hard.
I lost my husband 8 days ago. We have a 13 yr old daughter. He died suddenly. We didnt get to say goodbye. He was from new zealand and i am irish so its feels a bit isolating here in the uk. The feelings of loss and hopelessness are so overwhelming. I feel panicky. I am trying to take it one day at a time, but it’s hard for my mind not to project ahead. I miss him so much. There is a physical pain in my heart. I dont know what to do with myself
Such early days for you. All you are feeling is normal. You are still in shock and that panicky feeling and pain in your heart is normal too.
Easier said than done, but just take it an hour at a time. Eat and sleep if you can.
I lost my husband suddenly 9 weeks ago and I also have a daughter. It is difficult to help her with her distress, but she is the reason I got up in the mornings and made meals.
Keep posting and reading here. It has been a real life-line for me.
Everyone understands.
Xx
I am so sorry for your loss - it sounds like it was so sudden and such a shock.
I also have kids and my youngest is 16 so I completely understand your concerns in respect to her.
Just take each hour or day at a time. Try not to think about the future ahead if you can help it. It will seem too bleak to cope with at the moment.
Just try and get some rest when you can, eat even if you don’t feel like it so you keep your strength up, and just be there with your daughter.
You can support each other as you try to manage these first few weeks and please lean on any others you have for support and accept all offers of help.
Keep posting here if it helps - you are not alone and there is lots of support and listening ears here for you.
Sending some strength for you both xx
hello i lost my husband in may we had been married for 47 years and i was dreading the funeral but as a family we gave davy the best send of we could my son had asked if it would be possible to get everybody at Davys funeral to stand and have a round of applause which we thought okay and it meant everybody could clap for davy who was just a good guy my daughter did a lovely reading which had its funny bits as my husband had a great sense of humour so we look back and hope we did him proud which yes i know we did so that has helped a little
So good to hear that your funeral went much better than expected and that it gave you and your family some comfort. I have my husbands funeral coming up in a few weeks and am also dreading it. Being so careful with the music as that can set me off so easily.
Polly x
Hello gmc
So so very sorry for the loss of your husband.
Such a terrible shock.
Reading your posts I understand what you are going through.
I hope you managed to get some sleep and that you and your daughter can get through another
day as everyone says one day at a time hard I know
Thinking of you both xx
Your situation is so like mine. My husband died nearly 4 weeks ago and we also had a routine where he did soduko while I multi tasked. I can’t even concentrate on TV now except for wall to wall news items. I am trying to volunteer but can’t find anything, the loneliness is terrible.
Poll6 - I can watch tv but can’t do sudoku or read - just can’t concentrate - the silence is deafening. I have thought of doing some volunteer work but couldn’t bear the thought of having to come into the house and having no-one to tell what I’d been doing.
At the moment I have no purpose. I feel like I could sit and cry all day but guess that wouldn’t do me any good. I wouldn’t get anything done - not that I can see much point in doing anything. I don’t know about you, but I just feel totally empty. Let’s hope there is some light at the end of the tunnel - but it seems an extraordinary long, dark tunnel at the moment.
Sending you love and hugs
I absolutely agree but I have radios on everywhere and can’t stand silence. I know what you mean about crying all day but with no distractions on a day, I find that everything upsets me. Yes, I feel empty too and searching for that elusive light. Perhaps it will come with time and yes, a dark tunnel sums it up. I go out with family now and then and that cheers me up until they leave and then… I am desperately trying to find a form of volunteering that suits me but can’t. That adds to the trap I feel that I am in. I really hope we both feel better as time goes on.
Sending love and hugs back xx
Hello gmc
I hope you and your daughter are managing to get some rest.
Getting through another day is hard enough without being mentally and physically exhausted.
Thinking of you x
Hello poll
I am like you and probably all of us on here.
We loved our Tv and settled down to watch our favourites.
I liked the chase trying to get the questions right and we both watched endless episodes of four in a bed.emmerdale and corrie
My husband loved all the politics.
I just can’t watch any of that now and 24 hours news is on all day.
I can see our lovely garden going down hill as I can’t summon up the energy for the endless watering and weeding.
He would hate it and I feel as if I am letting him down and just another part of him is going away.
So sorry xx
My husband loved to watch Death in Paradise. We watched all the episodes many times - starting with the first series and continuing. I’m not sure I’ll be able to watch it when it starts again.
Our garden is also suffering. I can’t bring myself to do much simply because we had plans for it and I just can’t carry them out because he’s not here.
Sitting outside is also a big no no.
