I hope you’re right @VictoriaB1 because I don’t feel that my mum is with me. I feel all alone 
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I feel that too… as much as I want to believe she is around me, I don’t know…it doesn’t feel like it. It does feel lonely… today particularly is just a sinking feeling, stabbing to the heart and chest. I just can’t be bothered to do anything
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@Anna_321 @Sienna1
Honestly, I could quite easily drop to lower than a snakes belly, but I have asked myself so many times today, would my mum want me to be like that, and the answer is no, so I am digging deep, and going to try and get through the day, thinking of all the wonderful Christmases my mum gave me. This is without doubt, the hardest day to get through without mum. I hope that together, having this safe space to express our most vulnerable thoughts and feelings, finding strength from somewhere, that we draw strength from each other 
sending you both love 
xx
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@Anna_321 @Sienna1
What have you got planned for tomorrow? Are any of you spending the day on your own? Xx
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It’s 5 months today since mum passed away & I thought I would have felt her presence by now.
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@Anna_321 its 14 months for me and thats something ive also struggled with - why cant i “feel” her? I appreciate there are lots of different views about the afterlife etc, but some things i have read suggest that the intense pain and grief we experience can make it difficult, so maybe it just takes time. I still make sure i talk to her every day and trust that even if i cant feel it right now, that love bond cant ever be broken 
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I’m with my brother and dad tomorrow at home 
how about you ?
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I’m so sorry, every month, every week, the anniversaries are so hard to overcome. I hope that you do feel a presence soon, i think it does take time, everybody’s grief is different. It’s 16 months for me on Saturday, no matter how hard I try, i still count the weeks, months, and it still doesn’t feel real xx
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That’s good that you’re all together, and with family, I’m with my partners family, we’re hosting again, which is a double edged sword tbh, but on the positive, I’m not alone x
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@VictoriaB1 I’m with my sister, bro in law & nephew. Thank you for asking. I’m so glad we all have someone to be with.
Just been helping sort out Santa’s presents & the greedy thing has eaten nearly a whole packet of biscuits 
@Ally6 I have another friend who said that to me too, I could feel my dad all around me pretty early on but my sister says that’s because I had mum.
@Sienna1, you all definitely help me to deal with my feelings.
I hope our mums get to meet each other in heaven. ( I’m not religious but I like to believe they’re in a better place).
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@Anna_321 im glad you’re with family, it sounds like fun 
we might not feel blessed, but we’re not alone in this, and that to me is a positive I’ll take.
I love the thought of our mums meeting up in heaven, what a lovely thing to say and think, that in itself is something I’m going to think about tomorrow to get me through the day 
I don’t know about you, but I struggle to sleep so bad since mum died, I used to be lights out at 10 no problem, now I could go days without sleeping at night.
Life has changed so much, I’ll never get over this x
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Same here regarding sleep, I feel that I’m waiting in the dark for daylight and sometimes I just turn the light on and keep it on. Thinking of getting a night light maybe. I can’t be relied on to meet people or go places because of this sleep issue.
Just wondering has anyone had any supernatural kind of going’s on ? Sometimes things happen and I think is it just me being silly or is it a sign… I don’t know. Maybe I want to see things and I’m kidding myself… I do dream of mum and like to think it is her visiting me to comfort me
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That is sweet- our mums could be friends looking over us all together 
that’s a lovely thought x
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I had a few nightmares when mum died (waking up screaming the house down & crying) so I don’t sleep at night at all now. Usually drop off at dawn.
I feel so sad because I know that mum would do everything in her power to let me know she’s ok….but maybe connecting us is her way
@Sienna1 I would take any & every sign as being from your mum!
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How did you get on (through) yesterday @Ally6, @Sienna1, @VictoriaB1 & everyone else dealing with their loss ?
I had a few insensitive ‘hope you’re having a great day’ type of texts but also a few lovely thoughtful ones just saying I’m in my friends thoughts.
I feel like new year will be hard too. Sounds silly to say this but Mum existed in 2024 ( I keep thinking of the lovely Christmas we had last year) but she’ll be further from me in 2025…. 
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It was a tough day, but i slept through the morning to make it shorter! How are you doing now post-Christmas?
I totally understand the thing about flipping over the calendar into a new year and feeling that youve “left” your mum in the previous year 
New year can also be a tough time with messages from well meaning friends wishing that “2025 will be a better year for you” because they think somehow you put it behind you, rather than realising the prospect of going into a new year without your loved one can be devastating. Sending hugs to all
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Hi @Anna_321 and all,
Surprisingly I had a nice day, no tears and I kept myself super busy hosting, and didn’t drink too much, which I think helped. Of course I thought of mum and all the magical Christmas days she had given me throughout my 50 years, but I kept it together. How are you feeling today? New year is a difficult night, I felt exactly how you feel about the new year and the distance of mum not being here, last year was the hardest for me, mum never saw 2024 so I’m happy to see the back of it. Sending love and strength
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I’m glad to hear that you were able to enjoy the day @VictoriaB1 
Hopefully this is a turning point for you. We are the same age! I too have not ever had a Christmas without mum in it.
I found it very hard as mum loved Christmas & in particular the dinner & all the extras, especially seeing my littlest nephew open his presents. I kept thinking back to what mum was doing this time last year.
I stayed in bed most of yesterday & all today. I want to shake myself out of this daze I’m in but everything feels so pointless.
@Ally6 , it’s all so exhausting isn’t it. I did think about how to stop those insensitive messages but as I didn’t answer the Christmas ones I’m hoping people may have a little self awareness re the new year. I also thought about turning my WhatsApp off but that would just mean those messages come through on mass as soon as I turn it back on. ( It may also worry those who genuinely care if their message doesn’t get delivered).
I hope @Sienna1 is holding up ok.
Sending hugs & strength to you all
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@Anna_321 thank you for the positive massage, it was a tough day, but we’ve managed to get through. A few bed days are sometimes what we need, just to have our own space and thoughts in peace, not having to get up and dressed and speak to people. That’s what I’ll be doing on New Year’s Day, I too don’t want all the messages of happy new year crap, it’s not a happy new year for me or you. I do feel that if I’m strong and had a good day getting through Christmas, then everyone thinks it’s ok, that my grief has gone away, that mum doesn’t get mentioned. There’s no winning for me, because then I get upset and frustrated at people for viewing it like this.
I have a caravan in north wales, and I have come away with my little pooch before new year and just escaped on the beach, fresh air, nice walks, a cheeky fish and chips and not had to be sociable for a nice long weekend. It’s what I needed. Highly recommended if you have the chance to get away for a few days. Sending strength and love to you all, 1 more hurdle next week and we go again, day by day xx
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Hi all, I also stayed in bed for a long time on Christmas Day and didn’t really do much except the washing up after my brother cooked and watched some tv. I’ve not messaged anyone or anything, I actually deleted social media last week as it wasn’t doing me any good looking at people all ‘happy’ with their families and mums. I think it’s the best thing I’ve done. sending hugs to all xxx
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