Thank you for this @Ally6. The time works perfectly for me. I always was a night owl but since mum died I struggle to sleep properly at all. 
@VictoriaB1 I just donāt know how to be at peace. Every day takes me one further away from mum. Like you & Ally say we get through each day but what for? There wonāt be an end to this. Mum was my superpower. She taught & gave me so much but the one thing she couldnāt teach me was how to live without her.
@Anna_321 Iām with you 100%, our mums gave us everything and more, but nothing they could do could have ever prepared us for this. I do often think about how my mum must have felt when her mum died. Iāll never know. Mum never expressed a grief like Iām feeling, maybe that was her way of protecting me
I do remember my mum getting very ill when her mum died. My sister & her husband took her to Ireland for the funeral ( my dad was a very strong man but he could not deal with death) & mum was too unwell to actually go to the funeral. (This nearly mirrors what happened to me 
)
We all stayed close to her for a long time after. At that time mum had one little grandchild who she looked after loads so I think he helped her keep going.
But as with your mum I donāt remember my mum expressing her pain. She spent our whole lives protecting us 
I am feeling like that exactly. I feel that it is worse. I feel that Iām living in this bubble, a world which is not real and then I have these bursts of reality, the other night I just realised mum has gone and will never see her in this life again. It really made me feel so lonely and empty. You are so right no one will love us incontionally like our mums
Unconditional love is so unique there is nothing like it at all, you knew mum had your back no matter what
My mum lost her mum in 2018, then her dad in 2020 and mum became unwell again for the second time in 2021. She was heartbroken and spoke about them every single day, but she had us to keep her going and we were also around mum all the time making sure sheās ok. I used to hold my mums hand and go to sleep next to her 
@Anna_321 @Ally6 @Sienna1 itās truly heartbreaking and life changing and itās not getting any easier. Weāre in this together and Iām hoping and praying that our beloved mums are all up there, become friends and watching over us 
@Sienna1 our mums would have backed us no matter what and I miss that, I miss just talking about my day at work with her or about what I bought from M&S for tea, I miss her so much x
Oh @Sienna1 that is so heartwarming yet so heartbreaking at the same time. The love and relationships that we have all had with our mums, is probably a part of whatās keeping us going 
I held my mumās hand every time we went out, she knew how much I loved her xx
It is definitely those everyday thingsā¦ exactly like you talking about your day, having them on the phone while youāre doing every day things. My mum used to stay on the phone to me whilst I did shopping at times lol she was so calm and listened to me, even when I was moaning lol
I was sitting in a coffee shop today and staring at the empty seat in front of me, I felt such sadness todayā¦ then looking around at other people with their parents/childrenā¦ felt that loneliness quite deep today
Beautiful xxxx š©·š©·š©·š©· thatās love, she knew you loved her and thatās the most precious thing and memory you can hold onto. That made me smile x 
@Sienna1 i did that with my mum, we would just stay on the phone as I went down the aisles at M&S and I would pick her favourite bits off and drop them off, whilst moaning about my day 
What I would give for a day like that today.
Itās so hard to see people enjoying days out with their mums, they have no idea how precious that is x
Awww x thatās lovely, I can just imagine that scene in my head as if it were my own life! Thatās so lovely you did that for your mum, itās all those little things that make a massive difference to someoneās life. The last time I did that was 5 days before my mum passed, I was out buying an outfit for my friends wedding and mum was advising me
Has this app been updated ? Iām finding it quite difficult to type on here, itās not letting me type long messages and thereās a double screen of writing not easy to view
And mum said for once you have bought outfits that actually look really good! Haha ! I did a little fashion show for her (Indian outfits so very colourful and pretty). I never got to wear them as I didnāt go as was same week as mum.
@Sienna1 such wonderful memories that we both have, so very alike, and how lucky we were, to have that kind of relationship and memories filled with love
I feel blessed, and I hope you do too. Not everyone has this peace of having no regrets. I did everything for my mum, and more, and she loved it and totally knew that she was my world. She came first, above everything and everyone, exactly how she made me feel. Funny how their SOH feels like yesterday with their little comments and laughter we shared. We were the lucky ones
I honestly donāt wish this on anyone, but when my friends lose their mum, they might one day sit there and realise that pure hell were going through.
The fashion show is so gorgeous and relatable, every year, mums birthday I would always buy her an outfit, and we had the fashion shows 
Iāve even got the photos and live ones at that, itās what we did and my mums smile and happiness and contentment pours through the pictures. Thereās nothing that could ever compare to this feeling of the special bond we shared with our mums
Are you lucky enough to have videos, voicemails and recent photos to look back on? I hope so xx
Thank you x I have signed up for this too and hope I can have the courage and strength to join in xxx @Ally6
@VictoriaB1 thatās so sweet, such beautiful memories, I had a smile on my face reading about your precious time with mum, itās so heart warming x what an experience to have. We were lucky to have them in our lives x really really blessed to have loved them and receive that love back x š©·
@Sienna1 i could share so many stories with you all, and that in itself is such a privilege. Every Valentineās Day i would get my mum the biggest bouquet of flowers, filled with roses, and every year she would be overwhelmed with them. I was fortunate to get pictures of these special moments. Iām sure you all have your own special moments when you made your mum feel your unconditional unmatched love for her
@VictoriaB1 Do you have those outfits you gave to your mum?
And yes I do have many photos and videos especially of the past few years and some are so funny, mum had a really funny sense of humour especially when she was unwell.
Ps sorry about my dis-jointed messages, I feel this chat isnāt working too well for me today, usually itās quite quick and no problems. Might just be me and my phone though