Such a good idea … I am sure it helps to know that we are not alone and others are having to deal with the same issues and the same feelings … there are groups for people who have lost loved ones through suicide and I think I would find that helpful even though it will never bring my Gemma back.
I know, I cry everyday for my Jacqui, she was such a wonderful person and we loved each other deeply. I still do not understand it even though I had all those years to prepare. I cannot imagine how you feel
Hello Gerard,
Its good that you are finding the online support, I did exactly the same after my precious husband passed away in November 2017.
It does help to know that others understand exactly how you are feeling, and are experiencing the same feelings as you are.
Its very early days for you, you probably still can’t accept what has happened, its all a bad dream, you feel numb with sadness.
Try to take little steps, be kind to yourself and take one day at a time.
I am still waiting for counselling, so I can’t comment on whether or not it will help. Its a 20 week wait in my area, but I’ll definitely accept the help when it comes along. It might be a little too soon for you to receive counselling after just a few weeks, that is what I have been told. Maybe you could try it again in a while?
Thinking of you and sending you a big hug
Elaine
Thank you, it is, in a strange way, comforting to know that there are other people experiencing exactly the same feelings as myself. I did and at times still do feel that the whole world is just spinning along and why are they not grieveing for my Jacqui. I do feel numb and expect her to be here when I come home. know she will never be here again except in my heart and minds but at least I have all those wonderful memories until we meet again.
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Hello Gerard. It is very strange, yet comforting to know there are so many other people going through the same experience.
You also wonder “why is everyone carrying on with life when I have lost the most precious person in mine, and my whole world has fallen apart?” ~ It seems very cruel ~ until you are in the same situation, you cannot know how hard it is.
As you say, you have lovely memories of Jacqui.
Take care and very best wishes ~ Keep in touch, it is wonderful support while you are going through this dreadful time in your life.
Kindest regards Elaine x
Thank you Elaine.
I have just been to yoga as my doc suggested it, it was very calming and it gave me something to think about rather than the grief. My work have been very generous with time off etc during these past 3 years.
It’s as though all of your emotions fight for their place in your life and then sometimes they just clash and you breakdown crying. I was walking back from the village on day and cried the whole way home.
Gerard x
That is a very positive step Gerard. I have also joined a Village Pilates Group, and that is also wonderful for taking your mind off things for a short time, and its also a bit of exercise too……
I know what you mean, the tears just keep falling, you can’t stop yourself and I don’t really think you should. I think you need to grieve. Four months on and I cry at the most unexpected times, music seems to be a real trigger for me. We loved to dance, and when I hear something that reminds me of our happy times, I can’t bear it and it makes me cry.
Take care x
Music or a tv programme with me, onecthatvwecwould watch together, but then we did everything together so I wonder why everything does not make me cry. As everyone says it will take time for the pain to dull, not to go away just dull. I cannot wait until I see my Jacqui again though
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Hi GerardP
So sorry for your loss. Grief is a roller coaster of emotions but I also believe it is a measure of the love we feel for that person. There is no right or wrong way to grieve but to just embrace it. Your wife knew how much you loved her and she will always be with you in your heart. Grief is a lonely journey because noone else can have the unique relationship we shared with our loved one but we can share that journey with you, albeit at different stages. There is a huge void in our lives and it is learning how to cope with that and time is the answer. Take everything one step at a time and remember to take care of yourself. Our loved ones are at peace and no more suffering but we have to learn how to live with our pain and ride the waves of the storms that grief brings
xx
Everything you say is true. I feel utter loss but I also feel that although there are no good days each day does get ever so slightly better. Grief is a funny thing I have been so very upset about my wife that it has caused my heart to have problems. I suppose it’s the term “broken heart” but in my case I have been so upset that I now need to go to hospital
Grief not only affects us mentally but also physically and it is important to maintain our own health. Your wife would not want you to neglect your health so make sure you get help for any ailments caused by grief. Take care x
My wife Sandra died 6 months ago. The other night I heard her say something and turned around and said “Pardon, Darling ?”, only to suddenly wake up and realise she wasn’t there. Dear God, why did you have to take her so soon ?
Gerard P , I lost my wife on 10/12/18 we were together for 54yrs married for 50yrs ,she’d been ill for 38 yrs and when something like this happens I we are not going to get any peace for quiet a long time , like you I tried to talk to a councillor but I just fell to pieces maybe it’s just to soon , like you I’ve spent years going to the hospital and you should be kind to yourself if you have supported /loved and taken care of her in reality there’s probably no more you could have done , so take care of yourself now , remember to be kind to yourself take care .