Hi everyone,
I have been really struggling since my wife passed away a year ago
My therapist have said that joining a group with people who are experiencing the same may help,
So our story began just after covid lockdown (when things started to open up properly )
my wife wasn’t feeling too good really tired couldn’t take more then 4 steps with out been out of breath and tired and throwing up.
We went to doctors after a few episodes they sent her for test she come back her white cells was very low and needed a blood transfusion.
After a month she was back to how it started so again another transfusion happened,
Tge 3rd time it happened she was sent for more test and cameras to find where the bleeding was been lost for her cells to drop that much,
We got called in to see the doctor and was told they wanted to send get got a biopsy and camera to check her womb as it was showing thinking so we went had it done was told she was too young but they had to rule it out she was 35 at this point.
These was fast tracked so had a call in the same week to come to the hospital to get the results.
We walked into the room and I spotted the MacMillan before my wife.
I knew it wasn’t going to be the news we wanted to hear .
We was told she was stage 2 womb cancer we was told about what they had planned and treatment once she was in for her hysterectomy more test was done to determine what treatment she was going to have after. We thought okay a few months on radio or chemo it’s stage 2 we got it early
Fast forward a 1 week we got a call again to come back In the results was back.
We sat there and we was told it was worse then they though she was in fact stage 3 heading into 4 it had moved out of her womb into her ovaries but was happy with chemo for a year she could keep it at bay for years with regular check ups
Fast forward a year she got the stable it was asleep we got married ( supposed to get married the year she was in treatment but postponed it)
She was a gf treatment for 8 months and even with 3 months checks it went undetected and was in free to do what it wanted.
We went so many times with her bleeding getting told off t was normal (she had a hysterectomy don’t get how it was normal to bleed when it was taken away) anyway she got to point where she was in pain to move she couldn’t get out of bed sit up without crying in pain.
We went back to hospital the 6th time within a week and they kept her In she was there from July 2023 we was told the back end of August she was dying and the cancer had grown and attached it’s self to her bladder and was now shutting her kidneys down she was finally out of pain 5am on the 13th September 2023
It’s been really hard to cope without her and I don’t want to let her down and give up but some times I just want to be back with her I’m staying strong for our son.
Sending you a hug. I am so sorry for your loss. X
I am so very sorry. Life is very unfair. I hope you get as much support and understanding from this site as I have done.
I lost my husband 3 months ago from a cardiac arrest.
Sending hugs and strength.
Xx
So sorry to hear about your husband x
So sorry for your loss. X
Hi everyone I lost my wife on 27th of December 2022 it was and still is the worse day of my life we had been married for 20 years as we did everything together and now I’m lost have even thought about suicide so I can be with her again it’s really affected my mental health now I just lock myself away at home only go out when I really need to
I think many of us have had those thoughts, I know I have.
Please think about talking to someone about it. In the meantime, we are all here for you. All in the same boat, so we understand how you feel. There is a lot of support available for you right here. You can say anything, there is no judgement, just love and support.
Xx
Hi 115311
I have also had thoughts and even acted on them I had hit rock bottom but I knew it wasn’t good my wife Rach wouldn’t have liked to see me hurting myself and I also had to think about our son and family.
I went to therapy and doctors don’t get me wrong I still have the thoughts but no longer act on them it is very hard.
I also didn’t leave the house and still have them days it’s hard to get out of your own head some days what helps me is knowing she wouldn’t want me to live like this and she would be kicking me up the arse to get out even for a little walk each day I started with standing in the garden was safe space for me then took it to walking around the estate then getting in the car even baby steps are better then letting it all carry on in your head and struggling alone
Your not alone there are people in here to listen and also professional nice to have a rant at someone who isn’t family you can be more honest then you can with family
Sorry for your loss.
So sorry for what you have gone through , its horrific.
Its nearly 2 years since I lost my Husband to non hodgkins lymphoma on 26th November 2022.
It is truly awful to watch someone you love suffer so much 
I have some good days now but still some very bad days .
Please try and stay strong for your son , I know easier said than done , but he needs you, he has also lost his Mum .
This is a great place on here to come to when you are really down and suffering .
We all understand what each other is going through , so you dont feel so isolated and alone .
Well meaning people try to give you comfort , but they dont honestly know what it is like , if they have not been through it themselves.
Sending you some love at this horrible time .