Michelle, you understand so well. Where would we all be without each other. We post and get a response within minutes ! Makes me feel safe and loved and understood.
I feel much better now. As you say it is a release.
I remember someone telling me that in a desperate situation in their life they phoned The Samaritans and got an Answering machine ! The shock of it actually helped as it was so bizarre!
Lots of love to you.
Kate xx
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Hello dear Kate, oh I am so sorry that you have had such a bad day, To relive everything that our poor children went through and the trauma of trying to live our lives without them I know you have the anniversary coming up and Michelle is right it makes us extra sensitive. Big hugs to you and hope you will feel a bit better tomorrow Love Maddie xxx
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Dear Kate, crying is a good release of all that tension. It seems to start when we have to talk about our children. It is so very hard. Iām glad youāre feeling a little better after it all.
Love Chris
X
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I am thankyou but itās all down to you all knowing how it feels and understanding. No one really knows unless they have been through this.
Kate xxx
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Dear Kate, I am so sorry that you have been so sad today. I understand completely as the grief can still come from nowhere and take our feet from under us and I donāt think the shock will ever leave us. We may be bruised and battered but we are still standing and will continue to do so.
I feel as though I know you all so well yet we have never met and I care so much about you all as we share in each otherās grief. At times now I feel as though there is an invisible barrier between me and other people but that does not exist at all here, between us.
I would love to all be together one day, hugging each other and sharing a bottle of bubbly or two. Much love xxx
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Would love that too Victoria. Yes we are all close now and I reckon always will be.
Thankyou for being there and we will meet up in the autumn if we all can.
With love, Katexx
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Hi Deborah a nd Maddie,
I have read the posts but on my phone for some reason I canāt reply. Iām please you have decided to leave your money to your youngest and that your son is in agreement. As for the shit of a husband all I can say to you is good riddance you donāt need that crap in your life!! My first husband had an affair with the woman who did the books in a small business we had, but I have had the last laugh, she now looks like I used to worn out and frightenedā¦she once told me āI always get what I wantāā¦what is the saying be careful of what you wish for, because you just might get it!! Sam walked away from his dad, some years ago he never said why but I have a feeling it was that he saw him for what he was. We went to the twins 4th birthday on Monday and he was there with her, she doesnāt speak to me I just smile and say hello Jane! He comes over full of himself comes up and kisses me on the cheekā¦I have a feeling itās to wind her up but Ger says he looks at you and bitterly regrets it. My mum said they all must think what on earth are you doing with John (my second husband) my ex isnāt even in the same league as John. John is very good to my mum picking her up dropping her here and yet she is so nasty about him to me, so I lost the plot with her, my friend Dee said āI would have chucked her out of the house if she had said that to me about Mikeā. Personally I think she is jealous, sheās been unkind to me most of my life.
Maddie, my advice to you with Sarah, like me with Ger, keep your counsel, hardest thing in the World to do nothing!! She will eventually start to see the light, donāt text or return calls go really quiet which is what I did let her do the running it may take some time like it did with Ger but eventually it does work.
With love
Helen
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Hi Oh Helen you have have put have with so much crap I cannot relate with you in some things as I have such a lovely husband of 52 years . But with Ger , yes I can . Oh I so much would love to meet you . Are you still up for July , as I I am now looking at booking a hotel for 17 July . ? Maddie xx
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Hi Maddie,
Yes I am let me know where when and how much you have my number
xxH
So wish I was able to join you all! However, I am expecting lots of photos!xx
Hi All,
Helen is right, Maddie. Keep your counsel , go quiet with Sarah and she will come back.
It worked with Tiffany too xxx
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I am sure thatās the way to go. Difficult as it is, eventually things will settle down.
With love to you all.
Kate xx
Hi Kate
Just read about your meltdown and felt heartbroken for you.
I had one too on Sunday. I went for a coffee at Costa and remembered sitting outside with Scott and his former girlfriend and having such a nice day. That made me upset then seeing a gorgeous wee girl Italian girl made me start thinking about the grandchildren I wonāt have. Scotts girlfriend was half Pakistani and the wee girl playing was what I had pictured in my mind as the grandchild I possibly may have had.
Itās all the future with them taken away. All our hopes and dreams, all gone.
By the time I reached work I was hysterical and I was sent home. Iām lucky Iām very supported at work.
Iāve just felt sad and drained since then as I imagine you have too.
I sometimes wish it was just all over with.
Even out having a drink in the sun with a friend one day which was lovely is just ruined because the sadness just comes over me as soon as Iām alone.
Anne x
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Dear Anne, such a difficult road we all have to travel and I wish I could put my arms around you and comfort you. I am glad your work are being so understanding as that makes a world of difference.
I too had a meltdown this week ā¦ I think every so often the grief just overwhelms us, we have to wait for it to subside and we are vulnerable.
Hereās hoping you are feeling better today. Much love xxx
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I know Anne, it does exhaust us after we have meltdowns. I was still a bit down the next day but had a lot of nice things planned, coffee with friends etc, it got me through.
Heading to Edinburgh this afternoon after picking up Brooke from School. We are visiting Jemma for the weekend. All so excited. Jemma has booked tickets for the Zoo tomorrow. Brooke will be bursting with excitement.
I hope you have a good weekend and send you love and hugs.
Life is not how any of us expected though.
Kateā:revolving_hearts:
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Hi Kate
Have a wonderful time in Edinburgh. I live in Glasgow so been there many times with my boys, lots of lovely memories.
Make lots of new ones with Brooke
Anne x
Hello Anne and Kate,
Anne, I can relate to you with Scott sitting in Costa, I remember after Sam had his operation and him and Mathilda were living here in a flat (I live in a village between Bath and Bristol) we used to go to Costa in Longwell Green and have coffee and whichever cake they wanted (he wasnāt allowed to drive then) When Dee took me there for a coffee I just sat and cried, even now it still gets to me the children Sam wont have, if he hadnāt had the brain tumour they would have had children by now and he would either have been working in Sweden or they would have moved to France which is what they both wanted. It hurts so much and I get down but then I drag myself back up by my bootstraps, and try to carry on itās all we can do really.
Lisa/Anne, on our holiday to Scotland 17th June we are staying in Edinburgh for 2 days before going to Inverness. It looks so lovely
With love
Helen
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Have a lovely time in Edinburgh, Kate xxx
Enjoy your weekend Kate . Love maddie xx
Hi Helen
Thank you for that, its good to know Iām not alone in all these thoughts.
Thank goodness for this group as you all have the same thoughts, meltdowns and pain. No one else really understands.
Edinburgh is very pretty although as a Glaswegian I have to say my city is too and our shops and restaurants are far betterā:grin:
!!!
Enjoy it!!!
Anne x
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