If you can go after most people stop work and are at home, it’s the best time to avoid people. I also shopped at a small co-op where I knew it was unlikely I would meet anyone I knew.
We learn to protect ourselves.
Thinking of you today.
Much love.
Kate xx
Hi Deborah,
I am sad to say we never move on we learn to live alongside the grief and eventually learn to accept. When Sam told me he had a brain tumour I think I started grieving then so for me it was the 4 and a half years he was alive desperately hoping that he would make it (even though I had to keep up a facade) and now almost 5 years after yet sometimes it feels like yesterday and I am back to square one. Things change but for us they stay the same. Take your time it’s early days for you yet. When you feel ready to meet up with some friends you will and they will know also how to react to you. Kate has met my friends when we travelled up to Scotland and she knows what they are like. I can talk about Sam all day everyday and they would truly understand. and by the same token they will bring Sam into the conversation so naturally. Sally who Kate met along with the others, her cousin lost hr daughter so she knows to a degree what it is like she also lost her mum. Janice and Sue are the same. I know without them and John I would not have made it through because like Maddie with Sarah, my elder boy was a complete idiot and very selfish he seems to have calmed down now especially towards me.
Take care Deborah, just give yourself some time
Love Helen
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Dear Deborah,
I know just how you are feeling as do all the lovely parents on this site, don’t stress over having days when you just can’t get out of bed or get dressed or do shopping etc, you are in such early days of your grief and no-one can ever know how you feel unless they have walked in our shoes. I do the same as you I have one of Matt’s favourite t-shirts that every night I hug it and I’ve obviously had to wash it but I put a bit of his aftershave on it, I feel that when I hug it I’m letting him know I’m hugging him and I’m sure he knows 
as for friends I don’t see the ones like Kate says who are so self centred like they worry how many calories are in their meal and other crap like that I used to tolerate them but not now I don’t tolerate many people tbf I only see people that talk about Matt with me and understand that he will always be part of our lives and we will never get over loosing our precious babies we will have bad days and good days. I still sometimes still can’t take in that Matt has really gone, Helen says she had to live knowing Sam was seriously ill and like your daughter Matt had a tragic accident and was taken suddenly , I don’t think any of us expect to ever outlive our children and however we lost them we are all united on this journey together sending you much love and praying that tomorrow will be a good day, when you do go shopping buy some lovely flowers and place them next to your daughters photo or plant a lovely rose in your garden as nature helps to feel close to our babies and listen to the birds song xxx
Love Michelle xxxx
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Hello dear friends , how have we ever got through our grieving , but we have and you will Deborah. We have been through the hardest times , of our lives not exspecting our beautiful children to leave us. I still feel bitter and angry , really angry , and Sarah keeps asking me why I am so bitter , and I told her that’the way I feel , some days I still want to scream .Deborah , if you find cuddling your precious girls things , that’s what you have to do , anything that brings comfort. I do a diary to her everyday , and tell her what we are up to and how I am feeling , as I can’t talk to Sarah about my grief , I am sure Dawn is listening. I take her with me everywhere I go on holiday in a small heart with part of her in there , I don’t want he To miss out . I hope you do the things you feel comfortable with , you will know when the time is right to move on , Sending to love to all , and hope we can all meet up soon . . Maddie xxx
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Dear Maddie, thinking of you today so let us know how you are. Much love to you both xxx
I hope you are all having a good week. We talked about a big meet up later in the year so I was thinking of October? If we could find a weekend (or few days) that we can all meet, we can then work out a place that is easy for everyone (I’m very happy to travel anywhere). I can manage any time except the first weekend. Much love to you all xxx
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Thankyou Victoria, so it’s Dawns birthday today , just been to one of her resting places and placed her usual sparkly ballon, . Everyone on Facebook have put some lovely comments , and it warms our heart to know she is so missed . I was awake at 6 this morning and looking at her photo beside my bed thinking about the 52 years we had her such happy memories and in the end so sad . I don’t this hole in my heart will ever mend. Victoria you know we are happy to travel anywhere , so let’s hope we can all meet up in October love to all Maddie
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This is one of my favourite photos of Dawn x
Hi Maddie…A lovely girl who look’s full of joy and laughter…It’s heart breaking to look at…Life is so cruel…Bless her.
Take care Maddie…Marina xxx
Thankyou Marina , she was ful l of life always loved to arrange everything , she loved her holidays to Florida and Cornwall , we were going with her to Florida in 2017 , she was so looking forward to going , as she spent most of 2016 in hospital , but it wasn’t to be , as she passed away December 2016 . Hope you will be avalible to meet up with all us i October , would love to see you . Love Maddie xx
Hi Maddie what a beautiful photo. Such happy sparkling eyes. I still can’t look at photos of Kathryn, it just hits home the loss of her. I will probably be able to as time goes on.
Thinking of you 
Deborah xx
Hello Deborah , health wise I hope you are feeling a little less bit better . I like you ended up in hospital after Dawn passed . We were going to St Lucia for our 50 wedding anniversary and I felt sick before we went , but slightly recovered out there . But a week later ended up in hospital with infection in my gall bladder and a massive stone , in hospital for a week . And then 6 weeks later in hospital to remove gall bladder , but know they couldn’t as was joined onto another organ so they had to put in a stormer bag , and god it was worse than the op . Months of going to hospital . So I think in some ways we have been through the mill . You will put out the photos when you are ready , I didn’t for 5 months only because everyone keep moaning at me , it felt so painful to look at her face being so happy . But now I talk to her photo all the time , and kiss her good night , and I am so pleased they bagged me into doing it . Thinking of you , and hope you will feel better soon Maddie xxxx
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Hi Maddie,
A beautiful picture of Dawn, so happy. I hope you are coping as best you can, please remember they never leave us leave us love is to strong a bond to be broken by death.
Death is nothing at all
It does not count
I have only slipped away into the next room
Nothing has happened
Everything remains exactly as it was
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other that we still are
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak of me in the easy way you always used
Laugh as we always laughed
Smile think of me pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
I am but waiting for you for an interval somewhere very near just round the corner
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
All my love Helen
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Thankyou Helen , such lovely words I know we share a lovely bond as Dawn and Sam passed 2 days apart . So I bet they are conferring and saying just get on with life we will see you soon . With love Maddie xx
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Dear Maddie,
Thinking of you today on Dawn’s Birthday I find the birthdays the hardest anniversary of all to deal as we are reminded of their birth and of all the happy birthdays we celebrated with them like you I have pictures of Matt everywhere it really helps as I look at him and I feel he is looking back at me but I understand that’s not fir everyone and we have to fo what’s right for us. We have Matt’s inquest on the 18th October which will run for 5-7 days so could only make the weekend of 2nd or the 9th of Oct or first weekend in November . Much love to all
Michelle xxxx
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Thankyou Michelle , what an awful thing hanging over you ,sorry it’s that sounds insensitive. Don’t worry we will work around trying to meet up ,asi think we all need it . We have met up with Victoria a few times now and it’s been wonderful , we have have had laughs but have had a few tears , but us mothers are the only ones who can share the grief of losing a beautiful child. Sending love Maddie xx
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Hi Michelle I’m glad you now have a date for the inquest, still quite a way off but it is something to work towards. I hope that you get some answers and some closure.
On another note has anyone heard from Anne? I’ve scrolled through the posts and can’t see anything from her in a while.
Deborah xx
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Maddie arnt stones painful. My kidney stone is large and is what caused the kidney infection and then sepsis. I can’t wait to go into hospital and have it removed. The stent that I have in my kidney is awful too. I can’t stand up straight and am walking with a stick! Such is life.
Deborah xx
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