Hello Wynne, I completely understand how you feel and my heart goes out to you I lost my son 8 months ago to a RTA my heart is broken and there is not a moment in the day he is not in my thoughts , I love him so so much but these words have helped me and I printed the words and read them whenever I am overwhelmed with loss I hope they will help you and anyone else as heart broken as we are, believe me he will be with you!
As I sit in Heaven and I watch you everyday
I try to let you know with signs that I never went away
I hear you when your laughing and watch you as you sleep
I even place my arm around you to calm you when you weep
I see you wish the days away begging to have me home
So I try to send you signs so you know your not alone
Heaven is truly beautiful, just you wait, wait and see so live your life, laugh again, enjoy yourself be free, then I know with every breath you take you`ll be taking one for me
Thanks Elaine, really struggling to move forwards - people say I must concentrate on good memories of Daniel but keep getting flash backs of his last few months when he was in such pain. He has been gone now six weeks but every day seems like a year. Not sure if the canon sized hole can ever reduce. Friends say he would want us to make the most of our time left on this planet but to be honest there is little joy and I donât know how to keep going. Any advice please from anyone would be so welcomed. Many thanks Wynne
Hello Wynne,
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling to move forward, I know exactly how you feel, Sam has been gone for almost 4 months now and yet it seems like yesterday I held him in my arms as he took his final breath. Every morning I wake up and for a split second think I have had a really bad dream then reality kicks in. I push myself so hard to get out of bed and think about what I need to do today, inconsequential things just to keep me motivated which is why I joined a zumba class because for 45 minutes I have to concentrate on the exercise,and no one knows me there itâs really early days for both of us, the hole in our hearts will stay but eventually there will be a slight film over them so that we donât cry so often with the raw pain, and ever so slightly we move forward as someone who knows told me very very tiny steps doing things that ordinarily wouldnât matter but they help us to focus, try hard Wynne to focus on the good times you had with Daniel before he was ill.
I still struggle on a daily basis after 18 months. I wake up and think it canât be true until I realise it is. The pain is difficult to deal with and the injustice of it all. I am just beginning to focus on how much she achieved instead of the suffering but it has taken a long time and as I say, Iâm just beginning to think this way. It didnât take long to realise though that time doesnât stand still, days dawn and fade and everyone else continues to carry on with daily life. We are still in that life but its not the same and never will be again. Iâm trying to adjust little by little.
Dear friends,
Many thanks for sharing this horrendous journey and I am so sorry to hear that we all seem to be suffering the same pain, anxiety and injustice of having had such a young person taken from our lives. I have just returned from a two day retreat to see if I could get some peace and understanding but to be honest the pain is too deep and very little seems to bring any solace. Daniel left this world just seven weeks ago today but it seems like yesterday - I keep wanting to share a conversation or send a text to him. Very little seems to help but I know I have still got to get up each morning, wash and dress and try to have some sort of routine but it is hard. I have to hope that somehow it will get easier although I know life has changed for ever. Thanks again for sharing it really does help.
Hello,wynne I know how you feel we lost our lovely daughter Dawn December 11 and life just doesnât feel the same,It was such a lovely day today so sat in the sun then could not stop crying wishing Dawn could be hear to enjoy it. I am so desperate to make contact with her, we had a medium round but I think it was mostly guess work I have had a few feathers which they say is a good sighn .any thing to comfort me . So wynne try and keep yourself busy it does take your mind off it for a while ,and try and get a change of scienary if you can . I am under the doctor and see a councillor every two weeks . I still cry all the time and want to scream some days I miss her so much I think Iâm going mad . take care would love to from you again to find out how you are getting on. Maddie 49
Hello Wynne, you must remember you are not alone on your journey we are all suffering with broken hearts and dealing with our loss each day as best we can. My Son John died 9 months ago he was with me for 20 years and 9 months in the womb writing it like that seams so strange , but I do now he is with me in spirit and when I was at my lowest he found a way to let me know he was ok , not with a feather but in a dream and with all kinds of happenings. I am totally open to his presence and talk to him all the time , he was such a strong loving son and I know one day we will meet again but for know I have learn to live with my sorrow of not being able to touch him and hold him and cook his tea and wash his clothes and listen to him and laugh with him and do all the things us mothers do. I am just waiting for his head stone to be placed on his grave which is in a beautiful spot at the church where he made his First Holy Communion , I know he is not there just his remains but it is always full of family flowers from his siblings and friends, the short time he was with us he touched so many lives and it is there I get most comfort. The power of prayer for me has been the most comforting as I know my strength is coming from the Lord⌠We all have a different story to tell but never the less we are all suffering the same way and when those waves of emotion hit us we have to give in and let those red hot tears fill our eyes and burn our skin as the stream down our cheeks then we learn to live another day !
Dear friends,
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings about the losses of your loved ones. It really is helpful to know that many of you have felt the spirit of your child near you. Sometimes I think Daniel is comforting me but then I wonder if it is just my imagination and the strong need to have him beside me. Every day I spend a good part of it weeping and struggling to even smile. I read all your advice and how each of you are coping. Please keep sharing. With love. Wynne
Itâs not your imagination that Daniel is near, he isâŚI saw a spiritualist medium again on the 4th April. I walked in to her home and sat down she started the conversation by saying your loved one is sat next to you he wants you to know that you are his World and hereâs a kiss on your forehead for all the ones you gave him. He passed well before his timeâŚshe also said that he is with an older lady who brought him forward to speak. He thanked me for lighting a candle every nightâŚhow did she know that and that he also wore shorts and T shirt when he passed (she blew me away with what she knew) she also said that he didnât want to go into hospital (I kept him here at home with me until he died) and he wanted to thank me for that. She also said that heâs finding it a bit of an adventure in the spirit World but misses home cooked chips (again how did she know that he didnât like fries!) and I am to think of him having emigrated to Australia and we will meet again someday. Again how did she know that he had lived in Australia and was thinking of emigrating there? I wanted to be sure that Sam could hear me when I talk out loud to him and from the other things she said he can so I know he wants me to carry on, she also mentioned about the babies to comeâŚmy other sonâs wife is having twins. There was so much, but it has comforted me. Now I just keep doing things, my ironing basket has never been so empty or my house so sparkly!!!
Hi Sams Mum
This sounds so comforting. It is something which I have been wanting to try just to help with these sad feelings. Life still feels like and existance. The only plans Iâm able to make involve family, mainly around grandchildren.
It was very comforting to hear that you have been able to feel Sam close to you and amazing all the different signs. I too would love to feel this from Daniel but not sure how to interpret any of the symbols. The pain of missing him every waking moment seems unbearable and the future without him at the moment just feels impossible. The lovely weather helps to make me feel calmer and the garden brings some relief. The doctor has suggested I try antidepressants but I am unsure. Does anyone have advice? Thinking of you all.
Despite the lovely weather over the weekend which I wanted so much to share with Daniel it was still hard to appreciate the beauty of the sunshine. I have been advised to take antidepressants but I am really not sure if that is the right route for me. It will be just two months tomorrow when Daniel closed is eyes for the last time. The sadness of it all is just over powering and so final. I appreciate reading how others are coping in their grief. Thank you so much.
I know how you feel my son Daniel died November 24th 2016 from deep vein thrombosis after an operation he was 33 and my only child I miss him every day Iâve got his ashes at home with me I also had a ring made from his ashes called ashes to glass so heâs close to me all the time xx
So sorry to hear how the grief continues for so many of us. I am having a hard day today as I keep remembering what we were doing this time last year. I feel that not only has my son Daniel been robbed of his future but also the rest of the family have lost their future too. Every day seems another mountain to climb. How does what get through this? Sometimes I just want it all to end but is that just being selfish? Sending love to everyone on this torturous journey. Xx
I lost my 29 year old son in Dec 2016 in road incident he died on the scene, I feel each day brings new misery over and over, crying is my companion, physically drained . I canât accept not seeing my son again I am destroyed. I too have ring from ashes into glass seen medium . I have not dreamt of Antony nor felt his presence. I ask him for signs and sometimes song comes on radio or I hear his motto living the dream. I kiss his photo every evening and morning and his ashes, I donât seem able find comfort. Iâve isolated myself as well. So sorry for all loses of our sons and daughters
It is so difficult and hard to describe to others. It affects so many futures. Every occasion is difficult. Not only my daughterâs own birthday/anniversaries but mine, her Dadâs, her daughterâs, her cousins graduation, her nephewâs christening and many more which she is missing and is missed by everyone. Life is so difficult, I wonder how we go on. Itâs different, another life without her. But change is always hard at the best of times without it being forced upon us in this way. People say to me âyouâre strongâ but they couldnât be more wrong. How I appear on the outside doesnât resemble how I feel on the inside but I canât always say it to them. I am beginning to try to focus on happy times and her achievements, live in her memory. I hope everyone can find some strength to get through another day then another, a little at a time.
Hello Bir
What you said about people saying youâre strong is just what they say about me and youâre right it isnât how you feel inside that sums up me exactly. But you say about 1 day at a time is also true I try to keep busy so that Iâm always tired.-
Julie my son also died like yours in December 16.
I just have to keep going for my other son and grandchildren and my partner. If I didnât have any of them I would probably not be here. With love Helen
Those songs that come on the radio are his way of letting you know he is near, I always ask Sam things and I chat to him all the time, it makes it not seem so real for me.
with love Helen
Thanks Helen, I did go see medium who said things only me Antony and his sister knew.
Each day is so hard knowing heâs not going come through door again.
I know canât bring him back but itâs just so hard get brain to register it. Dont know if it ever will, I get up and sit waiting for bedtime , all I do is cry and think 24/7 bout him.
Itâs a overwhelming pain . Itâs just so wrong isnât it? Our ways maybe different how weâve lost our sons or daughters but the path we find ourselves on is the same, learning to acknowledge, grief and painâŚfamily friends donât understand its so hard trying explain how I feel when canât explain it just how it is.
Julie