Thank you for caring it means so much so kind thank you marina xxx much love to you xx
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Hi Zoe how is your day going? I expect itâs had its ups and downs, you think you are doing well then bang ! Something hits you again doesnât it. Anyway Where can I buy some of those big girl pants you mention .? I havenât seen mine for ages 
Love jss xx
I hope your day has gone ok Honey you are so strong thank you for giving me strength
Another new month, I hate every new month itâs another month without my precious boy, nearly 7 months now. I had my first Christmas card today and took my box of cards out of the cupboard and that just finished me off, I was a crying heap on the floor. All this Christmas stuff has knocked me back to the gasping for breath and incredible pain in my chest again like the early days.
I really donât know how I am going to get through this month let alone put on a brave face for family. Itâs just too unbearable, but I expect itâs the same for all of us.
Love jss xx
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I feel your pain honey I lost my son a month ago and the pain is unbearable. Please take care of yourself and realise that you are allowed to break when the despair comes back . But you have survived 7 month . I know it hurts but you will get through xxx
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I remember only to well that first Christmas it was just a week since Christians funeral, instead of Christmas cards we received bereavement cards. Then on Christmas Day we took our two dogs for a long walk near the coast, there was a little pub and people were coming out wishing us a Merry ChristmasâŚit was horrible and heart breakingâŚso I know just how sad and alone you both must be feeling but you will find the strength and the courage to cope.
Take care Marina xxx
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It just hits us out of the blue. Itâs the worst time you are going through. The pain is so intense in the early days.
I have been weepy today. No reason really, it just hits me that our beautiful girl isnât in their new house looking after Jamie and little Brooke, but gone forever. The reality is so hard for all if us but it does get easier to deal with.
Sending love and understanding.
Kate xx
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Hello Aj and jss
Yes the pain is horrible, I remember after Sam died on the 9th Dec my friend took me out and we walked into Wilkinsons, I was just in the aisle staring and this man and his wife wanted to get past I didnât see them and he shouted at me, I screamed at him and said I wish youâd died instead of Sam and burst into tears, my friend bundled me out of there, so yes itâs the crappiest time of the year even now for me
Love Helen
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I have been weepy to this week. I hate the build up to Christmas and will never put my tree up again. The first Christmas after we lost Gemma, we took Gemmaâs son, Coren and our other grandson out for lunch. It was absolutely the best thing to do as it got me out of the house and we couldnât be too sad because of the boys. I think we just have to do the best we can to get through. I actually find New Years Eve worse so I have a large gin, a sleeping tablet and go to bed.
Sending lots of love to you all 
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Me too Victoria. We used to love New Year up North as it is celebrated more than Christmas. However, since we lost Lisa, I have a big whisky, camomile tea and off to bed before 10. I just canât do it anymore. Alan goes out to a couple of houses but to me there is no reason the celebrate another year without our child. Jemma doesnât like it either anymore.
We have just changed so much.
Love to all.
Kate xx
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Bless you Kate ⌠I always feel as though I have moved on and not taking Gemma into the new year with me is so hard xxx
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It is such a difficult time. You never imagined it could be so bad. I did not send cards the first Christmas after loosing Jo, I gave money to charity (and still do). I good friend rang me and said âI am so sorry I canât find a card for you, everything is so inappropriate and not rightâ I said donât worry, I am not sending any cards and Iâm giving to charity.
Wishing everyone strength to face these next few weeks.
Love Chris x
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This memory came up on my Facebook page today. Gemma won a photography competition with this photograph taken in the town where we live ⌠Gemma always referred to as âour townâ. I am very proud of her
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I canât send cards anymore either. Only to my sister and very close friends who donât live nearby. That amounts to 3 or 4 at the most. It just doesnât seem normal anymore to be sending cheery Christmas cards when we feel like sâŚt ourselves.
Love to everyone here who understands exactly how we feel.
Kate xxxxx
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Beautiful picture
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Such talent. Fabulous photo xx
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Thank you Chris xx
Hi everyone .why has this happened to all our lives.its so wrong .my sam just 25 .horrible cancer .4 months he was gone .i keep thinking come on sam .7 months now you have to be back . Its like its not real .this xmas without my beautiful boy. Had my 60th .my jess had done a surprise party i could not believe it . It was so very emotional but in a wierd way i felt sam was there. This crazy madness .xmas is so hard for us all .ive said to my jess shall we go out for dinner .dont think i can stay in .just want him back . Hope time will make this pain more bearable xx love to you all love zoe 
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Hello Chris,
Its 5 years for me and I canât send any now and havenât done since Sam. John tries to get me to write them but I find it so hard. In fact I find it all awful, as I said before if I could bypass Christmas and go to Jan 2nd or 3rd I would.
It will be exactly 5 years next Thursday, and Iâm not coping at all. Do we ever?
Well summed up Kate, like all of us the only thing we keep going for is the grandchildren.
Roll on January.
Victoria, what a beautiful image Gemma captured.
Love
Helen
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Hi Zoe,
He was there with you, of that I am sure.
Love
Helen