Dear Ruby, what about a solo weekend or week away. I did this about 12 years ago. It was before my daughter passed. But I had custody of my 2 grandchildren and was extremely tired. It did me a lot of good just to get away. It was my first time abroad and I went to Alcudia. It was very much needed. I remember saying my head just needed a rest. Blessings to you and hope you find some relief. I’m going through a bad time re loss of my daughter. It will be 2 years next April but I don’t feel its any easier. I have ok days and then it comes back to me. Prayers for healing 
. Xxx
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Hello everyone, I’m new on this site. I’ve been reading all the messages and it has helped me to understand that what I feel is not weird or unusual. I think I can really relate to JSS.
That is exactly how I feel. I have fresh flowers by his photo, candles burning.
No one understands the pain we feel, the heartache. 
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Hi Dally I know you feel lost and in a place of sadness that won’t stop . But I have found this page helps so much . We are all here for each other whenever needed x
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Hi Dally so sorry that life has thrown this terrible heart ache at you to. welcome to the site I hope you find it as helpful as I have. When I first came here I too thought I was the only one having all these weird thoughts and feeling , that there was something wrong with me that I could not “ pull myself together” . I have found that every feeling, thought or action that I have had , has been the same as many others here who are on the same painful journey. I am now not afraid to open my heart and mention all my pain and fears on here as it’s only people in the same situation who really understand, and I don’t want to burden friends and family . I often come on the site in the early hours of the morning when I can’t sleep often I find someone else can’t sleep also. It helps when I am having a meltdown to and feel I really can’t take anymore. There is always reassurance on these pages.
Keep posting we all become friends here.
Take care jss xx
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JSS and Ajth,
Thank you for your kind words.
It’s been 10 weeks and 2 days since my son left me. He is 36 and it was not expected. I was with him for the last 4 days and night, he was in hospital. I went to help him get better, not walk out on my own without him.
My world is empty, he’s my eldest. My whole life is about them, now I see no reason to live. I hate myself for not being able to take his pain away and I keep seeing his face, the look of helplessness and even he finally gave up because he had nothing left to fight with.
I cant sleep, I force myself to eat and if I didn’t have the dogs, doubt I would get out of bed
I exist, I have no purpose.
Mega low and lost 
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Hi Dally it’s Nearly 7 months for me and he was my youngest, but yes I feel exactly the same , In the beginning I could not eat and lost 2 stone, I found if I drank it took some of the knot in my stomach away and then I could eat, now Its gone the opposite way I eat rubbish all day and drink wine as well which is not the answer but it will have to do for now. Tried anti depressants but that was not the answer for me, thinking of counselling but not sure if it would help yet, it has worked for some on here but not for others. I would think I was moving forward sometimes then get knocked right back to the beginning again. I do what ever I need to now, if I want to stay in bed I stay in bed, if I want to scream into a pillow I scream into a pillow, if I don’t want to talk I don’t talk. I might be being selfish but I am just doing what I have to to survive even though I might not feel I want to anymore . Thankfully the people around me seem to understand, I hope you have supportive people around you . I have found there are no answers and nothing anyone can say can take any of the pain away, but people say it gets better or we come to terms with it so I just have to believe that . Hang on in there it’s all we can do and keep posting for support jss xx
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I lost my youngest 5 week ago suddenly no warning . We cremated him yesterday . I have and still feel empty and cry at anything at all . This site has helped me so much I feel I can talk about my feelings and the darkness without being judged on here
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Thank you both and I’m so sorry for your loss, stupid words, I know but I feel your grief.
AJTH, what a upsetting day, I think as a parent, it’s theworst day of your life, I can’t think of anything worse. I hope you sent him off in style and he smiled about all the fuss you made to make sure he had the best
I made such a fuss a fuss, that I was hoping he would be laughing at all the silly little things that I wanted to be perfect.
How are feeling after yesterday? I was lost as it seemed so final 
I don’t have anyone to talk to and was worried about putting it on my other 2 children, they are struggling too.
I raised them by myself so don’t have a partner to talk to or share my pain and emptiness. Friends have fallen dace of the earth and family live far away.
I have looked into counselling as needed someone to understand me, I’m like a broken record on constant repeat. I drink, more than usual. Went back to work 2 weeks ago but work from home, not ready to face people but only because of financial aspect, not because I wanted to. Thought it might help to keep my head busy but spend more time talking to him and crying then actually working 
Thank you both, I really thought I was going mad.
Nice to share and support. Xx
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What a wonderful brave woman you are . Having no partner for support. You’ve gone back to work. That’s a great achievement on it’s own after your loss . We’ve got this. Sometimes your better on your own.it will never leave us . Sending my love. Thinking of you x
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Thank you, Maggie. It’s nice to be able to talk on here and share. Xx
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Dear Dally
It’s been just over a year since I also lost my beautiful son, he was 25. I felt exactly the same as you, I didn’t eat at all for over a week and then it was the odd bit of fruit.
You are still in shock, such early days where you feel the pain all over you and life has lost its purpose.
A year on, I still ache to be with him but I also meet friends, went away for a few days with my other son and am about yo book a week away in the sun.
It’s like a black cloud that hangs over you but you will smile again, laugh at something on TV, shop for something new to wear…it will never be the same again and sadness will overwhelm you but it won’t be so raw.
Hang on
Life won’t be like it was but it won’t feel as awful as it feels right now.
Anne x
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Dear Ajth
I’m so sorry, how awful for you.
The funeral is so painful, I remember it all so clearly. You feel in such shock. If you need to cry do it, some days no tears come at all then suddenly that’s all you do again.
It is a darkness, a dark cloud that stays with us constantly but there will be moments of small pleasures again. It will never be the same but if you have good friends around you it helps and the shocking rawness of it fades if only slightly.
You can say whatever you are feeling on this page, we all know your pain, you are not alone.
Anne x
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Hi ajth thought about you yesterday hope all went as well as it could .its so hard your arranging this day like a crazy person then everyones gone . Ifeel more alone now .and sadder 7 months on . Thats me jss i comfort eat cant stop .this forum all these sad people .its wicked always someone new going through such despair. Hi dally i understand like jss all we are going through .i lost my son sam 25 .he was ill for four months only .had a rare sarcoma a cancer that went everywhere my baby gone nothing makes sense all i know if i couldnt speak on here i would be completely lost i have a partner .but he wont talk about sam and i want to. I dealt with everything on my own really .i thank god to be able to say anything take care everyone thank you so much h for being there zoe x
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Dear Zoe and all. It is a living nightmare for sure but somehow we manage to carry on. I have had a couple of bad days as a FB memory photo appeared of Lisa’s baby shower December 2015. She was so radiant. Brooke was born on the 11th January 2016, delivered by section 34 weeks due to her lung condition. Nobody could believe she had anything wrong her, she always looked amazing. Tragically she died 3 years 7 months after this photo. At least we have her baby girl now nearly 6 and our elder daughter who adores her. Our son in law is a fantastic father. We are blessed but the pain of Lisa’s passing will never leave us.
Be strong dear friends, we hold hands together here, giving each other strength. X
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Hi Dally , I am so sorry you have had to join to join this site with our little family, pehaps when you are ready please tell us more about yourself and an dc what you are going through . Everything ,you are going through we have all been
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Oh kate , what a beautiful photo of Lisa . She looks beautiful and so healthy , that’s what I find so hard to bear. One year before Dawn passed she looked healthy, although we knew she was suffering . but she always looked beautiful like Lisa. Been very down this week very weepy , can’t believe it’s the 5 anniversary Saturday. So we will get her her usual blue sparkly balloon .and go out for the day , just to get through the awful day . With love to all Maddie xxx
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Thankyou Maddie. I will be thinking of you on Saturday. So hard for you.
With love, Kate x
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Thankyou Kate x
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Such a lovely photo of your beautiful girl, Kate. I am weepy this week too as we head towards Christmas.
Maddie, I will be thinking of you on Saturday … the hardest of days for you. But you will get through it as we all do as we find the strength from somewhere.
Sending you both huge hugs and much love
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Hi kate what a beautiful picture .i bet her little girl reminds you all the time .dont matter it seems how long .we have to carry the sorrow and sadness .this first xmas without sam just dont seem real .just keep thinking come on sam walk in the door . Thinking of you all with love xx
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