Hi Dally
I have something similar, I don’t care what anyone thinks, it’s my way of honouring my son
I think your photo of your son, your candles and christmas tree are all gorgeous
Anne xxx
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This is beautiful Deborah
Anne x
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Dear Dally,
It looks beautiful 
I am so glad this site and all the lovely caring people on it are helping you, we are the only people who truly understand, I have my son Matt’s pictures everywhere and light candles every night, it helps me to feel close to him by letting him know he is constantly in our thoughts take care Dally we are all here for you , much love Michelle xxx
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Looks beautiful Deborah, sending you much love
Michelle xxxx
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It looks lovely Anne,You are so right we don’t care what people think, we do what we have to do to get through each day and I am sure when we light our candles and talk to their pictures our precious children are with us 
Love Michelle xxx
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Beautiful all our beautiful girls and boys .hope there all flying high an d at peace xx
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Dear Dally, I joined this group just 6 weeks after losing Lisa. My heart ache, physically ached. I thought I would die of the pain her loss had left me with. I could barely eat or think joined up. These friends here lifted me up to a place of caring and comfort that no others could do. It’s because only we know how bad it feels. It’s 2 and a half years now. I still weep at times but I am healing. We have photos all over the house of both our girls, from childhood to adult. It helps little Brooke to remember her Mother’s face too.
Move forward in your own time. It will come but its different for all of us.
Take care, sending love to you. Kate xx
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Dear All, I joined this group 3 years ago, after losing my precious girl. For the first few months I could barely eat or sleep. I didn’t want to be here, even though I have 2 other beautiful children, but the pain was so overwhelming.
I have gradually surfaced and feel calmer. I could not have done it without everyone on here. You have all been the most amazing support to me, as you are the only ones who truly understand. I now know that I will carry on and honour my darling girls life, be here for her boys and my other children. I have said before that I feel that I will live my life with an undercurrent of sadness, but forever trying to hide it xxx
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Lovely to see all the photos of our babies, how beautiful they look 
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And how we are all lighting the candles and other little things that surround the photos. So beautiful 
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This group has got me through so much with care and support I send love to all on here I lost Matt 7/11/21 at 31 sudden death but I honestly think it doesn’t matter when you lost your child the pain especially at Christmas is hell on Earth xxx
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Hello Ajth, my son was 36 and I didn’t know he was going to knave me either, I think that is worse when it’s so unexpected, not that it makes much difference even if your child is ill, you still pray they will recover.
Be strong, this a very hard time for us all. 
Hi kate read back over your messages its heartbreaking .what this life puts us through .your support is amazing .i thank god i found this site .i dont talk to many people about sam .i think i would be crazy without this .can say anything and its ok . Love to everyone for there support love zoe xx
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Hi Kate and Victoria P, I am encouraged that you feel you have moved on a little as you are further down the line than me and that in the beginning your physical as well as emotional pain was so bad that you wanted to or felt like you would die. However I still feel as bad as I did in the beginning and it is 7 months now. I really don’t know how much more I can take, maybe because it’s christmas it is holding back my progress. Even though everyone is still being sympathetic I feel they think I should be getting over it now and are thinking I am weak which makes me feel more worthless and a failure . When did you start seeing a glimmer of hope ?
Thanks love jss
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Dear JSS,
It seemed to happen gradually although I did have to make conscious decisions at times to try and lift myself up. I am forever changed, I am not the same person I was before I lost Gemma. My GP warned me that it would change me and people would have to get used to the new me and I think she was right. My concentration suffered and is still not as good as it was. I do get upset a lot easier and so try to avoid stressful situations. My daughter died very suddenly so it was a huge shock.
I think it probably took me a year before I felt anywhere near ‘normal’ again. I still get bad days but I just think ‘tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be better’.
Try and live a day at a time … it is baby steps.
You’ll get there and will make yourself and your family proud. Much love to you
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Hi darling. You are feeling the way we all felt. The first anniversary was awful but I think I started to feel a bit better after that. It’s really hard to say as I still have bad days after two and a half years . What gave me a bit of a lift was when Jamie got the new house and he and Brooke moved in. It was a relief as I hated going to their old place as I kept thinking Lisa would just walk out of ths kitchen with her beautiful smile. It hurt so much.
You will get better, little by little but it takes a long time a d to be truthful you will never get over the loss of your child. People don’t understand, it’s not like losing another relative, these are our children.
Little steps my love.
Kate xxx
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Hi jss i feel like you .im going through the motions but have a big brick in my heart weighing me down . Its a saddness so deep the pain is unbearable .theres no time on grief .every day is different i feel angry with everyone and want to scream ive lost my son. But what would it do . But everyone here understands .lifes going to be different now i get that .but still expect to see sam sitting there. My daughter jess has had to very real dreams sam has come to her and told her hes ok …last night she dreamt she couldnt make up her mind about take away and she said there he was in front of her saying get pizza he laughed and said nothing changes he cuddled her but she woke up . I would love to dream about him but i dont … love to all zoe xx
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For all of us who have lost a Son or Daughter Christmas is never easy, but for those of you who have recently lost a child and it’s your first Christmas without them it will be extremely emotional .When you see other people out enjoying themselves you will feel so envious of them and you will keep asking(Why my child it’s just not fair) but somehow you will find the strength to get you through…and you will have the love and help of everyone on this site to guide you. It’s something we have to learn to walk along side of.
Love to all…xxx
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Yes Zoe we are close in time on our grief journey , you April me May, but it’s not anger with me it’s guilt which is killing me that I can’t get past, going over and over what I should have done if only I had known better. If maybe I had done this or not done that he could still be here now. Two of his friends have had very clear dreams of him , one dreamed he had a phone call from him and said he was ok the other saw him and he was fine , laughing and she said you must tell your mom you are ok , but I am still waiting . How can they be so full of life one minutes and gone the next ?
Love jss x💔
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I know jss everyone has that i think how did we not know sam was so ill .it can eat you away the what ifs .i think its whats ment to be . Like you i cant get good memorys in my head .only the sadness .my sam died on the 27th april that was my mums birthday . Did she say come on sam im here .its crazy his funeral was 25 th may .itsike yesterday .what we have to think jss they would hate us sad .sam was a very positive layed back person. He would say come on mum its ok . This time of year its so hard Nd you have a birthday too. I was angry it was sams birthdY 25 on 12 March it was such a force sad day life is so hard. Thinking of you jss always here
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Hi Dally,
It’s 5 years for me and I haven’t moved forward all that has happened is that now my grief at losing my son walks beside me, at times overwhelming me and at other lapping at my feet just like waves.
love
Helen
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