I totally agree Marina, this is the worst time of year for us all. But we have no choice we have to get through
love
Helen
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Hello JSS,
The physical pain and the emotional pain is awful, I walked around like a zombie for a long time. It is as Victoria and Kate said vey very baby steps, steps you donāt even realise you are taking. Give yourself time my love. You wont get over losing your child but you will learn to accept it eventually. They never leave us because we tuck them safely in our heart and when our times comes to close our eyes they will be there waiting. Remember for them time is the blink of an eye. I am 5 years down the line and still cannot stay in the house on and near Samās anniversary 9th December even now 15th December my tree is not up, I will have to do it because of the grandchildren somehow.
love Helen
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Deborah,
How beautiful,
love Helen
It seems everyone is feeling su ch pain at the moment .doesnt matter if it is weeks or years the pain unbearable . We all want our precious children back . And trying to carry on without them is unbearable . Last weekend I was so touchy on Dawns anniversary as no one in the family contacted me .I have now fallen out with my other daughter Sarah and I know now it will never ever be repaired . At the time I almost cracked up , I didnāt want to be here anymore . But John has seen me through it . So have to be here for him . Bless him he is 83 . Dawn would hate what we are going through . And itās all happened since she has left us.,Grief has taken over what used to be a happy family Love to all Maddie xx
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Hi Zoe,
No one understands unless they have walked or are walking in our shoes, they cannot comprehend. My friend Jean has a friend who is a grief counsellor and her words were its like you are on a treadmill going round and round and then you see an exit and take it and then suddenly something happens a word a thought a song and you are back on that treadmill again. Jean went to see her to ask how she could help me, she said just let her talk.
love Helen
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Ahh Helen thanks, i love your words. It would be so reassuring to have your faith, that I might see him again , I donāt know what I believe anymore , but itās nice you say time is but a blink of the eye for them as I think he would be missing me to .
Love jss x
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Thanks all for your lovely words. I light the candles every night to show my daughter that I will never forget her and the love we shared and still do as I know that she is with me and I will see her again one day. We all walk a path that we donāt want to but walk it we do as we have others around us that need us and I for one do not want to pass on my pain to another. My daughter Charlotte is expecting a baby in March and I have to be here for her, at times I donāt want to be but I just keep getting up every day and putting one foot in front of the other. I am a robot with no feelings except grief for my darling daughter which I feel guilty about sometimes but it is what it is. I might feel differently one day but one year on and it hasnāt changed. I thank you all for your love and support 
Love in affinity Deborah xx
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Hi Maddie,
Remember stand stock still and strong, Sarah is I think like Geraint very self centred but eventually she will realise just what she has lost and what she has or could have. Hardest thing in the world to do, nothing and believe me I know. It will repair but please be strong, stronger than you have ever been. Sarah still has a lot of grief and guilt Geraint still cannot face the day, yet I have to carry on, you are in the same boat, we are strong because we have no choice whatsoever
Love Helen
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Oh maddie so sorry to hear youve fallen out with your daughter .grief does things to familys i hope in time you can mend your rift .thinking of you xx
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Hi Helen thats such a good way to explain it . Yes i need to talk. I like to talk about sam but people do everything to avoid the subject its upsetting . Our children was here lived a short life i need to talk they are so precious the memories this time last year he was here its just so mucked up .so wrong love zoexx
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Dearest Maddie, as we talked about this morning, live your life with John and do nice things together. Pack some favourite clothes and have a lovely holiday. Sarah will come round, she will be feeling upset too and wonāt want to fall out for ever.
I think one of the most difficult things for us now is managing relationships as everything gets confused, people act out of character and we are all going round in circles with our grief. Give her time and space.
Lots of love and hugs xxx
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Hi its one year today since my daughters funeral. Iāve been trying to be strong all day but Iāve just collapsed in a heap sobbing. My poor girl, I just canāt cope 
Deborah xx
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Dear Deborah,
Am sorry 
all these anniversaries it so hard, also to be surrounded by everything to do with Christmas unbearable, we are all here for you , keep posting, sending you much love and hugs
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Hi Deborah,
It is so hard my love, collapse in a heap weāve all done it and we all understand.
Stay strong for your other children as hard as it might be
Love helenš
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So sorry Deborah , yes I find 28 th December a day I cannot cope as thatās when we said goodbye to her , so she was in the most horrendous place I cannot even say it . after she passed away on the 11th . My thoughts are with dear Deborah . . I so hope you have a better day tomorrow . Victoria Thankyou for your support, you have been my rock , as this week has been so hard after fallen out with Sarah last weekend. Sending love to all dear mothers . Maddie xxxx
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Thank you all for your lovely support. I have calmed down a little. I canāt eat anything but I have a large glass of wine. It helps numb the pain xxx
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Good for you darling. Xxx
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Itās so hard my darling. I know that feeling, when your legs give way and we end up on the floor weeping. We all know here.
Sending love and hugs.
Kate xxx
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Hi Deborah sorry your having such a bad day sending you big hugs .love zoe x
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Dear Deborah, itās horrible, so consuming and confusing. Itās like a see-saw, up and down. Hope that you feel better tomorrow.
Thinking of all on here struggling to cope with the thought of Christmas looming. Itās hard to keep breathing sometimes. What is certain is that the clock doesnāt stop, Christmas will come and go and you will survive.
Love Chris xx
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