Hi marina thank you for your kindness at pressure I go through the motions eating drinking water sleeping basically staying alive so others don’t need to worry about me
It’s so awful when my family call me if they catch me when I am unconsolable they may say what’s wrong or you know Dave wouldn’t want you feel this way
The fact is I do I don’t wish to but I do
Over the years after our son died iv actually been told I enjoy the pain as if I didn’t I’d let it go that was my eldest sister doesn’t know the meaning of compassion but thank you and you take best care you can of yourself too:star:
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They need to walk in our shoes to understand the pain we feel.
With love, Kate xx
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Lisa was 31 as well. She had her 31st in hospital on the 10th Juky 2019. She went to sleep on the 25th.
Breaks my heart over and over when I think of our darling child, her courage was humbling. Not a tear dud she shed. Just clear instructions for us all. We followed them to the letter.
Love to all.
Kate xx
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That’s so so sad I hope you can find just wee hope in knowing how your precious daughter embraced death that takes courage
My hubby was the same never showed emotions but once when he said he hoped he’d still be able to see me every day asked me to stay strong and asked I always remembered how he taught me to be strong and not allow anyone to hurt me I am completely heartbroken nobody understands many years ago our child died I thought the pain would kill me I remember saying to a sister once wear my shoes for one hour feel my pain I said you wouldn’t last 5 minutes simply no understanding on how iv been affected and now this on top I simply hate life
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Dear Michelle
Thank you so much for those words. I knew people here would understand. Just saying out loud that Henry died is so difficult as I know you all know.
I’m still upset…I welled up and had to get a tissue yet no empathy or kindness.
I told two old friends today and they said to avoid her….which I will.
Thanks again Michelle
Love purple x
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Yes so true as I say you need to walk it to understand it
I do understand nobody can help with the pain
But when family see your struggling with everyday tasks and all too busy to offer help well iv had offers of dropping shopping of for me when they see I can barely manage to make a cup of tea it really makes you feel alone listening to them discussing Christmas I feel cut up inside I am not doing Christmas infact I wishing wasn’t here at all for it
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People just cannot even begin to understand how bad this feels. We are all here for each other, you know we will always be here for you.
Much love, Kate xx
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Aw thank you Kate yes nobody understands and nobody should tell you how to grieve there’s no right or wrong way when I call Samaritans and start conversation talking on loss of my child I hear a comforting voice until they ask how long sometimes that comforting voice continues but at times there’s been a change in tone as if there saying get a grip well he’s m6 precious child and it dosnt matter how long part of me is dead inside then on top of that my hubby died 12 weeks ago he was my protector my rock my soulmate here I am with two griefs that are very different yet both heartbreaking I v been up had breakfast now back in bed crying into my tissues going through everyday motions I’d started to cope better in last few years but now hubby gone too I feel so alone thinking this is it for me spending the rest of my life here in this house alone it’s so painful without hubby I hope you can manage to be kind to yourself
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As you say, Kate, we are all going through the same pain and are so understanding of each other. I think we just have to get through Christmas the best we can.
I avoid carol concerts and Christmas music as I become very tearful. I sometimes feel as though I am living in a different world to other people but we do our best.
Much love to you all xxx
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Hi Victoria I agree we’re all going through the same pain only us understand I just count the days down now until it’s all over no traditional dinner or exchanging of gifts but my sons is an adult we made that decision his dad died only 12 weeks ago he was the one whom held us together as a family that getting smaller just not fair
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Dear Anne, I am so sorry you are having to deal with so much loss. Wishing you peace this Christmas xxx
Thank you Victoria as like you I will struggle through best way I can adjusting to living a life alone is hard iv even turned dining chair with back to wall so I am not sitting facing my table I miss my hubby so so much I had so much love for him as he did me you take best care you can sending you hugs
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Oh darling Anne, losing your husband as well, you must be completely broken. There are no words which could even begin to sound appropriate . Just stay with us all here and try to find a way forward. My heart breaks for you.
With love,
Kate xxxx
Oh Anne,
No one can tell you how to grieve, I haven’t put up the Christmas tree this year. I just can’t seem to do it maybe next year if I buy a different one. I lost my son on the 9th Dece mber 2016 he was 34 years old. It doesn’t matter how long it is you will still feel the same. I understand where you are coming from with your husband, John is my second husband and he’s overweight and I worry myself stupid about his health. Someone once said to me it is because you have already lost someone so precious. Take all the time in the World Anne, no one knows or undrstand’s our mindset and our emotions except someone who has walked in our shoes and everyone of us on here.
Take care Anne
With love
Helen
Dear Purple,
Your two old friends are absolutely right avoid her like the plague. I also understand saying Henry died, I still cannot say that I use the word passed.
Please take care and look after yourself
Love Helen
Hi Maddie,
Whyever not you post whatever you like, stand stock still Maddie, as I once said and have done it with Geraint as you know hardest thing in the World to do nothing! Oh and by the way I’ve had my orders for Christmas morning from Geraint and Hannah, could I be up to their house by 10am!! I don;t think John was best pleased. They are so full of themselves.
Love Helen
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Hi samsmum such lovely words yes I have another son adult 40 now so somehow I have to keep going for him there’s 4 sisters in my family my son said why always us it’s 18 years since tragedy torn our family apart our son just 23
You may understand when I say at the start your door goes all the time your phone constantly ringing but it’s only matter of time when you realise actually we’re on our own with this
So when hubby died 12 weeks ago I knew what to expect and yes just the same it didn’t take long before my phone dosnt ting and ring all the time seldom my door knocks and when it dose it’s a max half hour visit only today a family member called me I said we’re not exchanging gifts it’d be to sad just the 2 of us I was asked why don’t I go to my sons instead of him coming here I said it’s still just the two of us we always go to church Christmas morning I was saddened that my sister whom dose go is going Christmas Eve knowing wel be there alone Christmas morning I guess getting her family celebration is more important yet she’s a loving caring person I just couldn’t do that maybe it’s because they don’t understand the full depth of my pain but we’re all here together and somehow someway wel get through iv done 18 years never once put up trimming or tree just hubby making the sparkle for myself and our son so so sad now just the two of us Christmas Day he’s got a great social life so that’s helpful to me .but I don’t even have a friend I had one beautiful friend whom also lost a child we connected sadly she died to same cancer as hubby 3 years ago grief grief and more grief I could write a book on it if it wasn’t to painful I text hubby each day tell him good stuff and bad stuff I ask him come home I know the texts don’t go through then I reply from him to me as I know what he’d say I sound like a crazy lady loosing a child can send you insane I actually thought the pain would physically kill me in the beginning I take multiple types of different medication just helps get me through a day I simply exsist in my lonely house
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Hi everyone the pain is so imense .your right the phone and people do stop coming . sam passed 27 th april its just to hard . Why do these things happen .i would be lost without talking on here god bless you all xxx zoe xxxx
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Dear Anne
My heart breaks for you my friend 
Please know we are all here for you. You are so brave and honest with your feelings .
After I lost Henry, my younger son, a friend told me nothing could ever be worse and if I survived, then I could survive anything. I’m still here.
We all do go on…they are waiting for us.
I’m thinking of you and sending love and a big hug
Purple xx
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Hi Zoe yes I would be lost if I could not come on here to, no one else can understand. To be honest most the time I don’t even want to see any one anymore, what can they say, what can they change, how can they understand? I just think they must be sick of hearing me say the same thing, can’t change what has already happened can’t make it better again. My sister came today who is as good as gold , but I just said I was going out for a walk, she said she would come with me, but I said no it’s ok. I could hardly have strung a sentence together and I think she got it.
I am listening to West life “ i’ll see you again” on repeat , that’s all I can hope for that I will see my boy again even if it’s just in my dreams xx
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