Victoria is right on the button you are a breath of fresh air. You write as you feel and you are correct because people feel awkward around you they try to avoid you. I have friends Sally, Janice Sue Jean and Dee. In fairness Jean went to a counsellor and asked how to I start a conversation with my friend who has lost her son…she is amazing, Dee well she wasw there all the time never left my side and I can say the same for Sally and Sue. they all talk to me and bring Sam into the conversation. I consider myself so lucky to have them all as friends. There were a few mind I thought were friends what is it they say fair weather friends even though I had known them for over 30 years I haven’t seen them since the funeral. Kate met Sally, Janice and Sue when we all went to Strathpeffer.
Yet even now 5 years on it does hit when you least expect it like today, I feel absolutely terrible and am just crying I know Sam will be sad and will want me to pull myself together so I will try.
My dear Helen sorry your so sad today . Hope your feeling a little better now . You always say to me chat to sam .so today im saying thank you for thinking of me and you chat to your lovely sam … it dont seem possible a year has passed Helen .its still so unreal xx
You’ve taken a big step going back to work…I hope it feels positive. Routine is helpful whatever is going on in our lives.
I’d just been offered a job when I lost my son so I couldn’t start. Haven’t worked since…but I’m ok retired.
Someone said on here to me…to cast my mind back to how I was at the beginning of this awful journey… …and then how I was now. I’m definitely more together most of the time now… .I’m sure you’ll find work makes a positive difference…keeping your head busy.
Dear Purple, yes we get to brave it all a bit better but a friend said to me recently that there is a deep sadness in my eyes that I didn’t have before. She said people will see that in you without asking what had happened.
I know it’s true as I can see it myself.
I get that kate . I feel i have that sadness .its a emptyness…
This time last year .this night sam came to life. He talked about his happy childhood powerrangers.the rock he said he was wrestling the rock whom he loved .and was on a game show .he talked about holidays and fun .his voice had come back deep.he made me and jess chuckle.
He had about 8 pillows and they was our bugbear tryin to make him comfy .he threw them on the floor and laughed he didnt want them .strange i thought. He went up and down on the electric chair i said becare your fall he laughed .he said mum dont make me lay in that bed anymore the hospital bed in the front room .i said no its fine stay in chair he was so weak .he was going to the hospice tomorrow . That night i held his hand why he drifted as always .we had slept in the front room for four months .sam woke at three seemed very relaxed went a little wee i held his hand saying ,night love you .i said .my hand in your hand love you always and forever .i actually slept woke at 8 i looked at sam asleep as i had seen him at three he was gone .my only blessing he had a peaceful passing that he deserved a sleep in his home in the front room .our beautiful brave superhero .our giant my son .my bestfriend xxx
Dear Zoe,
You have been on my mind today, I came on to send you a msg and it said you were typing so I came back on just read your msg and my heart breaks for you, I am so glad though to hear your precious Sam was in such good spirits the night he passed, he knew you were in the room with him and he went peacefully in his sleep there is no good way to loose our children but feel that being in his own home surrounded by the love of his family would have been what he wanted if you can tomorrow focus on the happy memories just as Sam did that night, as he would want you to do this, I’m sending you gentle hugs and love to get you through tomorrow take care.
Michelle xxxx
Michelle thank you so much . Matt must be so proud of you .i would be so lost without this lifeline. I feel like i know you and weve never met thank you so much for your kind words.im going to try be brave like my sam and your matt night night much love zoe
Beautiful photo of a courageous young man. You are a proud and loving Mother. You were there for him when he needed you most. He will always be at your side watching over you.
Dearest Zoe, as others have said, you must be so proud of Sam, such a lovely young man and he felt so safe and loved being at home with his mum. I think that is how we would all like to go, surrounded by our mother’s love and care. There is no greater love.
Thank you for sharing the beautiful photo of your Sam. Much love to you xxx
Hi Zoe - sending you my heartfelt wishes for some peace and for you. You carry a heavy load, I wish you peace and strength. I will be thinking of you today, x
Sending you all my love today Zoe, Sam was a very courageous young man and got to stay at home with you., where he knew he will be with you today listen carefully and you will hear him
Dear Zoe
Thinking about you and your family today and sending so much love.
You have come so far and are stronger and braver than you think.
Sam is with you today and every day, reminding you of the happiness and love you shared and still share.
Love and hugs 🫂
Ann x
there is no good way to loose our children but feel that being in his own home surrounded by the love of his family would have been what he wanted 