For some it works for some it doesn’t but it’s worth giving it a try. You have nothing to loose. Think we all will try anything at all if it eases the pain Jim
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Hello Racy
You’ve got to try things and see what’s right for you. A lot of people on here haven’t found counselling much help, needing to talk to someone who has actually experienced what we are experiencing, which is why these chats are so helpful. EVERYONE on here knows what it’s like to have lost the light of your life. I don’t know about other therapy. Some have found psychics comforting. And meditation.
I personally have found some books and online resources helpful.
I hope you find something that works for you, dear one.
Love and hugs, Ann xx
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Thank you for your response
I have been reading books on grief and also reading articles on the internet. Like I said I think being on here has helped me more than anything I can talk to people that are on the same road that I am and they understand.
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Thank you yes that is so true!
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I really do understand your pain. My son died 8 months ago aged 36, nothing prepares us for this devastating loss.
I ask myself … how would he want me to be, sometimes I think I know, other times I am at a complete loss, but I do know that giving up would never be what he would want.
Life is precious and it is so important to try not to waste the life we have been blessed with. If we can, we need to make every second count, if not for ourselves, but to honour the memory of that very special person.
Here is a huge hug to remind you that you are not alone.
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Hi Beth , I also lost my son nearly 6 months ago and he was just 36 . I find I can be fine one minute then like a huge wave comes over me and I’m crying like a baby , I keep hearing the Doctor telling me , sorry but your son didn’t make it , and I’m thinking no surely he can’t be talking about my son because he is a fit , healthy guy. But then reality hits me. The pain is hard to bear but like everyone on here we’ve got to battle on day by day . Big love to you all , Pete
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Beth, friends here all feel your pain, the crazy stuff that’s going through your head, the physical affects of grief which none of us expect.
It’s 3 years on Monday 16th that was the last time we spent with our Lisa, in the garden and a brief lunch at the Deli before she went to get her pre holiday hair cut.
She dropped off Jeeves their dog and Brooke her baby then just 3 years old. Next day we passed on the road. She was heading to ours with wedding flowers for me to deliver and set in place on tbe Saturday.
They headed to Aberdeen that evening to fly to Majorca.
The next time I saw her she was on life support.
Nothing prepares us for the shock, no matter how we have lost our children. However, we all share the same turmoil day after day after day. The what ifs , the why our child, the guilt the blame and anger. It never really goes away but somehow we learn to live with it.
My eyes are red and swollen, my heart aches tonight but I will survive tomorrow and share my feelings with you all.
Being here saves us all I think.
Much love
Kate xx
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Hello dear Kate , isn’t it strange how we can remember every minute of every day . I can remember the whole of 2016 , the last year we had Dawn , the worse year of our lives. Sending love to you and all dear parents . Maddie xxx
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Thankyou dear friend. Where would we be without each other to share our souls. Its much deeper than just feelings its our deepest deepest thoughts.
Much love.
Kate xx
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Dear Beth
I’ve said this before, but not to you, but I agree so much with the things you say.
My daughter, who left us early March, wanted us to get on with life. She was so brave and so wise, always one for just getting on with things without fuss. She’d understand us being sad and missing her, but as you say her memory, all our children’s memories, deserve to be honoured. It’s about THEM, not us, and hard as it is we need to live for them, to honour them.
Much love 
Ann x
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Dear Kate, Thinking of you tomorrow, I know words can’t take the pain away but to know that you and your family are being thought of will help to ease it slightly.
With love Marina xxx
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It bloody socks doesn’t it! The memories just keep rearing up.
Love to you.
Kate xx
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Sucks! Not socks.x
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I know what you mean, even the happy memories that we shared with them when they were alive are now so sad… Marina.xxx
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Hi Pete
If we could just have those last few days again, just a few more moments to let them know how loved they are… just a little more time to find out more… just another chance to do things differently, each of us would grab that if we could.
Andrew, my son, used to say, "no one can die your death just as no one could be born for you " .
I try to find comfort in his wisdom that was far beyond his years, but somehow, the what ifs keep coming back over and over and over again. Nothing makes any sense, maybe one day that will change.
Take care
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Hi Beth and everyone,
I’ve not been saying much today…a bad day I’m afraid. Just finding it harder and harder to think I’ll never see my son again.
I see from your posts Beth that your son was also called Andrew. I always called Andrew…Andrew …but all his friends called him Andy. I always have thought it was a lovely name. Andrew was 38 his 39th birthday is July 5th. He wasn’t in a relationship when he died and he doesn’t have any children. He just left his beloved dog Ash who is now being looked after by Andrew’s dad, my ex husband. I always assumed Andrew would meet the love of his life and maybe have children one day. He was so caring, honest, kind and loving. Such a beautiful soul…He was so happy with what he had…happy to have enough to pay his bills, enough for food, heating. His car was old and comfortable…he didn’t need a new one. His settees were old and comfortable…he wasn’t bothered about buying new ones. He was a qualified gas heating engineer but was happy working for a property maintenance company fitting bathrooms, kitchen plumbing etc as it gave him a more laid back work/life balance.
I know I should be happy that his last few years WERE happy for him but I’m so totally heartbroken for the future that he’s missed and I’ve missed sharing with him. I can’t see how I’ll ever be able to accept that he’s gone…that he’ll never hug me again or laugh at me concentrating on my driving as he sits beside me pulling silly faces.
I keep saying it but I miss him so much, my son, my best friend.
Love and hugs…Sue xxxx
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Hi kate sending you big hugs .our heads are full of dates .thinking of you .be kind to yourself much love zoe
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Thankyou all for being here with me. Yes the significance of dates are hard to deal with no matter how long ago we lost our precious children.
Yes I will be kind to myself. Alan and I are off to a garden centre this morning. Since the February storms initially seemed to destroy our garden, with 3 massive trees gone we have another 20 feet or so of garden to fill.
Sun is shining too.
Much love, Kate
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Dear Kate,
Thinking of you today, hope you manage to keep busy, Lisa will be with you and Alan especially when your outdoors I always feel closer to Matt whilst we are out walking or in the garden, there seems so many anniversaries to get through, people don’t realise it’s not just the day they passed but the last time we were with them, birthdays, the date of the funeral etc all these dates just bring it all back and make our hearts ache 
someone posted on Facebook on Sunday to share that 3 years ago Matt was repatriated back to the UK and we went to Brize Norton to see a coffin with a union jack flag over it been carried off the plane by Matt’s Brothers, this was like another funeral, I’m not sure why this person shared this memory but I know they meant well but it was hard to see, we are all here for each other and understand totally how we all feel on these anniversaries and I am sending you love and gentle hugs to take you through the rest of today 
Michelle xxxx
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Dear Kate, sending you love on this awful day for you.
Michelle you are so right about days, dates, etc.
It’s not a date for me, but it’s 2 months to the day since my Katherine’s funeral. So not one of my best days.
Love and hugs 🫂 to everyone xx
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