Oh maddie im so sorry . All the waiting for tests and results are agonising .lets hope iits ok . .even waiting for treatment . As you know i had breast cancer . I know the waiting is the worst this life is just all wrong .i say prayers for you and your family .sending you strength love zoe xx
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Thankyou Zoe , we thought end of this week we would know what sort of testament Sarah would be having . Now we have to wait untill the 13th for another test , which we thought would be clear . Hope you are well now dear Zoe , you have suffered so much . Seems like we are all being punished , xxx
Hello All,
I have been seeing all of your posts, and I am so sorry Maddie that you are going through all of this with Sarah. My mother had another meltdown (she is 88) and gets quite nasty when she doesnāt get her own way. I caught her out lying yesterday I have a friend who is a carer who has taken on my mum 2 days a week. So that is how I found out about the lies. When I got to my mumās I took her out for a ride, she said she misses Roy so much (that was her husband of 46 years) and then turned and said losing a husband is so much worse than losing a son. She has said this before, many times and eah time it hurts so much.
Love Helen
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Oh Maddie i know all too well what these results/ waiting games feel like. Feeling on edge, sick with anxiety and not being able to think straight. Sarah will be so worried and all you can do is be there for her and her family. Its so hard and we feel so utterly helpless.
Will be thinking of you as i close my eyes tonight.
Sending love and strength.
Much love, Kate xx
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Thankyou Helen , people. can say such insensitive things and itās like a pain in the heart , especially from your own Mother , and also Sam being her Grandsom. Thankyou Kate waiting game is terrible , nothing else matters but to get Sarah better , I feel like I am walking round in a trance , John is being brave , but when I look over he seems to be in another world . How could this be happening again . You certainly feel helpless . Take care maddie xx
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Dearest Maddie, it is so hard for you all and I know how brave you are being for Sarah. The waiting must be agony for you and I canāt imagine how hard it all is. As you said the other evening, it is good that Sarah went to the hospital when she did so they are getting all the tests doneā¦
You are in my thoughts all the time.
Much love to you xxx
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Thankyou Victoria , it was just a shock when she said they rang this morning and they have found something in her bowel , when they said the rest of her body was ok . But yes so pleased she took herself off to hospital , hopefully that will be a bonus to have caught it early . Sending love Maddie xxx
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Sounds like my Mother in Law. Who said to me when my Mother was dying that i was a bitch for going to be with her when i had two young children to look after. She said it wasnt hers or Alans job to look after our children when my mother was in hospital.
Helen, you are a truly lovely, warm and caring person and you dont deserve comments like that from you own Mother.
Sending love and hugs.
Kate xx
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Dear Maddie,
Am so sorry to hear Sarah has got to wait for more tests 
it must be agony for you, keep staying strong for her and if you feel a melt down coming on just come on here and we will be here for you, sending you the bigest hug 
Love from Michelle xxxx
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Dear Helen,
Feeling a bit lost for wordās, your Mother is a horrid person! I remember you telling us about when she said something like this yo you before, i know shes old but unless she has full blown dementia there isnt really any excuse.
Think you should have a bit of a break from her and take care of you .
Sending you much love Michelle xxxx
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I cannot believe your own mother would say something as hurtful as that!!! Incredible! Iāve been married for 45 years and very likely heāll go before me, seeing as heās quite a bit older. But in NO way will his death resemble anything like the kids if my son Joey! My husband Larry agrees 100%! Of course Iāll miss him and feel sorrow but it will not in any way resemble the searing, constant pain that Joeyās death has caused. Poor poor you , Helen! Thinking of you! Iām afraid I would never have been able to keep my thoughts to myself and I would have laid into her big time!
Oops - this message was meant for Samsmum! I made a mistake somehow and donāt know how to change it!
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I have lost both my husband and a son. For me, losing a child is the worst thing that possibly happen to anyone.
When my husband died (suddenly) 17 years ago, we were all shocked and saddened. But I had my three children to comfort me and as time went by I got on with my life and learned to be happy again.
My eldest child, Oliver, died in April last year. He died from a brain tumour, after three years of hope and fear. He bravely went through various treatments and seemed to be overcoming it, getting on with normal life again at times. But the tumour re-grew and took his life.
We are all heartbroken. I am sad for my remaining children who loved their brother dearly and supported him through his illness. I am intensely sad for Oliverās wife, who took good care of him until the end, and for his children who have lost a beloved daddy.
For me, as a mother, the pain is indescribable. Sadly, all of you on this site know what this pain feels like. The loss of a child also leaves you feeling angry at the world - the unfairness - itās not the natural order of things. Life no longer seems worth living, but we have to keep going for the other people we love. Itās a hard path to tread.
Thanks to all of you who share their sorrows on this site. May we all find the strength to face this new year in front of us, may we learn to find some kind of peace and contentment again.
Sending my love out there to you all - Susan J.
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Hi Susan
My son Sam also died of a brain tumour, I know the fear and hope you went through, Sam stayed with us for four and a half years and like Oliver after an operation and chemo and radiotherapy it regrew in a place they couldnāt operate, This is a devastating disease like all cancers but brain cancer treatment has not progressed. His neuro surgeon said there are only three types of cancer we can use the word cure wth if we catch it early are breast, womb and testicular.
love
helen
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Unfortunately, Helen, testicular cancer is not always curable. My Joey suffered terribly for 16 months and it took his life three months ago. It seems that the tumours treated by one of the key ingredients of the chemotherapy protocol used - cisplatin - become resistant. Even second line salvage chemo stopped working on his tumours, which had metastasised to his lungs, liver, spine and eventually brain. They threw everything but the kitchen sink at him - but even high density chemotherapy and an autologous stem cell transplant proved to be ineffective.
A nasty nasty disease cancer. Plus it reacts differently to so many people.
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Oh Joeyās mum
I am so sorry, it is such a dreadful disease, It seems to hide until it is too late, which is what happened with Sam. Like Joey, they tried everything but to no avail. It is the wrong v order it should be us that they are mourning not the other way round.
Love Helen
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To go through the agony and anxiety of watching your beloved child suffer is unbearable. We would have changed places with them if we could.
Iām so sorry your own mother is not able to comfort you in your loss, Helen. Perhaps her own grief has overwhelmed her, and sheās unable to acknowledge the suffering of others.
It sounds like you are a lovely daughter, to take your mum out for a ride.
I hope you have other people around you who are loving and supportive.
But I truly think that losing a child is infinitely worse than losing a parent or partner.
Thatās why we come onto this site - to share our feelings with other bereaved parents.
Susan
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Hi fear friend , this week as been torture , . We have been to see Sarah nd my first r, but my heart is aching , she doesnāt eaction was she looked bloated and I put my foot in it straight away asking if she was ok, and she said mum itās the steroids . . She is being so strong , I donāt any negative reactions , I am going to beat this , although she has told us itās a fast growing cancer . . Next week week she meets with the Lymphoma team , starts chemo Wedneday and Camry into her bowel Friday . as therevisvsomething , but hopefully nothing to worry about . . , but Itās her husband 50 Birthday today everything on hold . And Sarah is 50 in April , they had so much planned , and everything has had to be cancelled . . I know we have had our difference after losing Dawn ,
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But Sarah really didnāt deserve this . Maddie xxx
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Omg Maddie, what a nightmare for Sarah and you all. Goodness knows sarah didnt deserve this nor any if you having to go through this again. My heart goes out to you dear Maddie. To be honest i am completely stuck for words. This is just an awful time for you. Will be thinking of you all the time.
Love and hugs, Kate
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Hi maddie
Such an awful time the waiting then the treatment .i think of you all the time .sending you love and strength. This life is so very hard the shit it throws at us look after yourself big hugs zoe xx
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