Thank you dear girl. You are so kind. I don’t know how bad that must feel.
Yes we are both lucky to live where this is love and support.
Hope your day is good and filled with love.xxx
Morning Kate,
Sorry you had a bad day yesterday, I can relate to that alright.seems like its more bad than good ,even after nearly 3 years. I find the best way is to keep as busy as we can, We are lucky that we can go on a few breaks and nice holidays. Like Dawn I am a planner ,so I am always planning where our next trip will be .it does take the grieving a while, although when I am away I talk to people about Dawn,all the time ,even if they don’t want to hear it. I am not going to let people forget Dawn, as if she didn’t exist. Enjoy your coffee morning, its nice to know you have some good friends .
Take care Maddie xx
Thankyou. It was a funny morning really. One of the friends’ step brother was killed in a motorbike accident last Friday. She was having a bad day today. Someone is always going through something awful.
Much better now that I am home and tackling the jungle of our garden having had virtually no maintenance for 8 weeks or so apart from grass cutting. The aching limbs are are a reminder that I am living and hopefully fit enough to help care for our granddaughter for a good while yet but I was 38 when I had Lisa and 69 now but very active and fortunate that I look much younger. I think my girls kept me on my toes and made me keep active by doing everything with them from mountain biking to horse riding. Physical work seems to be the one thing that works for me just now.
Much love to you. Xxxxx
Hello Kate
Like you I lived like that for 4 years never knowing quite enough I would ask Sam how did you get on today (at say his mri) and all he would say is I’m fine mum so had to be content with that, and you’re right it was stomach churning but I too miss it. Xxxhele
Strange as it seems but so true. I would give anything to be getting worked up before her next check up! So sad today as its 7 weeks this afternoon when I sat watching her sleep. I had bought Brooke a new outfit from Mark’s and Spencer and had taken it in to show her. She was asleep peacefully and I just sat and watched her.
The next night she was gone. Xx
Hello Kate ,
Yes when they took back into hospital ,she seem to get better for a few days, and I was so pleased.Then we went in to see her on the Tuesday evening and she was very tired, then went in Wednesday I could not understand what was the matter with her , her eyes were sort of open , but she wasn’t seeing us , I did not realise she was in the first stagesof going into a deep coma. The worse day when we went in Thursday morning she had all sorts of tubes in ,and she was fitting realy bad, that’s when the doctors told us ,they would only give her a couple of days ,and that’s what she had, She passed away December 11th at 2 15 am 2016. And life changed forever. xxx
Hello Kate
Like you Victoria maddie marina and Wynne. All of us get bad days it’s the price we pay for loving them but they would expect us to carry on which you like us all are trying to do. However any of our children left us it was too soon it’s not the right order. Please take care of yourself and just take each day as it comes. Some days you’ll feel able to cope and others it will overwhelm you. Grief is just like the sea, sometimes it laps at your feet gently reminding you its there and other times it’s a huge wave that knocks you off your feet but either way you eventually stand.
With love
Helen
Dear Helen and all,
Your description of grief as a wave is so accurate and very apt for me right now. I am having a very bad week and tearful all the time. I can hardly speak to anyone and just feel so down. I am tired and worn down but restless as well it’s so hard.
Sorry to be depressing but tomorrow I am going to make a big effort, keep myself busy and try to raise my mood so I hope I feel better. Much love to you all xxx
Dear Helen and all,
Your description of grief as a wave is so accurate and very apt for me right now. I am having a very bad week and tearful all the time. I can hardly speak to anyone and just feel so down. I am tired and worn down but restless as well it’s so hard.
Sorry to be depressing but tomorrow I am going to make a big effort, keep myself busy and try to raise my mood so I hope I feel better. Much love to you all xxx
My dear, yes life changes beyond belief doesn’t it. Everywhere we go we are reminded of them in some way. I took my granddaughter swimming and of course it was her Mummy who used to take her and I would go for a swim and sauna. It’s hard with the other Mums and toddlers who are in her group. Its Granny now taking her. Then to the garden centre for some lunch and Lisa would always go and get us a coffee after our food. I found myself looking for her in the till queue!
It’s still early days for me and my family but like you I can remember every moment of her death and its haunting but I felt today again that I can remember her as she was in good health and not turning blue! Lifes a bitch as they say.
With love to you. Xx
Helen, Kate, Maddie, and all. Thank you for your kind support. This week has been atrocious. An anniversary a parent never expected to have.
Such sad experiences on this thread.
I’m so sorry we are all here in this situation. I think the hardest thing to get to grips with is that our children have no future, whatever that may have held for them. So unfair.
I too would give anything to be caring for my child again. We thought she was on the up. Life is so cruel.
They are, however, tucked in our hearts forever.
Love and peace to you all. Xx
Hi all, such a support from all lovely parents here, my birthday next week 2nd without our son Sam18 months down this long road difficult times for us all but yes they are always on our minds and in our hearts our other loved ones need us so much but it is difficult to carry on with this heartache but we have no reasonable other choice. We are here for each other xx
Love to you all too. Feel loved and understood in this forum.
Another day Dawn’s for us all. Xxx
Yesterday was so bad for me but later I got busy and felt a bit better. We met with close friends last night, those who just ask how we are and then are prepared to sit and listen and comfort or just have normally chat, whatever we need.
It was a lovely evening and then my husband went to pick up our elder daughter from the station.
The day ended with hugs and no tears.
Feel stronger today after having met so many people when I was shopping yesterday. All in tears for us but hopefully today I will only bump into people who know not to get upset for us.
Love to you and hope you have a better day too.xxx
Hi Kate,I’m so sorry regards the loss of your courageous daughter you must and still are very proud of her…
This is a site non of us ever thought we would have a need to join, but now here it’s the place that brings the most comfort for non knows better the utter loss and grief that you feel of losing a child than those parents who have lost theirs.
Love and take care.
Marina xx
Thankyou Marina. It’s very true. When this year began we had everything to look forward to.
Lisa was so excited about them taking the little one on her first holiday in the sun.
Little did I know that the next time I saw her she would have pneumonia and soon be on life support. It’s just so unreal.
And here I am joining you all and feeling loved and comforted by you all.
Much love to you.xxx
Hi Kate , yes you do not know whats round the corner, Who would think our beautiful daughters would not be here with us . I would give up everything I have just to see her again . Life is so cruel , I have had my life I am now 70years old . why didn’t God take me ? I think I know why ? he only takes the best
Much love to you too xxxx
Sometimes it’s good that we can’t look into the future…but for us, to have been able to have seen into the future it would have saved Christians life,he died of Arrhythmia a condition if known can be treated and the person can live a long life… Christian had appeared well and happy so the shock of his death was immense,he was in his flat all on his own,we never got a chance to say Goodbye…it frightened me to think he was scared and in pain but the Doctor assured us he was neither and when we eventually got to see him he looked so peaceful just as if he was sleeping…but always at the back of my mind is…(If only we had done this or that) and that will always be there.
The people on this site are so caring I would have been lost without them…
Take care xx
Yes Maddie I know. When Lisa first was brought out of the induced coma she had tubes and lines all over her lovely young body and I was so upset that she was going through all that. She had her hand on my head as I sobbed that I should be me! I am 69 and I have had a good life. Now I must live and be healthy to support the wee family and our other daughter.
Xxxx
Marina that must have been terrible for you. I cant imagine how bad. Lisa had a very rare form of a very rare lung condition and to be honest I think she was a bit of a Guinea pig as the doctors were trying steroids and immune suppressant drugs but really had no clue how to treat her. The drugs were most likely the cause of her death as she could not fight the infections!
Nightmare to watch and live through too.
Love to you dear girl.xx