Helen, we too feel so privileged to have had our Lisa for 31 years. She was so brave and just got on with her life. So happy and in love. Adoring mother to Brooke and I am sure her nurturing of her child had made Brooke the special little person she is. So strong too, she keeps us all on track. She even waves to her Mummy in the clouds.
When I say I love you to her it comes out exactly as Lisa said it. I think she is speaking to her through me.
Love to you all.
Kate xx
Dear Victoria and Kate,
Victoria, animals know they have a sixth sense but also Gemma will be able to speak to you through Elvis, I know because I have a cat called Marmaduke who Sam gave me for my birthday on the 8th April 2013 4 months after they removed the tumour, so Marmaduke is very special and will sit on my lap for hours but also sometimes will sit and look at the corner of the room between the lounge and the dining area where Sam always stood. Lisa like Sam seemed to be one of those people that got on with it never complained about the hand she was dealt. Sam never had any children but Poppy my other boyās daughter (he has identical twin daughters aged 2 and Stanley aged 5) is a carbon copy of Sam in her mannerisms. I hope we can all get through Christmas as best we can.
Love to you all,
Helen
Thinking of you dear Marina. A difficult day but hopefully you can remember all the good times with you boy. I know it is all so unfair and you are right we can find no rhyme or reason for our children going before us. Big hugs x
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Hope you got through the day Marina. Was thinking of you.
With love Kate xxx
Dear Christine,Wynne,Kate
Thank You so much for your kind messages ā¦they meant so muchā¦I am not sure why but yesterday I found it to be more traumatic than last year,maybe itās a passing of years and that Christian seems to be going further and further away from me I am not sureā¦I got upset when I received a beautiful message from my elder son and daughter -in-law along with a very special photo of Christian I started crying and I was like that most of the day and spilling into todayā¦and I thought I was getting strongerā¦The immense love we have for our children is so very strong and nothing can break it.
Love to allā¦Marina xxx
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Hello Marina,
Christian will never leave you, and you are right the immense love that we have for our children it is and will always remain an unbroken bond. Grief is the price we pay for loving them so much. You are strong despite the tears, what a lovely thing that your elder boy did giving you a very special photo of Christian. You are very lucky with your elder boy, Geraint cannot acknowledge the date of his passing.
With love
Helen
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I know what you mean Marina. People keep telling me that time heals but for those of us who have lost a child, it seems that time passing makes it worse. I know itās only coming up 5 months since we lost Lisa but I miss her so much.
Last night I just sobbed and sobbed making dinner because the weather girl on bbc scotland is Lisaās double and we actually did her wedding, they looked like twins! My husband was upset too seeing her on TV.
Anyway, what can we all do but cry because we need them and miss them so much.
Sending love to you and hope we all have better days.
Kate xx
Dear All,
So proud of you for getting through such a difficult day. On this site we feel so much for each other and I hope gain strength from each other. So lovely if your other son to give the photo and that is a real blessing.
Much love xxx
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I do not often post anymore, but I often think of you all, after all you are the only ones with any understanding of what we are all going through.
Of course time does not heal, our precious children are part of us, our genes, our molecules, our essence.
For some reason I am still living, while he is dead. It is 3 years now, life for me goes on, but the exquisite joy of having him in my life, the exquisite pain of losing him goes on. The only way I cope perhaps is by ā looking head on at the sun ā . This enables me to move forward with Chris by my side.
It is the only way I have found for me.
3 years is no easier than 1 or 2. I am particularly remembering the almost unendurable anguish between his death, and his funeral when he was away from me at the chapel of rest. This only eased when the celebrant bought his ashes back to me a couple of days later.
Thinking of you who have anniversaries at this time of year, thinking of you all.
Love Anneka x
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Good morning everyone.
Anneka, I know how that feels. I am strong and a positive person but I miss my Lisa so much . We were such good friends and we worked together too when she had a retail florists and latterly as a wedding florist. We never had a criss word between us, we just worked away together laughing and joking along the way.
I cannot look at FB postings of wedding flowers anymore as it breaks my heart.
Though a strange thing happened last week which i canāt explain. My husband and i were in the sitting room chatting about this and that when i felt this ice cold breeze pass me and a very strong scent of Roses! I jumped and said to Alan āomg! What was that?ā He said āwhatā? and I said that smell and the cold feeling? He hadnāt felt or smelt it but it was so obvious to me.
I was speaking to one of my older daughters colleagues this weekend at an open day at Jemmas studios. Shes an artist in Edinburgh, anyway this lady said to me it would be Lisa letting me know she was close.
I donāt really know anything about this sort of thing but it was very strange and I will never forget it.
Maybe Lisa knew I was missing her so much.
I donāt know but there it is!
Love to you all and especially Helen on this anniversary.
Kate xxxx
Dear Kate,
How lovely getting the scent of roses and I am sure it was from Lisa. I hope it comforted you and I am sure our beloved children are not too far away.
I have been thinking of you as I am conscious that you are approaching your first Christmas without Lisa and I hope you are coping okay.
Sending you all lots of love at the beginning of a new week xxx
Thankyou. I am just back from a weekend in Edinbugh and magical christmas fun with Brooke and my elder daughter Jemma. We both had such joy watching the little ones face and her excitement. Neither of us felt sad at all. It was just perfect.
With love to you too.
Kate xx
Dear Kate,
You are very brave xxx
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Hi Anneka, Itās nice to see you back on the forumā¦ you are correct when you say time doesnāt heal,when I lost Christian a part of me went with him so I can never be that same person again or neither would I want to beā¦in some ways I am stronger than I was. for I know nothing can hurt me more than losing my childā¦and I except the pain that I feel will be with me for always,how can it be anything elseā¦I carry on from day to day a smile on my face for it is my sadness not othersā¦I also find that I tend to live in the past quite a lot remembering old memoriesā¦But one thing losing Christian as made me is appreciate more then ever the family that I do have around me and never never take them for granted.
Take care of yourselfā¦Love Marina xxx
Oh gosh. I am so glad to hear that you feel you are changed forever. I know that I am not the same person and never will be. I used to bounce along the street full of hope and lighthearted. Now i walk head down, hands in my pockets with my head full of what should have been and isnt.
I am happy when i am with my granddaughter and Jemma but i feel, wellā¦ incomplete. Like an unfinished book where some of the pages are missing. Just not the person I was and will never be again.
Much love to you all. Thank God for this forum xxx
That sounds like great funā¦I envy you having a grandchildā¦my eldest son is not fond of children,so no grandchildren thereā¦but animals by the score and guess who is asked to animal sitā¦me xx
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Hi Marina, so well said Marina. I agree entirely x
Hello, everyone , I have finally managed to get my very busy granddaughter round to help me log. So sorry I have missed all the anniversarys , even Dawns on December 11th, . We did go away over night to Bournemouth to get away from the most upsetting time , 3years ago when we lost her. All have got to do now is get through xmas. Love to all , , so pleased to get my life line back xxxxx
Maddie
Good to hear from you. Yes, me too. I think we were all a bit lost without each other.
Sending Love.
Kate xx
Feeling very down and upset this evening and this is the only place I feel I can come to get some comfort and complete understandingā¦instead of the passing years bringing solace, to me it seems to get worse and the longing to see my son and hear his voice can be unbearableā¦I know you all will completely understand and share the same emotions ā¦love and thoughts to allā¦Marina xxx
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