Sorry I didnt mean to throw you or speak out of turn it was just my own experience of my mother in law being a very selfish person as well plus the dementia and it all rang alarm bells with what you are having to deal with re your Mother.
Kate xxx
Dear Helen and Kate,
Blimey Helen your mother is being so selfish. Please look after yourself and enjoy your time in Cornwall. As Kate said, she sounds very selfish and I think when we have been through such tragedy that we canât cope so well with bossy or selfish people.
I love the idea of you having a glass of wine and sleeping late. You should treat yourself and not worry about her,
I think we need to surround ourselves with like-minded people who are good for our souls and lift us up, not drag us down.
Have a peaceful time and much love to you both. xxx
Absolutely my sentiment exactly. Itâs a tough time for us all just now. We donât need any negativity.
Just got a message from Jemma our elder daughter asking me if I was free all day on the 16th! Donât know what she had planned but I am sure it will be good for me. Bless her. She is hurting so much too.xx
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Hi Kate
No it wasnât you that threw me , itâs just I think I had had enough and also itâs building up because of the 9th with Sam, my mum also told my elder son she didnât have any milk so I told him I had just given her three pints all dated 11th December, it gives me the impression she is trying to play me and Ger off against each other.
with love Helen
Hi Priscilla I think I am just about getting to grips with the new format. The friends on this forum have become very important to me.
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Oh dear. Or maybe she had forgotten?
Will be thinking of you on the 9th.
Love to you. Kate xx
Hi. Yes the friends here are very important to us all. You have been so good for me. I am so glad I joined you all and good to see the website working as it should.
Hope you are doing ok.
Lots of love and hugs. Kate xx
This forum has been my comfort blanket for this last two years and especially at the very beginning when I needed that special comfort so muchâŚeven now when I am having a bad itâs on this forum I know I will get complete understandingâŚ
Love to allâŚMarina xxx
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It is for me too. We have never met but share the same heartache and understand each other.
Kate xxx
So here I am again! We were just saying this morning what a comfort this forum is to us.
Anyway I had to go up to Inverness to get pet supplies and went into The Range for a look round. I decided to get a snack in the cafe which is run by a local bakers and ordered and went to sit and wait for my order. I barely noticed the lady bring my order. I looked at her through tear filled eyes. The tears were pouring down my cheeks. I donât know where the sadness suddenly came from but it did and I just sat silent and weeping , alone but surrounded by strangers.
The poor lady was at a loss as to what to say or do so I just shook my head to let her know I didnt need anyone or anything, just to sit and let the tears flow.
We are carrying such a heavy load around with us. Inside our heads and hearts and only friends on this site can identify with us.
I am ok now but it takes it out of us. Makes me tired.
Well, hopefully we will all have a good day tomorrow.
With love as always. Kate xx
Oh KateâŚI know that moment so wellâŚit comes from nowhere but the sadness it brings with it is indescribableâŚbut this is the price we have to pay for the love they gave us.
Christian and I used to go into Range quite often and invariable we would end up in the cafe for coffee and cakesâŚbut I have not been into one since Christian as gone,I think I would find it to painful.
You take care of yourselfâŚwith love Marina xxxx
Hello Kate and marina
It is like a wave it just washes over us. I can identify with sitting or walking with the tears pouring down. As the 9th comes nearer I keep talking to him more and more. Every week I always get him fresh roses pink yellow or orange, they were his favourite colours. Like all of us I just wonder why it happened. Not once did he ever say âwhy meâ I know Iâm getting down now cant seem to rouse myself, I know he will be mad to think Iâm not coping
With love
Helen
Helen and Marina. It just hurts so much doesnât it. We can be thinking of something else entirely and then the tears flow.
It is painful going places we went with our children but I make myself do it. I feel I have achieved something and git through.
Take care both of you.
With love. Kate xx
Hi HelenâŚI think you are coping remarkable wellâŚwhen I came on this forum two years ago it was You ,Wynne, Christine and Maddie that gave me hope that I too could pick up the pieces and carry on with my life,it was this forum and you lovely people that kept me sane when I thought I was losing it.
You are a lot stronger Helen than what you think,be proud of yourself.
Tomorrow will be two years since we lost Christian, you lost Sam on the 9th and also Maddie losing Dawn so I will be thinking of you both at this particular time.
With love âŚMarina xxx
I will be thinking of you all tomorrow and on the 9th for Helen and Maddie.
I suddenly realised today that after counting all these weeks since we lost Lisa I had actually lost count! Itâs such a short time really but feels so long ago since we had her here.
Love and hugs to you all.
Kate xx
Dear Helen, Lisa and Marina,
I am struggling with this new format so I hope you can all see my messages?
I am not doing well at the moment and struggling with the Christmas build-up and just wish things could have been different. I donât have the energy for Christmas that I used to do. I have my three brothers coming for the weekend. My sister will not be coming as she cut all contact with me after Gemmaâs service. The boys insisted on carrying on the tradition of having a pre Christmas celebration at our house which I am grateful for and it will be good to spend time with them. They are so lovely and very supportive so something to look forward to.
Much love to you all xxx
I think we have all struggled with this new format but we are all here now.
Christmas is going to me difficult for us all but with friends and family around us we will get through.
We also have little Brookeâs 4th Birthday on 11th January so that will be so hard .
We all need to hold on to our memories and try and think of tomorrow however hard that will be.
Lots and lots of love . Kate xx
Hi Marina and Helen, I will be thinking of you over the next few days, itâs so hard. I wish we all didnât have this sadness in our lives. We think of our children every minute of every day, with love, pride and the joy they brought to us. Theyâre in our hearts and in our minds. Nothing can take that away from us. There will be tears, but remember and honour your lovely boys. Itâs the only thing that gets us through.
Love Christine x
Hello Christine, Kate, Maddie Victoria and Marina,
Something you said Victoria about Christmas and not having the energy and for me the will struck a cord it is so true I used to love Christmas but now canât wait till itâs over. Victoria, how sad that your sister cut all contact after your daughterâs funeral, personally I think thatâs dreadful she does she not realise how her actions have affected you, probably because she has never lost anyone close. The 9th draws nearer and I am struggling with my thoughts but like you all said keep goingâŚI actually was lost in thought last night and I heard Sam quite clearly say for Godâs sake mum get a grip!! so loud I turned aroundâŚI can always hear Sam in my head talking to me, and as I write this I can see a picture of me and Sam holding hands, we had gone out for a walk all three of us, john me and Sam about two weeks before he died he wanted some fresh airâŚand we stopped in the lane and John took the picture. I think holding my hand steadied him a little as he was walking it is a lovely picture so clear (maybe John knew it was close) he has never said. On the 28th November we all went for Samâs last scan, I took Sam off for a coffee (I didnât want Sam to hear the news) and so John and my elder boy went in to see the Consultant. Samâs real dad couldnât face it! When they were given the newsâŚJohn said thatâs it Iâm taking him to Cornwall to see the sea (Sam adored the sea)âŚthe Consultant said he may die before you get there, John replied no he wont. We left for Cornwall on the 1st December for 3 days, John took everyone including Samâs real dad. Where Samâs energy and spirit came from I will never know, he had a great time although he was so tired. We came home late on the Sunday night, and he slept but from the Monday until the Thursday you would never have thought anything was wrong. He woke on the Thursday was sick, I said I love you Sam and he said love you too then fell into a coma and died at 12 noon on the Friday. I was very lucky to have him for 34 years.
With love to you all
Helen
Dear Helen how amazing you had those last few beautiful days with your Sam. John sounds like an amazing man and must have loved Sam so much too. That is such a blessing because not everyone is lucky enough to have that. Our children are always still with us and around us.
I was a little tearful this morning. We have Gemmaâs dog, Elvis and I was stroking him, talking about his mummy and he looked at me as though he understood every word. As I sat to write to you he jumped up and was getting as close to me as he could. He definitely knows how I am feeling.
I hope we all have a good day xxx