Oh Helen, that sums it up beautifuly, ; Just going round to Sarah now have to put on a brave face for the rest of the family, have been to the grave to put on a small dec. but hard to hold it together. I really want to go to midnight mass tonight, something I have never done, but something is calling me. Love to everyone onthis very sad time .Maddie xx
Thank you for the poem Helen, it sums up so beautifully how we get through day after day. I too would like to erase December from the calendar. I am so tired of trying but no doubt the smile will be back tomorrow as I somehow try to get through Christmas without him. Cris loved wrapping his presents and making quirky, cheeky cards. For his last Christmas Chris bought the children a huge bouncy dinosaur. It filled the sitting room ! How much fun we all had.
Now my heart is broken, as all our hearts are broken,
I wish you all peace and love,
Anneka x
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So true Helen, so very true.xx
Dear All,
I am so tired. I tried to cope by working all hours this week just to keep busy and stop me thinking. I ended up by driving home this evening with tears streaming down my face but then I suddenly felt such a feeling of calm spreading through my body. So thankful for that.
I will be thinking of you all tomorrow, my very special friends and it comforts me to know that we will be holding each other in our hearts as we get through the day.
Much love to you all xxx
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Hi All, your poem absolutely does put everything into words Helen, thank you for posting it for us all.
Something happened today, my 85year old Mum hasnât been well in recent weeks. Myself and my husband had to drop her at the hospital today for a procedure then go back to collect her, so we went shopping for a couple of hours. As we walked passed a tree, we could hear a clicking noise, I wondered if it was a robin and when I looked up, there it was above us, clicking away. As we walked along passed the next tree, it flew along to that tree alongside us, still clicking loudly. They say when a robin appears, loved ones are near. It was such a comfort today of all days.
Take it easy everyone x
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I think today got to us all. I was in tears in Tesco and our daughter Jemma had been heartbroken too doing last minute shopping. So much so that a close friend comforted her and phoned his wife who was waiting for Jemma outside our holiday cottage where Jemma is staying just now. Fran got her inside and held her till the worst had passed.
So good to have friends like this around.
Itâs all too much for us all just now. The tears flow. What else can we do. Itâs a release of sorts.
Love to you all. Will be thinking of you all tomorrow.
Kate xx
We are in the Cotswold at the moment I could not face spending Christmas at home ,âŠbut you cannot run away from grief it follows you everywhere, all I wish now is to be at home where all the memories happy and sad are.
Thinking of each and everyone of you and wishing you all⊠A very peaceful Christmas
Love to you all Marina xxx
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Itâs our first Christmas without our beautiful girl and itâs just been the most distressing time. My husband and I have tried so hard for each other but without our sweet girl we are simply lost. I feel so lonely without her. She loved Christmas and we had the most wonderful times in past years. I feel so sad for all the parents on here missing their children this Christmas and New year and suffering this unbearable pain - I send you all a hug from the heart - xxx
Our first Christmas too Caitlin. Christmas day was difficult but we got through and looked forward to today when our son in law, his brother and Brooke were coming over.
It was amazing. That little girl had us all laughing as she opened more and more presents. She then tucked into her dinner and amused her Grandad as she likes all the vegetables most children do not. Lisa would have been so proud of her little one. She did such an amazing job bringing her up so far. Just sad she cant be here to see her blossom.
Love to you Caitlin, life can be so cruel.
Kate xxx
Dear all,
Well done to us all for getting through another Christmas. I know how hard it is. My worst time was this morning. We spent Christmas with our son and his partner and they had made everything so beautiful for us. I took a photo of their tree this morning and the sadness of Gemma not being there to see it just hit me like a wave and I just crumbled in a heap. Our children are always in our hearts and our thoughts. I have lit a candle this evening and will pray for peace for us all.
Much love xxx
Yes we made it through. We had a lovely time yesterday with Jamie and his brother and little Brooke. It was so nice and the laughter filled the house.
I have roses by Lisaâs photo. I bought some when she was in hospital but, of course , we couldnât take them to ICU. They were on the window sill in the cottage we rented and I have bought some every week since we lost her.
Her career was in flowers and most of her wedding flowers fir brides had roses. They were so much a part of her life. She could name every one and could also tell where they were grown!
Have a good day and sending my love to you too.
Kate xx
Dear Kate,
Children do help to cheer us up, so glad you have little Brooke and how lovely to have the beautiful roses as a memory of Lisa. You are doing amazingly and so proud of you. xxx
Well I think I am doing ok. We need each other on this site, thatâs for sure .
With love to you. Kate xx
Dear Victoria and all the lovely dear people here.
An older friend of our eldest sent her this to also forward to me. I am now sending it to all of you.
With love a great big hugs.
Kate xx
To all, Victoria, Kate, Marina, Maddie, and Wynne,
Yes Lisa youâre right we made it throughâŠall I want now is January 2nd to come. The poemâs lovely Lisa. On Boxing Day we had over my sister in law Gloria and nieces and nephewâs one of which would have been Ben. I asked Gloria how she was feeling, she lost Ben in a football accident nearly 5 years ago he was only 30âŠwhich is why we go to Elounda in Crete the four of us or just over a week. She said this year has been slightly easier than last year although she said she does feel sad it seems to be a bit easier. How strange that we are sister in laws and have both lost sonâs. When I saw Marcus the mediumâŠone thing he did say which had me reeling was "Oh Samâs met Ben, Benâs over there!
With love
Helen
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Hello everyone, I just feel so guilty, we have just been out for a meal with our mg club, and I must admit I got up this morning feeling totally miserable, as 3 years ago today is when we said our final good bys to Dawn , and I have gone out and acted like I did not have a care in the world. But all the way home I just wnted to cry, as I know that is the real me. But my other daughter keeps telling me ,if you keep going out with that depressing attitude knowing will want to know . Help , I just donât know what to do , does anyone else feel like this? Hugs to all Maddie xx
Hey! Me too. We do enjoy ourselves for a while and thatâs good, I am sure of that. Then we go home and reality and probably something like guilt hits us! How can I be laughing and drinking and eating like normal people when our lost children are not here?
Lisa would have wanted us to have fun. She was such a happy uncomplicated young woman. She never over thought things, just lived in the minute. If nothing else that lesson alone has helped me.
Enjoy again and try not to cry when you get home.
Our children wanted us to carry on living.
With so much love to you.
Kate xx
Hi everyone yes I understand all those feels itâs weird I went to family before Christmas and it just seemed strange not to have AimĂ©e with me. It was a quite Christmas second one without her itâs been 17months but I canât get my head around that Iâm still not sure my head is around the losing her in the first place. I feel when Iâm company or family Iâm.sittimg on the outside of everything looking in. The missing her it seems is harder for me as time goes on. I know AimĂ©e would say there is nothing you can do this is how it is and get on and do the things you want. But I just want her here enjoying our time together. X
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Hello all
Yes I too have those feelings, but like you Kate I remember what Sam was like, just like Lisa lived in the moment and he would expect me to carry on, so yes Maddie I cry sometimes and then I hear Samâs voice in my head saying for **** 's sake mum just get on pleaseâŠso I have no choice. I am sure Dawn would have no problem in you trying to enjoy yourself. We cannot all of us carry this burden 100% of the time, we need to rest. I know that for me (yes there is no doubt I get my moments believe me) I have to do my very best because Sam would expect that and he would expect me to laugh again which I find at times so very very hard. Please Maddie donât be too hard on yourself, we all have to have a rest time and that is only what you did, Dawn would tell you âmum just do your best to enjoy what is left of you life, I will see you when you get hereâ
with love
Helen
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Hi Helen and all dear members of this club.
I am trying to live like Sam and Lisa. I think they would be friends if they had met. Same attitude to life in general.
I feel I reach a turning point on Boxing day as it was so lovely and I felt like Lisa was there with us. I could just imagine her lovely laughing face and beautiful white even teeth (not cosmetically enhanced), just pure luck. Her beauty can never be lost to age. She was amazing and I feel privileged to have been her Mum. She is helping me on my way. I know she is.
Sam is just down the road waiting too.
With love. Kate xx
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