How beautiful Kate what you’ve written sums up Lisa, it sums up Sam too, this is what my friend Dee wrote about Sam…
So today we said farewell to a beautiful young man, inside and out. A young man with a zest for life. Living each day as it came whatever it may bring. A person more brave I’m yet to meet. you touched many lives. Result! We asked for donations to Cancer Research rather than flowers and below is part of the story that was written by his brother.
Sam’s strength throughout this whole process was an inspiration to those around him. He did not moan or complain about his situation, instead he approached it with a smile on his face and embraced a ‘what will be, will be’ attitude which was so typical of him. He raised money for Macmillan and Cancer Research UK through various things such as climbing Mount Snowdon (still partially paralysed), shaving his head and giving up alcohol to name just a few.
He travelled the world, was loved and will be missed by so many. Through love he will be remembered and in memory he will live.
R.I.P Sammy we all love you. xx
When I read this I cry but at the same time I am so proud of Sam…my Sam
with love
Helen
Hello Kate,
That is a beautiful poem , and just sums up our beautiful girls, and how we feel. .Dawn was very strong, she went through so much , had 19operations, . and came through, only to pass away from liver disease, and malnution, she did not deserve that. but hopefully she is out of pain now ,that’s all we can hope for. xx
That is so lovely and absolutely perfect. Xxx
Dear Lisa’s Mum,
Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem, I love it. 
Dear All, I just think God that I found this site and all you lovely girls. Gemma would be 45 today and I am finding it so hard. My husband and I took her little dog with us and planted Spring flowers in her special place. That is all I can do for her now but I long to hold her, stroke her hair, kiss her and tell her that everything will be alright.
This second year is proving harder than last year, maybe the shock is wearing off and I am faced with the day to day reality.
Maddie, you are so right in talking about Dawn. I talk about about Gemma even though it makes me tearful. I will never let people forget her although we are very lucky with our friends as they encourage me to.
Much love xxx
Hi Victoria. It’s good to talk about our children
Little Brooke suddenly said she missed her Mummy so much and wanted her to come back. I was taken back but tried to stem the tears and say ’ my darling, Ganny misses her so much too as she was Ganny’s baby and I cry a lot because she is not with us’ The little soul just said she knew that Mummy was in the clouds and wasnt coming back but she wasnt going to be sad as she was brave like Mummy’
She is amazing. We talk about Lisa all the time to her and that way she stays with us, maybe not in body but in our hearts and minds.
With love to you dear girl.
Kate xxx
Dear Victoria , thinking of you on this very sad day, when birthday and the anniversarys come round , it makes us more prone to thinking that our lovely girls ( and boys) should be here with us , the pain is twice as much to bear. We have just visited one of Dawns resting places, just to see if the flowers are in place ,after the terrible strong winds, but still come away weepy. Its just not fair is it? How we long to have them back again, if only ? Take care Maddie xx
Dear Maddie, Kate, Victoria, Helen and all dear friends,
I can feel those panicky feelings building up today as tomorrow it will be three long horrendous years since our darling boy, Daniel left our world. The pain does not ease and for me it doesn’t get any easier. Yes some friends and family hold our hands and say supportive words but this pain just never stops. As you say the anniversaries bring all to the foreground again and again. I feel real life stopped three years ago and I am just a shell of myself going daily through the motions wishing every moment to turn clock back. I am sorry to spill my heart but this life is only half lived now. Love to each and everyone. Wynne
Dear Wynne and friends. I was just saying to my husband this morning that although I feel better I feel a terrible emptiness like we all here feel. I cant just explain exactly but like I could open a door to a room on the house but there would be nothing there, just the outside where there should have been furniture and walls. It must sound crazy but I am sure you all understand.
Wynne, it’s only 7 months for us but I can totally see how you feel. A shell of yourself is exactly it. We are all caught up in legal stuff just now as Lisa didnt leave a will and they weren’t married. I guess this is taking my mind off the grief.
There are no answers as to when the pain will ease. Our hearts are so broken we none of us can ever be the same.
With love, Kate xx
Hi Wynne,
The love that a child brings is like no other love on earth and it’s the cruellest thing when that child is taken from you,life can never be the same again…We know and share your feelings…
Thinking of you tomorrow .Marina xxx
Hello Wynne, there’s no need to apologise, life is hard. I understand your struggle and the pain your feel. Life will never be the same, how could it be? It’s the price we pay for love. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Love to all x
Dear Wynne, Maddie, Kate, Marina and friends,
Wynne, I will be thinking of you and your darling boy tomorrow and I’ll light a candle for you. I sometimes wish I could somehow live in the past before we lost Gems. This evening though my grandson came for supper and we talked a little about his mummy. I go a sense that he is moving forward a little while I am more stuck so that has made me think about how I can somehow begin to move forward with him. But it is hard when I just want her back with me.
Wishing you all a peaceful evening and much love xxx
Hello Wynne , and all dear Mums,will be thinking of you today Wynne , on this 3rd anniversary you lost your beloved Danial. You are so right how can we ever be that same person again , when part of us has died , yes just a shell, we just carry on the best we can , until we meet our beautiful children again . love to you all xx
Hello All,
Yes Wynne you are right we carry out and Lisa summed it up when she said a room with no furniture…I am thinking of you today Wynne, it is never right that our children should go before us. But we will meet them again…this is for you Wynne: -
ASK MY MUM HOW SHE IS
My mum she tells a lot of lies, she never did before
But from now until she dies she’ll tell a whole lot more
Ask my mum how she is and because she can’t explain
She will tell a little lie because she can’t describe the pain
Ask my mum how she is and she’ll say I’m alright,
if that’s the truth then why does she cry at night
Ask my mum how she is she seems to cope so well,
she doesn’t have a choice you see nor the strength to yell
Ask my mum how she is, I’m fine, I’m well I’m coping
For God sake mum just tell the truth your heart is broken
She’ll love me all her life, I loved her all of mine but if you see
Her she’ll lie and say I’m fine
I am here in heaven I cannot hug from here
If she lies to you don’t listen hug her and hold her near
On the day we meet again we’ll smile and I’ll be bold
I’ll say you’re lucky to get in here mum with all the lies you told.
With love to us all suffering tjis pain
Helen
Helen ,what a beautiful and humerous poem , cant help but smile, hope this helps Wynne today.
Maddie
Thinking of you today, Wynne, and sending you love.
Sending everyone here love,
Anneka x
Dear friends,
The poem made me smile amongst all the tears. Thank you everyone for your compassion and understanding. Yesterday was incredibly sad and the feelings were overwhelming that this hard reality is so hard to come to terms with. I yearn so much to have the old days back. I know you all feel this pain too. Sending love to each and everyone. Xxx
Thinking of you and sharing the pain you feel.
Love and hugs.
Kate xx
Hi everyone, I hope you are all having a better day than me , I don’t know if its the awful depressing weather or its just the way I am feeling. As I cant get outside and do anything, I decided to tidy out a few cuboards, and there they were photos of Dawn , that I had not seen in ages, The best ones when 11 of us went to her Disney wedding , she looked beautiful , and it was enough to start me weeping for the rest of the day. Oh I want her back so much , I just want to scream… Love to all Maddie xx
I get that maddie - that absolute compulsion to scream - I feel like that often. Last week we went away with friends and their young adult sons on a weekend which my daughter chose for us and which she was really looking forward to. It was so hard as it was my husbands birthday too. We were walking on the stormy beach and I had to walk far ahead of the others as I didn’t want them to see how upset I was- I actually screamed at the sea several times, luckily the weather was so wild no one heard, but I just couldn’t suppress it any longer.
I know grief isn’t a linear progression but I have been surprised by how many times you can fall lower than you thought even possible - there just doesn’t seem to be a bottom to the pit of grief at all.
My husband is back at work now and I’m struggling with being on my own.I get up with him as I fear how far I could fall if I stayed in bed- it’s frightening really.
I hope there will be some better moments for you soon - sending hugs xxx