Loss of parents

My Dad dies in 2018, he was 77 and seemed fine one minute and the next he was in an induced coma and never woke up. He had pantriatic cancer but didn’t know he had it. He died in front of me. My Mum stopped talking to me and died a year later from Phenomena. They say time heals but I’m finding it is getting worse, as time goes on its longer since I saw them, hugged them and heard their voices. I still see them in my mind alive and doing the things they loved. I also miss the house they lived in, that I grew up in, it was council rented so I will never be able to go back home. Covid hasn’t helped either because I was brought up in London and now live in Yorkshire so was unable to keep going down to see the areas I miss. So I’m home sick as well. I have support, I am married with a lot of children and grandchildren but no one understands how I am feeling inside.

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Dear Dreamscope63,

There will be many people on here (including myself) who can understand how your are feeling.
You may find it helpful to read what other people have posted in a topic called ‘Adult Orphan’.
This is the link:



I feel exactly the same. I have no siblings and my Grandparents are dead so I can’t just ask my parents anything about my childhood. I’m full of regrets, I wish I had spent time talking to them, asking questions and finding out more about their lives. There’s many things I would like to know and have no one to ask. In a way I feel I have lost my identity


I think there are many of us who feel like this @Dreamscope63 - I really understand what you mean by losing your identity. I feel like I have lost myself in many ways - I was out recently and without my mum with me I felt lost even though I’m an adult. The presence of parents give me such a sense of who I am so now I don’t know…

It helps to know there are others who feel similarly - take care and keep posting - there is a lot of great support on here.


I feel like this too…no-one here to tell tales of me when I was little or to share those memories with. And yes, without my Mum I feel lost and a completely different person.

I get this way of how you are feeling as time passes its harder and alot of people dont understand that. Our family home we grew up in we have to leave by this sunday and im dreading it once that goes i feel like mum is gone forever and we cant go back. I wish i could say something that would help but going through what you are i dont have words of help. Life is cruel and i know one thing life will never ever be the same again.