Loss of wife

Losing a partner
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I lost my wife 3 years ago, unexpectedly.

Myself and our grown up children were devastated.

I didn’t know it was possible to feel such deep sustained grief. We went everywhere together.

Now when I go out into town all I see is other couples. If I end up in conversation with couples in coffee shops pubs or restaurants I find myself telling people to look after their health because if health fails and your loved one passes away the consequences are immeasurable.

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Hi Chris21, so sorry for the loss of your wife, I don`t like to engage with couples any more, as it makes me so sad, but when I see them having a tiff or both sat staring at their phones ignoring each other, I want to scream at them, “this might be your last minute together”. Me and Norm went/did everything together, so I know your loss.

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Get you

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Hello Chris, so sorry for the loss of your wife. I lost my husband almost 9 weeks ago, if I could have just one more precious moment with my husband, I’d kiss him and tell him how much I love him​:brown_heart:…sometimes when I talk to someone I know I just want to tell them, just love your spouse, listen to one another and spend as much time together. But I don’t want to overstep so I stay quiet. I miss my hubby, best friend, so much. Take care and God bless

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Dear Chris,

I do understand your feelings.

When I see other couples I think “Enjoy your time together and take good care of each other!”

The acute despair, pain and sadness will slowly fade into the background but will be present for the rest of our lives.

My beloved, wonderful wife Fanny passed away 9 months ago.

I miss her, I’m always talking to her, telling her how much I love her.

Every day I told her how much I love her several times and she told me how much she loves me.

We always walked hand in hand.

I got some tattoos on my forearms in memory of my beloved Fanny.

Please, each of you, be kind to yourselves and take good care!

Kind regards - Joe

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Hi Helen,

Thank you for your message.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

All you can do is try to treasure and live the memories you had of yourself and Norm.

Separation is cruel.

Kind Regards

Chris

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Hi Joe

Thank you for your message. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Fanny sounds like a wonderful person; I hope you are able to conjure up the memories. It certainly helps if you can do that .

All the best

Chris

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Hi Mary,

Thank you for your kind message.

I can only imagine the stage of grief which you must be at with the loss of your husband, because it is so different for so many people. That is a very recent loss. Take the time to grieve and look after yourself.

Kind Regards

Chris

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Hi Chris, hoping youve had a bit of peace this afternoon. Today is the the first time since I lost Norm, ( 7 weeks at 3.00am tomorrow) , that I put some music on. Norm loved music, ( seventies rock ), but Ive found it too triggering. I don`t know listening at the moment if it is comforting or making me fall back into despair, both I think. A lot of us know what you mean,[quote=“Chris21, post:1, topic:118613”]
We went everywhere together), I really have no idea how we find any joy again, just glimpses now and again, just keep plodding forward enjoying bits of life when something nice appears.
Helen

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Dear Helen,

regrettably it’s exactly as you described it.

True happiness is, in my opinion, a thing of the past.

In the long run, when the grief and the despair did fade into the background, our happiness level will be something like “”well, quite okay”.

For me, the reaction to “triggers” like certain songs differs on a day-to-day basis.

Sometimes I am okay with them, on other days the same trigger does open the floodgates.

May God bless you, please take care!

Kind regards - Joe

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Hi Joe, I guess yourself and Fanny and myself and Norm will just have to wait until we are reunited forever in eternity. Wishing you some peace.
Helen

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