Lost and alone

Yes I am starting to eat a little more after 7 weeks of near fasting.Grief killed my appetite,killed me as well.Michael.

Hi Beth44. I feel robbed. Iā€™m only 46, so it feels like the potential for many years of happiness has now gone. Itā€™s just hard to comprehend.

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Iā€™m also sorry for your loss as 53 is no age to go. Hope you can find the strength to mark your beloveds bā€™day in some way that will bring you comfort. Take care.

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So hard to accept,you are so young to have to go through this pain and grief.We are all here for you.Michael.

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We have all been robbed of a happy future with our loved ones ,hard to find a way to carry on in this life now ,I am so alone and unhappy with it all,just drifting from day to day .Michael.

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The future seems so long & unbearable to think of. My husband took early retirement at 55 & last year I was doing the same & we were going to move to our little apartment in Spain. Unfortunately he passed away suddenly before we could make the move. Weā€™d already sold our house & bought a bolt hole here. Iā€™m now living in that bolt hole our joint dreams & future shattered.
Weā€™ve still got the apartment in Spain as a family holiday home & I have been there on my own but I couldnā€™t live there without him. Covid was an escape from the world for me, I didnā€™t have to make any decisions about the future. The future that I donā€™t want to live but have to, one day at a time.
Take care x

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Thank you Michael. Weā€™re all immersed in this terrible thing called grief. Like others on here, Iā€™ve started writing my thoughts in a journal every time I feel overwhelmed. It doesnā€™t take the pain away, but it helps me to process my emotions. I also tell myself that itā€™s ok to be hurt, to cry, to be angry even. Itā€™s all part of the process of coming to terms with the loss. A relative said to me recently that I need to try to ā€˜get over itā€™. This was said with the best of intentions, but it was insensitive. However, it made me realise that this is my grief and it belongs to me and nobody has the right to tell me how to deal with it. Just as your grief belongs to you. It isnā€™t something to ā€˜get overā€™
itā€™s something that needs to be accepted and to recognise that itā€™s now a part of you and learning to live with it. Take care.

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Your right people look at me, and Seem to say are you not over it yet, My anxiety is gone through the roof and to be honest before Michael died I didnā€™t have a anxiety I was a bit nervous of things in life but Michael always had my back, When youā€™re on your own and you make your own decisions itā€™s okay most of the time but sometimes itā€™s really hard the little things I find hardest, I donā€™t wanna be a burden on anybody so it just easy to keep away, and l used to go out all the time, and now, l hid away, itā€™s got to the point that l cannot wait to close my front door, itā€™s nearly been a year since Michael died, and although Iā€™ve accepted it and I donā€™t look back any more maybe in the future Iā€™ll look at memories and think theyā€™re nice but I live day today which is pretty crap to be honest, but you got get through the day, My best Part is going to sleep, iā€™m waiting on counselling again but there is a waiting list because I feel itā€™s not healthy the way I am when I canā€™t go forward because I feel thereā€™s no point

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Thank you for your kind words Jim. Derek wrote a diary for some years and his sheer enjoyment of life comes through and is helping me cope.It must be much harder losing a child and you have my admiration. Hilary x

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Hi Les2. Yeah, I understand that itā€™s so hard to function like you did before. I barely leave the house these days. Iā€™m just in my own bubble, as itā€™s where I feel I can cope the best. 4 weeks today he passed, so itā€™s all still very raw. Memories of times that were long forgotten
suddenly appear, seemingly out of the blue. Iā€™m just allowing myself to feel my emotions no matter how painful, as suppression is far more damaging. Take care.

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My husband passed one year ago today and I am still hurting very much. I would recommend counselling and also I have journal which I write in as I want to this helps, because I can include Ken in this, which I have been writing since he became ill. Going out is hard but try even a short walk. Maybe you could have someone to have a coffee with you at home. All the above is difficult and Iā€™m told it gets easier. We will just have to see. Take care.

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My heart goes out to you, I am 1year 2 months in grieving for my husband of 54 years very happyily married, his passing was unexpected and sudden.
You never get used to your loved one not being there, I just canā€™t believe it .happened, the tears lessen but donā€™t stop, l am trying to rebuild a life without my husband but itā€™s very hard, nothing is the same. I talk to him all the time , ask his advice, and try to imagine his replies, that helps me. Iā€™m lost without him. You are still in early bereavement, hope you find the courage to go on , it dies get easier in time. Take care and Iā€™ll be wishing you well , know you are not alone.:heart::broken_heart:

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I am so sorry for your loss , I was exactly the same last February 2 days before my 60th birthday , I found my partner dead After suffering heart failure he was only 61 and my childhood sweetheart ,
I was with him at 14 then we both went on to have other lifeā€™s and re met in 2020 we got 1 year together before he was taken Tony is his name I miss him so
Much and feel cheated he was taken but I console myself with how happy we was and live life for his memory it Does get easier but Iā€™m so lonely and lost without him , try different things to feel your day I tried reading drawing coloring quiz books to name a few , I also found writing my feelings down and talking to him helped along with wearing bits of heā€™s clothing which I still do by the way , I also talk to
Him all the time xx
A

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My home is now my sanctuary,I get in and lock up close the curtains and feel safe,I go to bed early snug in my warm bed and shut the world away.I also cannot see a way forward at the moment,lost and alone in this lonely world without my darling wife Judith whom I worshipped .Michael.

Oh help me please I am having a huge meltdown,crying my heart out for my wife ,I am so lonely so unhappy do not want to live like this anymore.Michael

Wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up.Michael

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Michael keep strong write down your feelings and talk to Judith constantly xx I honestly felt that I couldnā€™t go on and didnā€™t want to And some days I still
Feel like that but please keep going it does get easier but itā€™s so hard knowing we wonā€™t see our loved ones again on earth xx

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Michael try get counselling, l have some after Michael died and at the moment feel l need some more, it does help xx

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Michael I know how you feel & I often have those thoughts, then I think of family & how hurt they would be again & know I will get through another day. My Mum at 82 said she would have swapped with my Derek in a heartbeat, who was 59, but life isnā€™t like that, no rhyme or reason. We carry on because thatā€™s all we can do.
Sending you strength x

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Michael, I really hear you. I know I felt exactly that but then I thought Iā€™ve cried more than I ever thought possible. During the 40yrs Fred and I were married I only remember once crying after a silly row we had, I canā€™t even remember what it was about but what I do remember is just how upset Fred became when he saw my tears. I know, deeply how he didnā€™t want to leave me and Iā€™m sure your Judith felt the same. Now, 3 and ahalf years on

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