I’m so sorry for the loss of your parents, @Shar2314. Two years is not a long time in grieving and I think many of our members will identify with how you’re feeling right now. It sounds like things were particularly difficult and complicated due to Covid, which was outside your control.
We have a few members who have sadly experienced the death of both of their parents. I wanted to link you to this thread Both parents where you may find people who understand some of what you’re going through.
Do you think it could be helpful to have some space to explore your feelings? We offer free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat with trained bereavement counsellors. You can click on the link to find out more.
Keep reaching out - you are not alone.
Seaneen