Both parents

Hi everyone,

My name is Sam and I am new to this group. 8 years ago I lost my dad to lung cancer just 8 weeks after diagnosis.

A year ago roughly my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer also and all the feelings resurfaced from my dad and as much as I tried to be strong I just became an emotional mess. Just 10 weeks later after my mums diagnosis she passed. I was told a year with treatment which she was due to start but she got pneumonia and passed within a weekend. All my fears of loosing mum quick like dad happened too. I was 29 when i lost dad and I just turned 37 before loosing mum. I dont have any family apart from my son who is 5, I have good friends but not having that comfort of at least 1 parent really hits home now. Sometimes I feel jealousy that my friends have both parents yet both mine have gone already. I’m doing my best by my son but like many I have days I just want to give up. I am not in a relationship so apart from my friends I really am doing this alone now and some days all I want to do is hide away.

Many thanks for reading

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Hello @Carey - thank you for reaching out. I am so sorry for the loss of your parents. Many of our members have experienced the loss of a parent and will understand some of what you’re going through.

It sounds like you are coping with so much at the moment, and being strong for your. Do you think having some space to explore how you’re feeling could be Our Online Bereavement Support has a few options, including our Grief Guide and counselling, if you think that could be helpful right now.

I also wanted to link you up with this thread by @Dawnie45, who is also a new member that has lost both her parents. You may be able to relate to each other’s experiences: Alone

Take good care - you are not alone.


first off, I am sorry for your loss. I am without mother and father for five years.
I do struggle a lot.

the is off topic, but with both parents dying of lung cancer, at least do not
blame yourself. cancer deaths are soaring. lung cancers are from the increasingly
polluted air. it seems a possible contributing factor to your situation. so
if this might be true, none of it is your fault.

people are dying younger and younger. environmental deterioration. out of our hands.

it is hard being without loving parents. today, I am not doing well. I freelance and work on my project they were my support system. I struggle mightily without them.

so I have an understanding.

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So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum ten years ago to pancreatic cancer and I lost my dad 5 days ago. Like you I feel completely overwhelmed at not not having both my mum and dad.

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Lost my mum 7 weeks ago, never had a Dad.
The pain is indescribable and it’s a very lonely place even with adult children of my own. This may sound selfish and I don’t mean it to, but reading others experiences leaves me feeling not quite so alone probably because while I’m empathising with you guys, I’m not focussing on me xx


I don’t think it’s selfish at all, I completely understand. I’ve spent most of this week wandering about wondering how everyone can just go on as normal.

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I’m so sorry for your loss and can understand the pain you are going through.
I lost my dad 7 years ago, and this year in my mum was diagnosed with cancer and died 11 weeks later (last month).
I am so down right now, all I can think of is my mum.
I’ve had a few family dinner since and the last one no one really even asked about my mum, like I should be OK now, I am really NOT a Ok, it’s only been 5weeks. I’m feeling panicky again. Not surprised. Feel quite alone.
Mum was always there for me, always, we were so close. I shared most things with her, and more so afte my dad died. It feels so unfair to see others going about life with both parents, why did this happen to mY parents!!!
I feel your pain. I’ve tried hard going out but honestly I just want people to sit with me.
I’ve been crying loads today. And it’s a shame I feel I can’t be honest with people about how I really am, it’s like I should be over it by now. But I know it’s OK.
I really miss my mum, but I’m glad I was with her as much as I was……I can’t help thinking what was she thinking and how scared was she knowing she was going to die soon?

Sending you lots of love.