Lost both parents

[Moonpudding]

I’ve just started some counselling sessions following the passing of my mum and dad and was told this may be a good idea to also get some support and help.
I lost my dad to lung cancer in January 2023 and then my mum to lung cancer in December 2023, both within two months of each diagnosis. I was helping out with my dad and was the main person on call and helping out with my mum who we think had brain metastasis too. I feel utterly lost without them. They were my best friends and I saw them everyday. I have some good people around me but I miss them so much and anything can trigger the tears these days :’(

[Seaneen]

Hello @Moonpudding,

Thank you for bravely reaching out and sharing your story with us. I’m so sorry to hear about your parents - that is devastating.

You are not alone. Many of our members have experienced the loss of both their parents and will understand some of what you are going through. You might want to chat to @Mike47 who posted this thread a few days ago:

Loss of parents

In 2019, my family and I went for a birthday meal on the 8th of May, it was when my parents went back earlier than us that my mum slipped and fractured her hip, she was in the hospital for 3 days before she died, I still don’t feel like I’ve grieved her loss, I had to be strong for my family as they all broke down, it destroyed my stepdad and I saw him falling slowly, then he went into hospital last year for Pneumonia, which turned out to be lung cancer, I got a phone call on the 28th of Decembe…

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted you to know you have been heard and are not alone.

Take good care,
Seaneen

[BlueSparrow]

Hi Moonpudding

You are not alone, there are so many of us that are in the same place as you.
So glad you are getting counselling.

I lost both my parents within 10 months of each other. Its the little things that bring things back.
My Mum died in sept 22 and it is just coming upto a year for my Dad dying.
I still think of things I want to tell them, but can’t.
“The hole in my chest,” is a little smaller now.
Keep reaching out, when you need to.

[Bonzzi]

I totally understand exactly how you feel - ive always been so very close with my Parents - my Mother died Easter week 2018 - my Father died Easter week 2022 - I miss them so much and cannot stop crying - feel so lonely - still cant believe they are not here - keep expecting them to walk in the room - I just feel so closed down - finding it a struggle to cope with everyday tasks - as I wake up in the morning I cry - I am finding everything so difficult to manage - its just dreadful.

[BlueSparrow]

Hi BozziI think I would describe it as like sleepwalking through life.
Part of you feels numb.

[Christie11]

Hi. So sorry to hear you’ve had this awful experience. I lost my mum and dad 14 months apart (both cancer) so can relate, but grief is so individual and personal that I feel no one truly gets it. Some days I feel like my heart physically hurts and I’m just going through the motions day to day but not fully living. I feel guilty for how I’m acting- my family need me, but I’m just not myself

[Dee67]

Sorry to hear of your loss xx
I dont think you ever get over the loss of your parents. They are the the only link to our childhoods and we grow up thinking they are always going to be around.
I lost my mum in January 2020 to a massive cardiac arrest, 6 weeks later my father was diagnosed with bowel cancer. He passed away in 2022. Due to covid and working on frontline NHS at the time i didn’t spend as much time that i wanted to with him.
I miss them both terribly some days are still bad. Sometimes i can laugh about them both.
Tomorrow’s my birthday and i find it especially hard as the person who gave me life isnt here with me. To be honest it just hits differently now. Be easy on yourself and keep coming back to this group. They have helped me massively to get to where i am now. Xxx