Hi everyone,
My boyfriend was on holiday in Italy over the weekend and I was supposed to meet him at Heathrow airport on Sunday evening. He was going on a hiking trail and the last message I received from him was at 11am letting me know he was halfway through. I never heard from him again and by evening I started to worry something was wrong. It got to when he should be on the plane the next day and still no contact. My calls weren’t been answered, messages weren’t sending as if his phone was broken and I started to get really worried.
After frantically trying to get in touch with him I checked the local news for the area he was at for reassurance that nothing bad had happened. Unfortunately, what I read what a large headline describing someone exactly like him on the exact hike having fallen off the side of the steep mountain side to their death.
I’m really struggling with denial and keep expecting him to message or call me and let me know he is okay. He was the love of my life and I can’t imagine life without him. He was only 24 and I’m 26 and we were planning our lives together.
I feel so ill and overwhelmed with grief. I keep imagining him in pain and I’m struggling to come to terms with it and deal with him not being in my life anymore.
Dear Lucinda, you must be totally devastated and what an awful way to find out, are you in contact with his family as they must be feeling the same as you, it must be liking living through a nightmare, I hope you have some sort of support to get you through this awful time, sending you love xx
Hi. Lucinda. Now that is absolutely awful and I feel for you. It’s so often the unexpected that hurts the most. You are in shock, and the worse kind of shock. Whatever I say or anyone else says it may not ease the initial pain. There are many on here who have had similar experiences and I am sure you will get more replies. Everyone of the kind folk on here knows and understands. As Jude says, it is a living nightmare. You loved each other and love can never die, never! It goes way beyond any sort of supposed ending.
Please come back and talk when you feel the need. You are in the right place for sure and among friends.
Take it a day at a time. Have you any support at home? Help and support from whatever source is always just a little helpful at first .
Kind regards and Blessings. John.
Oh Lucinda please accept my heartfelt apologies on your sudden and tragic loss, I know personally how difficult a sudden, tragic death can be it’s been almost 6 months since my fiancé collapsed and died in the street and I am really struggling to get my head around it all, if you feel able to chat 
please contact me if not just know we are here for you in whichever capacity helps you xxx
You poor thing. I really feel for you. My husband went on solo hikes and wild camps and I used to worry myself sick that something would happen. I would never try to stop him doing it as it was his favourite thing. It was a cardio megaly that took my Frankie away from me. He had been out hiking earlier that day with no problems. Your pain must be unbearable. Please take care and post on here when you feel the need💙
Hi Jude,
Thanks so much for your reply. I have been receiving support from family and friends though it’s tricky as his family are American and still live in the States so I can’t fly over due to Covid. I’m just trying to take each day as it comes. Thanks so much for your support,
Lucinda x
Hi John,
Thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate it. I’ve been taking time away from technology to try and process everything that’s happened but wanted to come back and say I’ve read all your comments and have found them all very comforting . I’m just trying to take each day as it comes and find ways to keep his soul alive in my life.
Thanks,
Lucinda
Hi Honeybee31,
Thank you so much for your support and I’m so sorry to hear about your tragic loss as well. I’ve been rather withdrawn the last few weeks trying to come to terms with everything but I’m feeling able to talk more now. I have sent you a private message x
Hi Blue1,
Thanks so much for your reply. I’m the same, I would never stop my boyfriend from hiking either, it was what made him happy, though I was always relieved when he got back home. I never thought anything would ever happen to him, he always seemed so invincible to me. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss as well, I’m sending you lots of love. Lucinda
Hi Lucinda
I’m pleased you are back on the site. I loved going out hiking with Frankie. We used to do walking holidays and stayed in a couple of bothies. I have been out a couple of times. One was an organised walk in his honour. I don’t have the same love for it now. It’s just not the same. I have found a new activity which is totally different. Am learning to play the drums. Something I’ve always wanted to do but never brave enough. My counsellor told me I would end up surprising myself making my own choices and she was so right. I’m sure you will find your own way too. I’m still having bad days of course but music is great therapy. Sending love and hugs your way 
Hi Blue1,
I’m the same, I used to love going for hikes with Cade but I just look at them differently now. Maybe one day. I’d love to do a walk in his honour, that’s such a lovely idea. I’m glad you have found a passion in the drums - music is supposed to be a great therapy and I’m sure with practice you will have found a new talent! I’ve started taking up painting this week, I’m trying to find a creative outlet for all my thoughts and I do find it very calming. Sending you lots of love xx
That’s great Lucinda. Creating something is good for the soul. I’m nowhere near being talented 
but with practise and determination I’m sure I’ll nail it. I am sure that Frankie is proud of me:blue_heart:
Well Blue, you may be talented more than you know. So many have taken up painting in later life and found it very therapeutic. Grandma Moses, a lady who took up painting in her eighties and went on with it until her late nineties.
She made a lot of money from her paintings, but that was not why she did it. Winston Churchill said that if it wasn’t for his painting he could not have carried on during the war.
I make ancient model ships. A kit takes about eighteen months to build. I normally have not a lot of patience, but my wife was often surprised how I was able to do the rigging.
If you want to practice patience try rigging a model of an ancient warship. I lost interest after my wife passed, but I am now able to begin again.
The people I so admire are the foot and mouth artists who produce amazing paintings using only their mouth and feet because of disability. No giving up there. Go on, be a devil and have a go! Best wishes. John.
Don’t worry John I’m at my happiest sitting behind that kit. My tutor says I’m picking it up fairly quickly. However when I listen to music now all I hear is drums( musician’s curse apparently). I think it’s really important to find something that you enjoy. It really does help.Utmost respect to you for the model kits. That takes massive attention to detail💙