I did a very long eulogy for mum. Only faltered once. I couldn’t read it now. I would be a mess. It’s definitely a weird day “the funeral”. That seems like a very horrible dream
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Lovely Daffy. It’s a day of great poetry!
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Hi Jooles
That is so true
It feels like it happened in a movie or to someone else. Looking out on the crowds of people, seeing my mom in utter shock, watching my family from a stage. Unreal stuff.
I still have not opened one condolensces card.
A lovely man came to my dad’s funeral who knew him since they were small children. He was so so sad. It was odd that I had never met him before then.
Shockingly, He passed away 2 months after my dad. I sent his wife a card because he had made an impression on me and I could not believe he had gone too. I bet she has not opened any of hers either.
Ell
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It’s up to you daffy, but I got rid of all mums clothes and shoes soon after she died. It avoids me having to get upset every time I saw them. I also use her wardrobes now for storage which has helped.
Cheryl x
They are all lovely poems and all mean something important to each one of us x
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I am more raw now than I was at the funeral. That’s shock I guess. The body does amazing things to protect itself. I couldn’t do a eulogy now. I cannot listen to any of her favourite songs. I can barely look at photos. And once when I used to speak freely about her. My heart burns with pain. Passing of time is the enemy not comfort at the moment
Totally agree joules.
I laugh when I think of all the people who told me I would feel better after the funeral! I would have closure!
The pain doesn’t begin until after the funeral because you are either so busy or in such disbelief.
The pain certainly gets worse before it gets better x
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I’ll leave it for now. It struck me today how very full of Mums identity the sitting room is. Plus, there’s evidence of Dad existence too in the room. I think I’ll ebay little bits, that don’t matter to me when I feel more clear headed.
Of course daffy. We each have different ways but I have erased alot of mum from the house because it’s just too painful. I changed the curtains and cushions in her living and added a rug and candles. I also took down her photos except. The room still looks like hers but with my personal touches which has made it easier to sit in there occasionally. I also took nik banks out of her bedroom and although it still has her bedding and furniture it’s just a bit more like a spare bedroom.
All of this was just to make things easier to continue living there for me. Mum is very much in my head and the house still feels like she is missing from it.
Cheryl x
The errors!
Except one photo! And nik naks not banks!
I put a bright throw on Mums settee to brighten the room. I can thankfully escape to my own sitting room.
I am full of emotion 90% of the time. For once, since Mum passed I thought I’ll wear some mascara. I’ve answered the door several times today, unfortunately I picked up the non waterproof one. I later discovered I looked like Alice Cooper.
Daffy,
I’ve worn nothing but waterproof since last june!!
Hi you all sound like a lovely caring group, would you mind if I told my story and join?
Hi brokengirl,
Welcome.please join us
Cheryl x
Hi Brokengirl, I’m glad you found us. It’s a wonderfully supportive group.
Hi everyone, how has everybody’s day gone? Been sorting more stuff out today with the bank and start getting the funeral directors invoice on the system. Dad had always looked after everything and us, so trying to set mom up with an account etc. Both did a lot of crying today x
Sorry to hear that sam.
I wouldn’t want to go through those early days again. Looking back I dont know how i did.
However i did get through and know that you will too.
When my dad died my mums name wasn’t even on the mortgage. My dad paid for everything in cash and mum had never handled money. I had to teach her how to use a cash machine, look after finances and deal with utility companies.
Dads think they are helping by doing everything but it comes as a blow when they are suddenly gone.
Dont worry about the crying, I think it helps to do so x
Yeah sounds exactly the same situation that we are in now. But bless them for doing it and wanting to look after their family. This week has been hard going x
Hi BG,
So sorry that you find yourself in need of this group. Welcome and feel free to share as you like.
I am in an entirely different country and here we all are.
I am so grateful for everyone on here.
Ell
Hi everyone, firstly I’m so sorry that I found you all under these awful circumstances…I lost my dad on the 2nd May last year, nothing could have ever prepared me for the pain I have gone through since that date, he was very unwell with prostate cancer for 15 years but he battled through every treatment until they stopped working, I’ll never forget the last month where he was bed bound and he still kept saying that he had to get better to look after me (I’d just recently split from my husband) and see me happy again. I also can’t cope with the guilt that I wasn’t there when he passed unfortunately I wasn’t called when I should have been. My birthday was this week and I lost it again, I’d been doing so much better but it got to the point where I even walked out of my job. I can’t eat or sleep, I’ve lost three stone and just so disappointed in myself because dad would have kicked my ass…thanks for listening x