Sorry you are having a bad day Cheryl. I know what you mean about the sun. The way our house is we have the lounge and a conservatory surrounding it. A couple of months ago I remember my mum sitting on the sofa in the lounge and as the sunlight came through the conservatory it really lit the lounge up, I remember my mum saying that she had just been sitting enjoying the sunlight shining in. Today exactly the same happened apart from my mum sitting on the sofa. Yeah it does feel like all of the dreams have gone, I am only hoping with time we can enjoy life again, not the same type or level of enjoyment but just a small amount would be better than none.
How is everyone today. Me and mom have had a rough 2-3 days now in a row. 7 weeks tomorrow and not feeling any better. Probably worse really x
I think that’s to be expected sam, reality is sinking in
Mr brother and dad have come to visit Me. Last time they visited my brother seemed in quite good spirits but now he looks terrible and ever so quiet. Dad is ok. And I’m just putting on my face of being ok. But we all just keep looking at each other wondering where is she.
Actually we have just all had fish and chips dad brother and my husband gone into front room to watch football. I’m sitting alone in the kitchen. Normally my mum would have sat here with me. We would have had a gossip and put Friends on Netflix we both loved that
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That’s the problem isn’t it. It’s that hugh massive hole that is left which they use to fill. Got a dad shaped hole left in my heart that no one will ever fill. I wish things we’re different for all of us. Sunday shit day tomorrow. Always dread it. Could you put friends on still and have so remembrance time with your mom? I do that in the mornings. I have some time just me and dad in his chair and have a talk to him before the rest of the day starts x
Thank you Sam I did do that. Had a little cry then went and sat in the front room with everybody. We have a big storm hitting our region in a few hours (Cornwall).
Yeah. A huge gap has been left. My dad was in the kitchen this evening and I was sitting in the lounge. Mum would have normally been sitting in the lounge. I ended up just staring at the sofa where mum should have been sitting. Wishing she was sitting there.
I hear you all. I think we are all on the same page here. At least we all cared and loved our dear ones. I’d rather be feeling like this than not be bothered. Yes weather is pretty bad. Keep safe everyone tonight x
Hi how is everyone today? Hard day today. Seven long weeks since i last seen his happy smiley face. I miss him so much, all the time. Long horrible day especially with this weather x
I know what you mean Sam. Especially with the weather, you end up just sitting around reflecting on what was and could have been.
I went for a walk out on the headland it was quite exhilarating I took my dad we laughed and held each other up. Then we both said. Mum would love this. She loved a good weather watch. She always reminded me how I slept through the great storm in the 80’s. God I miss her. It certainly does not get easier
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No chance to barely think about my loss today
By 9am all my ridge tiles were off the roof and smashed on the floor.
I’ve spent the day speaking with roofers, insurance and just watching and waiting for the pain to start penetrating my newly refurbished and decorated bungalow.
I’ve never seen anything like this weather. It’s been really bad in kent
Rain not pain…although pain is more appropriate
It’s been dreadful it’s absolutely howling here now. The rain is lashing down. We stood outside and you could lean into the wind
Cheryl and Barrie,
I have had a bad day too, today, I have felt so depressed, maybe it was because the weather has been so bad, or because I am approaching Stan’s birthday ( 19th) Feb, six months on and I felt more raw than I did when Stan first passed.
I am sorry that you two have had a bad day too.
Blessings,
Mary x x
Awwww Cheryl. As if things were not bad enough, now you have challenges with the house. I am up in Newcastle and touch wood it has not been as bad as they were forecasting. Today was a right off for getting out the house but no damage luckily.
Mary
My birthday is coming up on the 13th and the thoughts of not getting a card from mum is awful. I don’t even want to bother with my birthday this year. I have said before that I am fortunate as I do still have my dad and I am greatfull for that but there is just a huge part of our family unit missing and I do not like this new way of living.
That’s been playing on my mind for some time now. My birthday is next month and I don’t really feel like celebrating it because I won’t get a card from mum. Last year I stupidly went away on business over my birthday so didn’t see her last year on the day and I’ve deeply regretted it since. I still have her card though and I did take it with me at the time.
I’m up late tonight because I’m an idiot who decided to get into bed and then look at photos and messages on mum’s phone. I’ve managed to make myself thoroughly miserable. I’ve been holding it together for some time but just now I ended up with tears streaming down my face and dripping into the bed as I lay here in darkness and silence. So many hopes and dreams she had as evident in her messages the month before she died. All crushed. I don’t know what the matter is with me tonight. I’m not normally this bad. It’s like all the emotions have ganged up on me again. Mum feels within touching distance and yet is out of reach at the same time.
I had a busy weekend. Saturday was spent tidying mum’s garden and removing pots in preparation for letting. Her garden bench is still there and I sat on it for a while remembering previous occasions there. No cup of tea was forthcoming this time.
Today has been horrible. I’m on the south coast and it’s been terribly windy and I think a tile has come off but I was expecting to lose more. Calming down now thankfully.
I’m going to try and be in a more positive mood tomorrow although that doesn’t seem possible right now.
Barrie/mary/Shaun
I didn’t mention earlier but it was actually my birthday today. First one without mum and loads of damage to my roof.
Great one.
I got the grand total of 2 birthday cards. One from my sister and a joint one from my partner and daughter.
Couldnt leave the house and feel totally miserable!