Paeony,
So very sorry for your loss ,not a easy journey to be on ,
Lost my husband October 2022, and i still cannot believe he has gone ,
I walk a lot and try to meet friends ,life is so different ,
Take care
Sue x
2 Likes
Hi
I know exactly how you are feeling. I thought about giving up so many times since my husband passed. If it wasn’t for our fur babies I probably would have. It’s depressing and it hurts so bad a lot of days. We had plans and then he died 2 days before our daughter died some 21 years ago. I pray for comfort and strength on a daily basis. I do understand all of the emotions that you are dealing with. I won’t say in time it will get better because I am not sure it ever will. I can’t really go around people we use to hang out with because it reminds me that I am alone now and they all seem so happy, and I be feeling like I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable so I don’t go anywhere anymore. I pray that you are able to find the comfort and loving support that I am yet to find.
2 Likes
I am so sorry to read that you lost your husband and daughter. How horrendous for you. Life indeed is unfair and cruel. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly early last year. Life will never be the same because we never chose this new life and I wish I could have my old happy life back. I do hope that you have lots of support from family and friends. Take care and big hugs xx
Dear Susie…
Cardiac arrest has the pain of suddenness added to the pain…sorry to hear your loss…
Do you find comfort at the grave…?
My wife wanted her Ashes scattered on her parents grave on Achill island (west coast of Ireland).
Which I did alone on my birthday last month…
I took my guitar and played “my love is like a red red rose”…her father sang it to her as a child… however,I found the whole experience very sad and Swore I will never return to Achill island.
2 Likes
Jimmy 1975
Bless you that must have been so emotional,but such a lovely send off,
My husband was buried and i do go to the cemetery at least once a week ,or sometimes more ,play his favourite music ,he loved Evergreen by Barbara Streisand,
Which was played in Dave funeral i do sometimes take some Cider to pour on his grave
It just gives me some comfort,
Hope you have family and friends nearby for support,
I do have some friends who i meet up with to go shopping or for a meal
But not the same as been with our soul mates ,
My Son lives a 5 hour drive away and i won’t drive that far on my own ,
Lost my confidence,as i was in the car when my husband was driving when he had a
Cardiac arrest,
Take care So sorry for your loss
Best wishes
Susie.
1 Like
It’s been 3 weeks now since I lost my soul mate of 42 years. It’s tough this new world I find myself in. I read the comments on here and know that I’m not the only one. I try to keep busy during the day and that is a distraction from the grief but it is the evenings and the nights which are really tough. I know its early days for me on this new path but not sure if its going to get any better.
3 Likes
@Derek364 Im so sorry for your loss. Its 60 days today since I lost the love of my life. I miss him every single day. Do you have a hobby that could distract you in the evenings?
I promised Jim that i would carry on without him, and i have to find ways to do that. My one piece of advice is dont be pressurised into doing things before you are ready. Its your grief, and everyone is different. Do things when you are ready, and you will get through this.
2 Likes
Derek364
I too find the evenings and nights difficult . I have insomnia since the death of my darling husband . It feels like this is how it’s going to be from now on without him .
I have to add the days are no way normal either .
Finding our way step by step day by day. What ever I find myself doing it some how feels mindless , fruitless just passing time.
I need to come up with meaningful hobbies particularly for my evenings.
Thank you. It does help to chat. I try to keep myself so busy during the day so come 8pm I’ m exhausted and just go to bed. Only thing is I’m awake again at 4am and then the day repeats. I know it’s early days and I will need to get use to being alone now. I am lucky with friends and family but still feel so lonely. I guess that ia a feeling I will need to get use to.
1 Like
@paeony @Derek364 @wilderness
All you say is all so familiar. The evenings are hard I agree. The mornings feel better to me as I congratulate myself on having made it through but wonder if anyone else finds the weekends especially lonely? 
I used to look forward to weekends when we used to enjoy time together but they seem so empty now and I’m dreading the first long one at the end of this month.
I try to plan a few things but I do feel myself sink again at a weekend.
1 Like
I don’t think the grief goes Derek so it doesn’t get better but it does get different. Some kind person tried to explain to me when I was anxious about time taking one’s beloved further away from you, that they always stay close to you but other things happen around you and in that way you will cope. X
Hiya, I totally agree. I was just thinking about Easter. Last year we had a lovely chilled weekend together planning our wedding and our forthcoming trips. This year will be just me. I have decided to do at least one thing each day of that weekend that I wouldn’t normally do but that I really fancy. At the moment I have booked a reiki session, some reflexology, a massage and a facial! It’s a way of looking forward to it rather than dreading it. We’ll see if it works! Take care everyone today. Beautiful morning here so I think a walk on the beach is on the cards x
2 Likes
@Arvia What a lovely idea for Easter.
I keep seeing a sticker on a car which says, “One life - live it!” It’s so poignant yet so hard to consider ourselves as the lucky ones who still have a life but we do for now and I think our partners and soulmates would want to know that we were “living” it - at least for today! 
1 Like
Derek 364,
So very sorry for your lost ,not a journey we all want to be on ,some days i feel like it has been a bad nightmare ,hope you have family and friends for support,
I walk a lot to clear my head i do go out with friends shopping ,but not the same without my husband i do go to the cemetery at least once a week and play Dave his favourite music ,my way of dealing with my grief,
Had a stressful day today my car wouldnt start ,know nothing about cars ,
A neighbour put jump leads on it ,so i could get it to a Garage my husband always dealt
With our cars ,
Take care
Susie .
1 Like
Hi Susie, yes nightmare is a good word, just wish i could wake up. Well today was also my 60th birthday so nice that people came ro see me but have been very low all day. Never been very good at ironing but managed 4 shirts this afternoon, I’m sure I’ll get better with more practice. Karen use to fly through it. Anyway off to bed now.
2 Likes
Hi Derek
Happy 60th Birthday, glad you had people round ,the 1st of everything is so difficult,
You should be very proud of yourself tackling the ironing,
I have problems getting the petrol mower started ,my late husband had no problems with it ,
I stay up late at night because i dont sleep very well ,
Goodnight
Take Care
Susie
Sorry for your loss Susie. I lost my partner just before Christmas and can relate to a lot of your thoughts can echo them.
Our futures removed and theirs it’s so unfair. I don’t have dogs but they must give you something to concentrate on.
I have a good friend’s network and can function in a group. All social outings provide some respite but coming home to an empty house is more the reality of it al, and where do we go from here ? My thoughts are with you.
People talk of moving on but don’t like that term at all. All we can do is move forward . We have no choice in that. Time is doing that for us unasked.