Lost mum & gran 13 apart. Anyone else experiencing similar

Coping with bereavement
1

Hello,

I lost my mum in November and lost my gran in February. Gran was my best friend and I miss her so so much. I miss mum too.

Everyone is grieving my mum and not my gran, I feel grans death has been overshadowed by mums death.

I helped mum half the week then I helped gran too.

I had the honour and the privilege of being with my gran as she passed.

I am struggling with cumulative grief
Cumulative grief is what happens when you do not have time to process one loss before incurring another . The losses come in too rapid a succession for you, the bereaved, to heal from the initial loss.

I’d anyone else suffering with this?

There were chunks of my life where mum was missing. Gran was always by my side. Everyone is focusing on my mum and my gran is being overshadowed - which hurts so bad as gran was my constant, my everything, my best friend and like mum to me. This is not in any way decrying my mum.

If love to speak to someone who is also experiencing cumulative grief.

Thank you for reading

2

Hello @Inspireme,

Thank you for reaching out - I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum and gran.

Coping with culminative grief is a topic I’ve often seen come up on our community so hopefully someone will be along to offer their support. You might want to read this thread by which @YUMMIWOO posted recently - maybe you can connect with each other? @Angekin also talks about experiencing multiple losses close together on her thread here.

You might also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful right now.

I hope you find the community to be a support to you too. Take good care,

Seaneen

3

Hello
I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mum and gran so close to each other. It is so hard to deal with several losses together. You do not have the time to fully grieve each loss.
Over the 2.5 years I have had around 10 losses in my family, including aunts. cousins, second cousins, my father in law and heartbreakingly my mum in February this year. So I can understand how difficult to deal with several losses in a short matter of time!
One thing I find helps is to write my feelings down and use the journal on Sue Ryder. It might be of help to you if you write letters to your nan and mum advising of how you feel about them,
I hope this helps.

Take care of yourself. Self care is important.