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I’m grateful to you for pointing out those home Truths and I will take that on board. It seems obvious that others will have been similarly affected. Quite recently I contributed to a thread on issues relating to the points you have made and the danger of becoming less relevant and “harming” others and your comments have confirmed my thoughts. I’ve noticed that some others that contributed to that thread have contributed less frequently since.
I developed that approach too Toria. If others are nieve enough to think this is something that can be ‘got over’ and we ‘move on’ then let them believe it. You’re right it helps them to cope with ‘us’!
I believe YorkshireLad deals with his grief the best way he knows how, as we all do. Probably a little bit in denial of his true feelings and pain. Prefers to keep busy rather than sit down and let them engulf him. I suspect that because, so am I, to a degree. I see it in myself at some point most days. We all have to do what we all have to do. I can’t inagine there’s a right or wrong way. I think the responses on this forum from everyone are only ever made to encourage, support and empathise. Always a difficult thing to do in writing rather than in person.
Love to you x
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Don’t ever stop contributing Yorkshire Lad
That would be devastating
I value your posts and your opinion and even seek you out on occasions when I am muddied up which is very often !
Sending you a hug and big thanks for being who you are
Love Romy xxxxx
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Hello YorkshireLad. With respect, I must disagree with Toria. I have never found your posts to be patronising in any way, shape or form. I have always found them to be laced with logic, positivity and knowledge. I am interested read all that you have to say and indeed there are times when you have made me smile, even laugh out loud. I think you’re right when you say about points becoming less relevant and harmful etc to others and I too have noticed the absence of others, including myself. However, I do continue to read many posts and new threads but feel I have nothing new or helpful to offer so keeping shtum. Thank you for all you posts and intelligent thoughts. I appreciate them.
I agree with Romys sentiments. I too have sought you out and value your approach, coping mechanisms, and your honest advice. You know this to be true because I’ve thanked you more than once for those very things. Deal with your day the best way for you. That’s all any of us ever can do!
Toria, how I agree with you! Both in relation Yorkshirelad and how the future feels empty!
Sometimes I wished I would cry more - and I think this is why my body has not been well
This whole experience is awful -
This forum is so helpful
Sadie x
I look forward to more feeling connected comments from Yorkshirelad - so we can hear the real him!
Sadie x
Limited activities this weekend, had steroid injection in my left wrist close to the carpel tunnel, so have to rest it a couple of days. Decided to sort through a couple of boxes of stuff I removed from the spare room when it was being refitted last November. Trying to be practical really. I’ve stashes of photos, done in albums, three full large ones from photos taken on safari in Kenya 12/13 years ago, intending to scan them into the pc, save them on the hard drive as well as two external hard drives and My Cloud too. To make sure I don’t lose them if one device fails, then I shall shred them, the photos I really like of Alan, I am emailing to the photographer who did Ada’s photo shoot as he’s going to compile a framed montage for me. So this is my mission this weekend, added bonus of clearing stuff we no longer need, found a big box of Christmas cards from way back, all unused, they’re serving no purpose now as I buy from Help 4 Heroes and The British Legion nowadays.
Hope you have as good a weekend as you can. I’m going away next Sunday, a little apprehensive about it at present, but feel sure I’ll be fine once I’m at the airport. Our son is house/pet sitting, saves uprooting the dogs too. ☆
I’ve never shied away from constructive feedback, or criticism for that matter. In my working life it went with the territory and it may have led to me modifying my behaviour or my thoughts. Being made aware of something gives that opportunity.
In my book the thought that I come across as patronising is in the same bracket as coming across as racist. It’s quite defining and can’t just be dismissed lightly.
I won’t be taking my bat home. I will give much more thought to what I post and how I post.
I’m sorry Sadie but I doubt I will be distinguishing my feelings from my thoughts. To my mind there is a very clear causal relationship between the two… in fact it could be said they are the same thing. As a humanist there are many subjects where I deliberately avoid comment. I acknowledge an underlying series of beliefs that would upset a lot of people and maybe some of these beliefs are part of what you call feelings.
Like I said before I’m grateful for the opportunity to take stock and thanks to the people who provided a balance.
Oh gosh
You are being busy !
Putting me to shame !
Where are you going next weekend ?
You’re bound to feel a bit apprehensive . I’m apprehensive about going out for the night with my children sometimes so goodness knows what I would be like if I was going away . I suppose there’s a first for everything
Sending lots of love
Romy xxxx
Dear Yorkshire Lad
For what it’s worth , I have never found you patronising and that’s the truth
We are all individuals with different points of view and I have never found anything you have said to be offensive in any way
Keep being yourself
Romy xxxxx
Thanks. I will try. I’m not sure who my self is nowadays.
I’m going for a walk in the rain now and then it’s football on TV. Double punishment!!
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Thanks. I think that if just one person feels patronised then that’s bad. I suppose it’s because we all feel “differently.”.
None of us are sure who we are any more but I believe you to be a very nice man .
Enjoy the walk and the football . I am sure they will help make you feel better not worse !
Romy xxxxx
Yorkshirelad, i agree with you - mind, emotions and body are the same - I think that my body is pay a heavy price for all the emotional distress I am having.
I am so sorry if I misunderstood you
Sadie xx
At the risk of sounding patronising myself, I feel we must remind ourselves as to the definition of the word:
Patronise: to talk to someone in a way that shows you think they are stupid or inferior to you. (Oxford Essential English Dictionary).
Never have I considered YorkshireLad, or anyone else on this forum, to be patronising. I have only experienced understanding and genuine kindness, sympathy, empathy etc from you all. Thank you. I cannot stress enough the comfort which you have all given me in some form or other. It’s our misfortune that we find ourselves on this site at all but here we are. Keep it coming everyone. Xx
Yorkshirelad- you have a fan club!! That is good
Sadie x
To Crazy Kate. Like all of us on here I am grieving and am entitled to feel how I feel .I am happy that some of you do not share my view of one or two of Yorkshire lads pots but that does not negate my view, it simply differs. More importantly how patronising of you to assume I do not understand the definition of a word I have chosen to use. It actually can mean demonstrati g a degree of superiority which has happened when being dismissive of ur use of the word fear etc. I don’t want to waste time with prolonged disagreements, I feel lousy enough. Let’s just agree to disagree as In the past I have got a lot of support from this forum.