Hi Jacquie, it must be difficult to see your brother in law with someone else - but the reality is that we never know how the other person is feeling . Maybe he was lost, broken etc without your sister. I don’t think there is anything wrong - have you talk to him how you feel?
Hi
I will see how I am but it’s got onto my chest
I have severe Asthma so not feeling very energetic
Cut one of the lawns yesterday had to buy a new lawn mower as I found Brians petrol mower hard work.
I will use it occasionally when feeling strong The gardens is quite steep
I will go first weekend in May to get some bedding plants just so cold here again
Will be glad when it warms up
In bed now hopefully will get a god night sleep
I expect like everyone else on here when I’ll is when I really miss being pampered.
Nite nite everyone
Love June E
Dear Jacqi I suppose everyone is different .Some people will start other relationships.
The couple next to me , both in their seventies are partners. Theyve both been married to other people who have died.
Makes you wonder how close their married relationships were.
It just seems alien to me to move on.
I know we were made for each other and it was meant for life.
I just wish Phils life had lasted longer.
Now I will wait for him and only him.
I will carry on a life with my family and do my best to keep going for their sake.
Love Sandra xx
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Dear Sandra, it seems that peoplexthatvwere happily married are more prone to marriy again then people that were unhappy- if you were unhappy in a marriage you are less likely to want to do it again
S x
Well said Jo
Julie xxxx
Hi, interesting that was what I was told by a Bereavement Counsellor. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else but she said people who were happily married are more likely to go into another relationship.
Rosa
Hi Rosa, I can’t really imagine marrying anyone else - I can’t imagine loving some one as I loved Jack and the thought of a grumpy old man makes me cold haha
Sadie x
hi julie take care hun xx love jo xx
nite everyone stay safe we can get through another nite we can get through another day we can then get through another week and so on because we are strong no matter what this life throws at us and we are strong because we have got each other we will follow this path and see where it leads there will always be our husband/wifes there to guide us xxx sending hugs to everyone nite xx
Sleep well
Xx
hi Rosa i would hate to be on my own forever and i know Darrell would hate me to be on my own x i think a few people will take some comfort in the thought of a future happiness again so thank you xx jo
Hello,
I miss my lovely husband every minute of every day and I can’t imagine being with anyone else at this moment in time. But I can’t stand the loneliness and that life has lost its meaning. There’s this feeling of getting up and just having to get through the day. I have friends and family but even being with them feels different now.
My lovely husband wouldn’t want be to feel so sad and alone and I have listened to my Counsellor. She says a traumatic sudden death takes along time feeling like I do now but talks about the future positively. I can’t see it but some company would be nice.
Rosa X
hi Rosa i miss my Darrell terribly x and like you i dont like the loneliness its ok to have female and male friends but its the companionship isnt it thats missed the holding hands the arms around us the feeling of being safe and secure and mostly the feeling of being needed x i think we have to keep our minds open and what happens happens we have to look after outselves now and make our own destiny x love jo
Dear Rosa
My husband died completely unexpectedly too last summer
Nothing feels the same without him
I spend time with my family and friends but no one gets me the way he did . I miss that terribly as much as I miss him …the being totally understood and accepted flaws and all
I can never imagine wanting to be intimate with anyone . That part of me has died along with him . But the thought of not being special to someone ever again or being hugged and having my hand held is scary . I think companionship is a basic human need especially when you have experienced a loving relationship for as long as you can remember.
I don’t have the answer to living well while grieving . It is all too new and raw for me but whatever helps anyone to get through the rest of their life in the least painful way I suggest that they go for it …whether it be dating , getting remarried, making the best of being single , throwing yourself into social activities or staying home pottering about , volunteering , helping within the family or working or whatever . I just hope that we can carve out an acceptable life for ourselves as time goes by if we are fortunate enough to still have our lives to live .
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waking up with a heavy heart feeling sorry for myself because my husband is gone . Maybe I will have no choice in the matter . You can’t make yourself happy when you are not . So in that case the challenge is to try to get a different mindset and be grateful for the love I’ve had and for everything and everyone I still have . I am working on it . Goodness knows if I will succeed but I know that my husband wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life down in the dumps because of him . I think he would feel guilty for leaving me like that even though he never wanted to go .
What a weird place my head is now …trying to make sense of something that makes no sense. I think it is the lack of warning that makes dealing with sudden death so difficult . The phrase here today and gone tomorrow as never been more apt
Anyway I am rambling now .
Everyone do whatever they can today to experience glimpses of peace and acceptance of our new situations . Be open to whatever comes along . It may turn out to be pleasant and just the tonic you need
Sending big hugs to everyone
Romy xxxxx
Dear Sheila
My husband was 19 and I was 16 when we met . We have grown up together . He is irreplaceable
I don’t know who or what I need now to help me feel better . That sounds selfish but what purpose does a miserable life serve …none . Maybe that’s all I will have now for the rest of my days but I am 59 . My mum is nearly 95 . If I live to be her age I have a long time to be miserable in front of me
Any suggestions about how to resolve this situation would be gratefully received . I’m not being sarcastic . It is a genuine request for advice from someone older and further along this grief journey because I am stumbling about now in the dark trying to work out where the hell I go from here
Sending all my love
Romy xxxxx
Rosa, Sandra,Romy - you have said so well what is also how I feel. The feeling of loneliness, the heavy heart etc etc etc So hard to explain to people that never been in our situation!!
Even though Jack was ill for 4 months, it does feel quite sudden, he was strong never ill always supportive and kind. Was he perfect of course not but he lived me and I loved him
Safie x
i agree with you sheila i am 65 and i know i will never want anyone one else alan will always be my one and only we were married for 46 years but we must all do what is best for us if i was younger who knows at the moment i am better on my own as all i do is cry all day but looking to the future i do not like the thought of spending 15 plus years on my own but maybe in time look for someone [female] in the same position as me to share a house with for company sorry for every ones loss heartbreak and suffering
Thats it Sheila For me too when youve never known anything else.
We met when I was 15 and Phil was 17.
From then on we were each other we lived for each other, more or less grew up together.
For the next 49.years we were a couple, a partnership a team.
I dont see me meeting and wanting anybody else
I do miss the closeness and the intimacy.
I yearn for him every day.
I look at his pictures and cant believe how powerful my feelings are.
Sometimes its like were just meeting again.
I have my family , thats what I will concentrate on
Love Sandra xx
Gizzz!! No one is saying they want a husband substitute!! Read what Romy said : it has pain, hurt, I happiness. Loliness etc etc !!
All she is saying that she misses this closeness she had with her husband! Her love is not any less than your love! Ask yourselves, what is best, maybe in the future have a partner that can give you some joy or spend your time waiting to day , suffering and alone??
Gosh! What is right for you it may not be for other people!!!
Suffering is supposed to help us to be more compassionate and empathising more with others!!
Sadie x
It may not be nice Sheila but there was an judgemental over tobe on what was said before!
I don’t think I will ever have another partner etc but all I had to do is to listen to people’s hurt and suffering without saying not me not me that!!
Didn’t want to do bad harsh
End of it ! It is not even my post that I am defending
Sadie x