Hi Barbcon and Yorkshire Lad. I agree 100%, walking has saved my sanity. Why pop a pill when we have help from nature, which is much more healthy. People say to me “I couldn’t walk like you do” and my reply is “Do you ever try”. I’m no youngster and even with my mind full of grief I feel fit and well physically and so thankful that I am able to appreciate the beauty around me. If only we take the time to look at it, it’s there for free for any one of us. I also laugh at my dogs as they play with each other and they don’t even like each other that much. Play over and it’s back to ignoring each other. I never feel alone with them accompanying me and can usually meet someone for a chat. Like the idea of the wildlife trust might look into that. So much beauty and wildlife on the Island, would be silly not to make use of it. Used to do the long 15 mile walks with the Ramblers but they went so fast and missed so much around them that Brian decided to keep to the shorter ones and use his camera on route. I like to be out for two to four hours now. All the best and keep walking. And to those that don’t walk then give it a go. Pat xxx
Winston and Ada are helping me, I go out with them 3 times a day, then on the Sunday pug walk, when the better weather finally arrives we’ll have trips out further afield, maybe even renting a dog friendly cottage that has lots of walking routes.
Some days I really don’t feel like going out, but the stares they give me, force me into submission, rain or shine they want their walks
Jen☆
I haven’t got time…I’m still weeding Pattidot (eye roll emoji) xx 
A likely story. Is it selfie time on the kneeler.
Hi Ann I lost my husband last November he only 55 years old we had been together for 30 years, it is very hard people say it gets easier but I don’t think it he was my soulmate and best friend. I you didn’t mind me messaging you.you look after your self xx
I agree I don’t think it will ever get easier how can you go from spending all your time with your best friend and soulmate all those little conversations about everything to nothing absolutely heartbreaking im sorry for your loss Adele x
Jen , well done for all these walks. I used to exercise a lot but since las June when we found out Jack wasn’t well I stopped exercising - have tried to restart but not very successfully mainly because of the sacro-iliac joint as result since Jack died I put weight on !!!
So now I am not only sad, hurt, lost but ic also fat!! Great!!
Sadie
Hi Jen, Our beloved dogs have absolutely no mercy have they. Wellies on, rain mac and out we have to go. Fortunately our weather has been very good here and the dogs are getting lots of lovely long walks. Which of course is good for them, of course I just tag along. Seriously I love it. The walks are a real tonic and having my beloved best friends with me is a bonus. Sounds like a plan to hire a cottage. We was talking about doing that but I doubt I can be bothered now. All the best Pat
Hello Sadie. I have been going to the gym for years but when Brian was ill I gave it up for five months. Never in my wildest dreams did I know that it would be so hard to resume doing the things that I took for granted. I eventually made the effort but ended up sitting on the exercise mat and crying but now I am back to enjoying it and make the effort to work out properly. Today I tried to do some aerobics and yoga at home, now this is something that I have struggled with. Today I managed to cope, probably because my little terrier Bugsy decided to sit on top of me and bite me while I was doing the Yoga on the floor and he made me laugh. So get back into the exercise Sadie, it is a struggle at first but give it a go again. Pat xxx
Poor excuse. Finish the weeding THEN do the exercise. Pat xxxx
Patti, I agree. Exercise will help but I am still struggling with pain in the joint and I have be n dealing with this so even hung for walks is challenging.
I am tired of feeling unwell!
We have 4 children and they have been brilliant with their support. But now I am finding that are getting anxious because I put weight on because I am not exercising etc etc ohhh I keep telling them I am doing all I can at the moment: : facials, nails done, back to work, osteopath, massages, counselling, meeting new people, trying to expand my circle of aquamtances etc etc Cant do more ! I am tired. I hurt, I am sad, I am lost … it is exhausting!!
So sorry for my rant!!
S xx
Dear Sadie
I am absolutely knackered as well
Normally we would have gone on holidays last September and October and away for overnight breaks and be planning to go again next month
Instead I have been up to my neck in business and grief
I feel wrecked
But I don’t even want to go anywhere away without my husband
It’s like Groundhog Day doing the required same stuff … over and over again with no respite ahead
Am going to try to get some sleep now
Hope your pain improves by tomorrow
Love Romy xxxxx
Romy, my soul hurts and my body hurts!!
Sleep well
S xx
Shut up
Pattidot you should run a boot camp. You’ve got me weeding. Buying a long hoe. Using a kneeler…and before I even finish that job you’re lining up the next one. You’ll have me growing lettuce next :)) xxx
All of me hurts and I have a sensation of pain day and night over my heart - like there is a split that cannot be healed. I have a broken heart ( but not a dysfunctional heart) and it makes me weary. When will a glimpse of happiness or anticipation ever return? I exist but do not live. Cx
I’m so sorry for your loss it’s utterly heartbreaking I wish I could tell you hun it’s six months and three weeks on Wednesday coming since my soulmate of seventeen years fell asleep in my arms im utterly truamatised witnesing it all happen in front of my eyes we had all the future mapped out dreams and hopes to grow old together everything my life has been blown apart taken away so cruelly and tragically your in my thoughts take care as much as possible Adele x
Cristal, one day we will be able to live again
S x
It’s the kneeler I wanted to see not you. I’ve got this image of it being a green damask embroidered with your initials, gold piping round the edges and maybe a little leather holster for the trowel…thats a bit like a miniature spade FYI.
The sad fact of the matter is that to all who know me they are thinking “she is amazing etc, etc” little do they know:
A. I don’t want them to know - no one would wish this on there worst enemy. It is lonely, so lonely and nothing will make it better.
B. The me that was me has gone. That means my close friends may not have changed but I have and our relationships are different.
C. My filter has gone. I say it as it is. Deal with it. It’s still not as horrific as my reality.
#surivive