Hi De
sounds like you have been low today, likewise! At least you can control the tears when in Company. I try to but often the tears start so I have to make a quick get a way. I don’t feel you should feel quilty for not having children. I had no children with Mike and the fact you were together for so long proves that having no children was not a problem Try and be strong De, its hard I know. We are all here to try and confort each other at our sad times. Thank goodness for this web site ah! Take Care Love Suex.
Oh Sheila, Sounds like you have been in such a bad place today, so sad, I have been low too. Maybe because the sun was shining you thought about the happy times you spent together. Its so so hard ah! Hate this life. Lets hope tomorrow brings better times for you and everyone who is suffering. We need lots of comfort and strength to carry on. Take good care love Suex
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Thanks dear Sue. Let’s see what tomorrow brings. Hope a bit of light to everyone.
Xx
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Thank you for your kind words,I was told maybe I should think about another dog but as I am 72 now would have to get an older one and it would not be a replacement for Brodie so thinking about this not sure but the loneliness is terrible,just wish John was here silly I know,good job we don’t know what is ahead,fed up looking at this TV what else is there to do,there is only so much reading and housework you can do or want to do,was planning to go down to Devon to visit my last Aunt but sadly she passed away a few months ago so that ideas gone.Well hope things are better for you and everyone so take care .
Brenda
xx
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Hi De
Have you had a good or better day today? Hope so.
I have had a day with a friend and got in tonight. I was sort of ok until I read so very lovely messages from some very kind people on this site.
I had a good old cry! It just restores your faith in human kindness when you receive such lovely messages from complete strangers.
Look after yourself Take care Love Suex
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Dear Sue thank you for thinking of me.
I had today my nieces and nephews with their children and had small picnic. It was nice to have them all with me but I had to dessapear several times to have a good cry. I miss my darling at this family times. Nothing is complete.
I cannot stop this deep sadness although I try so hard to accept reality and be sensible about it. I miss my darling so much. I am getting more scared as time goes by and pray for peace so that I can start to be thankful that he was in my life. But at the moment I don’t feel I have a life .
I don’t won’t to sound like I do as I have always been a positive person… But I feel defeated. But I will "pull myself " tomorrow when at work !
So glad for this forum.
Take care Sue
Xx De.
Yes I too am getting scared-er as the days, weeks move on, I know my life as I knew it is about to change, new people, new places, a whole different future is about to unfold…At the moment I cant even picture my future nor do I even know what a future I would want, I just want our old life to continue the way it was, the way it has been for the past 20 years…I dont even know as I type at 4.am this morning whether I even want to be here, I am meant to be with Richard, we were meant to be together forever…I never realised when he was alive how much I would be missing him if he was gone, well now I know…
Jackie…
Dear Jackie, so sorry that you also feel this bad.
I wish I have positive words to say, but none comes to my heart today. Like you, ithought we were going to be together for ever. (At least grow old together like his lovely parents 62 years together).
Life is hard now but hope we can overcome this.
Take care xx
Dear Jackie and De
I read something on Facebook or instagram this morning which sums up how I feel : it’s called …
Where it hurts
There are days where the melancholy settles on you like a sudden change in the weather . The kind of sadness that is intangible . Like the presence of an ache where you can’t pinpoint exactly where it hurts ,you just know it does
Lang Leav …author
I can pinpoint the ache though
And I have it most days
Some days worse than others
This morning is one of them
Sending much love
Romy xxxxx
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You are the same age as me Brenda and I know how you feel, just wanting to have someone to be there when it is so desperately lonely and you are missing your beloved so much. I thought I had someone to be around with me - my son who we welcomed back home 6 years OK when he lost his job, couldn’t pay his flat rental and wanted to come home for a few weeks. He has been here ever since but now, less than a year since Iain passed away he has announced he is leaving and going 120 miles away.I am heartbroken for a second time. He doesn’t seem to care at all about how desperate I feel dreading the loneliness. There is only the Samaritans and the Silver line to talk to. I feel like ending it all as there is no future at all. I hope you are feeling better today Brenda. It is pouring down here, which doesn’t help. Jacqi
Hello everyone Today is a really bad day for me we would have been married 53yrs. I am going to London to see my Dave. Last year we were in portugal celebrating our anniversary it really is not real. Would like to thank everyone on this site who like me really explain how their feel as even though I have close family and friends none of them really have a idea how I feel. Lots of Hugs Queenie
Hi Queenie I feel for you today and stopped by to say hugs for you and hope for peace in your heart today. I hope your visit gives your heart a lift. Much love Kate xxxx
Morning Queenie, I know exactly how you’re feeling today, every anniversary brings back memories of the last time we were with our beloved husbands/wives/partners. Each day brings more memories of the life we once had.
Truly hope you get through today as best as you can, I dreaded the approach of our wedding anniversary last March, but was thankful that we were able to spend our golden wedding anniversary together in March last year, little did we realise exactly 2 months to the date I’d be attending my husbands funeral. He passed away 38 hours after I was told the results of his latest tests. I am also so very thankful he didn’t know he had cancer, it was and still is a shock to have happened so quickly.
Sending hugs and blessings to help you through your tough day
Jen☆
Hi. Jacqi. You may feel lonely, as I do, but we are not alone. Oh no! I am so sorry about your son. Just wghen we need people thay seem to let us sdown. We don’t know what goes on in their minds so we should not judge. He may be hiding his pain, I don’t know.
There is afutire. Please, try and get some face to face counselling if possible. The Sarmatians are wonderfulmas is Silver Line. But nothing can take away the pain immediately.
I am sorry about the misspellings, but, once again, my computer plays up now and then.
Take care.
MaryJane…
…today not sure why today seems different as I have been crying on and off since 4.am, it is now turned 11.30 am…just talking out loud to myself, Richard and God, and crying…Our previous happy home was-is also 130-140 miles away, so is his family and mine…
Queenie…
…there is no easy way to get through your today, not a day of celebration as it should have been…I so wish I was there with you to comfort you and give you a hug…
I got taken to a lovely typical village church yesterday morning, ( a church I have chosen to go to, if someone can take me )… There was only three older than me couples, plus I was introduced to the female church warden and the senior in age Lay Minister approached me after the service to welcome a new face, well I just broke down, she sat with me, put her arms around me, listened to me, talked to me, I just went to pieces and sobbed my heart out…
Jackie…
Jackie
I’m sorry you are isolated away from your family as I’m sure it would be such a comfort to have them. All my family are dead but I wish my sister was alive still especially.
It sounds like you have a good source of solace if you visit that church again. Loneliness is so horrible.
Thank you Jonathan. I seem to regularly talk to the Samaritans or the Silver Line and they are very kind but it is only a temporary distraction as, as soon as the phone disconnects you are alone again. I’ve suggested counselling to my son but he refuses and insists he has to get away - is that from me? That is very hard to take when you have paid his debts, loved and nurtured him all his life and now need to be taken care of yourself but feel rejected and unloved.
Jackie I am the same and I don’t think any of us knew how painful this would be until it reveals itself bit by bit and some new aspect of missing someone shows itself. Love xxx
Dear Romy, just how it feels as well. Hope you are ok this afternoon.
Something in the air that we are feeling so low these days. I can’t stop crying and feeling that… this is it!!!
I found also something about grief and feel connected to the words.
“Grief I have learnt, is really just love.
It’s all the love you want to give but cannot.
All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes the lump of your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest.
Grief is just love with no place to go”
I wish our loved ones feel our deep love rather than our deep pain.
Take care ,De xx