So sorry for your loss. As others will say… it’s a process we have to though & we all seem to go through it in our own way. I lost my husband of 50 years last July (dreading the anniversary) I lost my son 3 years ago & recently also lost one of my best friends in car accident. It seems like I have nothing but tragedy in my life. I spends hours sobbing. Have never been on my own & I miss my husband so very much. I have friends that r good, & daughters too. It’s not ‘him’ though. It’s my husband I want. It will be s year soon but I still am so very miserable on my own. I hope your pain stops sooner rather than later but if h need to talk-there r so many of us on here. All very alone & missing somebody. Life is cruel & so sad. God bless u & hope that u get help & comfort knowing u are sadly not alone. Bless u.
Thank you for your kind words, Sheila. My son is taking me to the crematorium and then back to his house to stay the night. I am not sure if I want to stay any longer than one night, if I am asked. If I still lived where Bill and I were together, I would stay at home but I moved shortly after he died and this is the most miserable place I have ever lived. I am hoping to move again before winter. As you said, the heartache is with us for the rest of our days, and I don’t believe that we will ever get over our loss. All I want is to be with Bill again. Love, Eileen xx
Hi Eileen
Thinking of you today and hoping you find some peace.
Yvonne
Thank you, Yvonne. I hope so too. Eileen
Hi eileen
You are in my thoughts today hope you cope as well as you can Laura xxx
Eileen. Thinking of you today and hoping you find a little peace. x
Thank you, Laura. I will be glad when the day is over. Eileen xx
Thank you, Vonnie. So do I. Eileen xx
I know Eileen we all wish these days away you take care Laura xxx
Hi Eileen,
Hope you are coping with the day I can only imagine what it will be like for you as I in Oct will be going through the same it is so hard I wonder sometimes what’s the point in doing anything and have to pull myself together and just get on with it but feel so down and friends really don’t understand how hard it is and even family ,so hope tomorrow will bring some relief for you and try and stay strong that’s all we all can do.
Brenda
x
Thank you, Laura. It’s not been too bad except when I went to the crematorium and had a good cry. Eileen xx
Thank you, Brenda for your kind words. You are so right about the lack of understanding from those who should show some compassion. I have given up on most of them. Everything does seem pointless, as you say. I feel as if I am becoming a robot these days. The day wasn’t too bad except when I went to pieces at the crematorium. I looked at the stone orb where Bill’s ashes are interred and couldn’t believe that he was in there. I hope we will all find some peace of mind in the end.
Eileen xx
To all you lovely people who sent me messages, thank you. It wasn’t as bad as I expected although I kept reliving a year ago when I sat with Bill and held his hand as he died. I could see it in every detail but maybe now the day is over I will feel a little better.
With love to you all. Eileen xx
Hi sheila
I have really struggled the last few days been crying all the time and seem to have went back the way such a horrible feeling didn’t want to come on and go on about it with Eileen facing her husbands anniversary felt it was unfair of me to mention it glad u have got through today Eileen you have been in my thoughts Laura xxx
Dear Laura and Sheila, another sad day over and thank goodness for that. I honestly don’t know where I go from here. The main thing is for me to move away from the place I exist in to somewhere where I can at least have a cat for company and where there are real, live people who at least pass the time of day. I never in all the 66 years I was married to Bill have I lived in such a miserable place. Hopefully it won’t take too long to find somewhere else. Even so, I still won’t have Bill with me and I don’t think that I will ever get over losing him.
This site is a great help as you can say how you really feel without upsetting or annoying someone.
Eileen xx
Hi Sheila
I am struggling today but read the bit about your sons getting divorced. I don’t know what’s happening with my two, they seem very dissatisfied with their lot at the moment and one has commented that his dad’s death has made him realise some things and doesn’t feel appreciated. He has brought up 2 children …not hiis, from toddlers. They are now in their early 20’s living at home. They also have a child of their own. The step daughter has announced she is pregnant .not married. And the son treats the house like a hotell. He’s fed up with carrying them but his wife is a dedicated mum. The other son says his wife is never satisfied with things and is miserable. It’s worrying me because I know they are grieving and going through it too… I have told them to calm down , take a step back and look at what they have, and what they could loose,but I suppose they will do it their way.
I woke up this morning feeling totally gutted and can’t stop the tears, and don’t have my husband , miss him like crazy and can’t really discuss anything with anyone.
The last thing I need now is A family not united. But they don’t want advice so I will just have to sit on the fence.
Sox for the rant
Jx
Hi and thanks I too am not getting involved but it’s hard because there is always two sides to a story but I like my daughter in law and it’s her side of the family that’s causing the problems , and her adult children who are causing the problems, and they are not my sons children or should I say adults, not least her mum who spends more than she has and knocks on their door. You are right though I cannot put it right so have to wait it out but I really don’t need the hassle, having said that you must be a very strong person and I respect your views …thanks
Jx
Thanks Sheila., that’s more or less what I have said and think, but who knows where it will all end but you are right I can’t do anything about it all but I can understand why my son is fed up with the situation because the step children are grown adults now but it’s them and the various carrying on that’s the root cause of the problem.
Thanks for you support,and you are right I have enough to get my head round without this added worry.
Jx
Hello everyone,
I’ve been reading all your posts about family and don’t know if I should be grateful that I’m on my own; no children and one sister on the other side of the country and a very elderly father way down south, 300 miles away. I do feel very lonely though.
Tomorrow is Paul’s birthday, he would have been 61. I’m planning to go out for the day and hope I’ll be OK. I don’t know how I’ll feel.
Fortunately, I’m due to meet the counsellor on Tuesday, so hope I can keep going til then.
Be glad when this weekend is over as well, hasn’t been good,
X Chris
Hi Chris. Tomorrow will be hard another milestone to get through. I am sending you love and hugs. No words can make it easier but I hope knowing others are thinking of you helps.
I’ve had a really hard few days. Hoping next week will be more peaceful.
Do take care. xx